A Walk on the Beach

So, i don't normally share this kind of thing, but some people said i should share this and i remembered ats had a short stories forum...so this i suppose. I wrote it today on the beach. I'm open to any criticisms or comments. I went through and edited it a couple times, but i'm sure it could be better.



It was quiet along the treelined shore of the small, hidden bay save for the rhythmic slosh of the diminutive waves that rolled listlessly up to the beach after their struggle through from the outer ocean and the crunch of pebbles beneath the feet of a lone figure making his way across the beach. He moved with purpose and urgency. Shortly now, it would happen. He'd been waiting years for this. A grin broke on his face and stomach flipped and turned like a gymnast in anticipation. So long now he'd waited.

Years he'd spent waiting. Years of doubt and ridicule from others, years with moments where he'd begun to doubt himself. But he'd remained strong and purposeful through the scathing criticisms and mockery of his family, peers and even his own mind. but now, now the moment was here. Soon the wait would be over.

He stopped when he reached the center of the beach and turned towards the leaden waters stirred by the chill grey wind that barely touched him. He stared searchingly across the bay, his eyes dancing over the waves, scanning every ripple for a sign. His body rigid with breathless anticipation. He sighed spotting nothing.

'Soon' He reminded himself. 'So very soon now.'

He sat upon the smooth pebbles, worn by countless waves, and tried to reflect on what brought him here, on how him of all people came to be the one here.

'The only one in the world.' He laughed to himself, risking a moment to wrench his gaze from the rippling waters and take a quick glance around the empty beach.

He smiled again turning back to the ocean.

'Any moment now.' he breathed, he toyed with the pebbles as he reflected on everything that had brought him here.

A wave of giddiness took him. He began to cackle throwing a handful of stones in front of him as he thought back to the day he'd held a loaded gun to his temple, stared at himself in the mirror, and dared himself to end it now. The day he'd learned of it. The day that started his obsession that seemed endless, but would now finally be put to rest. He was here, the only one in the world.

The only one at the hidden bay, surrounded by forests and treacherous cliffs he'd spent days navigating and climbing. Singlemindedly following the path shown to him, the path leading to this place. This small innocuous spit of beach quiet and cloaked from the world. This place he'd searched endlessly to discover, this place he'd sacrificed his life and mind to discover. The place he'd seen in his dreams, the place he sat now waiting.

Was it true? Was he mad? Was it worth it? Should he have pulled the trigger and ended things that fateful day? Should he have listened and forgotten about what he saw? He was moments away from revelation. It was coming.

The air grew still and heavy around him. It pressed on him, squeezing the air from his lungs and silencing the waves. it was beginning.

He gazed out at the water expectantly. Even as his body grew heavier, his arms deadened and sagged beside him and lifting his head became a struggle. Still he waited watching. Lights danced in his vision from strain and filled the air around him. A soft hum began to grow in his ears. He could hear them now.

'There!' a small ripple on the edge of water, 'There they are.' Hundreds more appeared.

A strangle tingling filled his chest, shooting ice down his veins. He laughed then, uncontrollably. He laughed as he watched them come from the water. So many he couldn't count. His vision clouded over making it impossible to see their approach. His body was like lead and he felt a weight on him now as he gasped for breath. His body grew colder. His limbs vanished entirely, a shadow fell over him. He could feel immense pressure on his chest, a cold steel weight drawing all warmth from his body.

He was so tired, the pain in chest grew, something began drilling through him. The hum became a roar filling his every sense. Still he smiled.

'It'll be over soon.'

A shard of light pierced his vision driving deep into his skull as icy flames stabbed his breast and consumed him. The weight was all encompassing, drawing breath became too much effort. He was right, they were here, they'd come, and he was there. So still, he smiled.

a reply to: dug88

I actually loved what you did with this.

You framed the environment, emotions and the situation really well but at the same time left enough unsaid for the reader's imagination to take over.

Thank you for sharing it and I enjoyed reading it.

a reply to: Lumenari

Thanks for the compliments. I find it hard sharing things like this. I appreciate it.

originally posted by: dug88
a reply to: Lumenari

Thanks for the compliments. I find it hard sharing things like this. I appreciate it.

It's hard to share something you write because it is personal.

You crafted it, after all.

Just keep in mind that people such as yourself who write like that make other people think and feel things that they otherwise would not have.

Use your power wisely.