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Auto Rant and Complain Letter Generator

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posted on May, 15 2020 @ 09:46 AM
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My complaint about PM Justin Fancy Pants Trudeau
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Why is it that some people are so devoid of a sense of humor? Naturally, I'm referring to PM Justin Fancy Pants Trudeau's latest holier-than-thou attitudes. Maybe you didn't listen to me the last time I warned you that when you least expect it, PM Trudeau would support those for whom hatred has become a way of life. Well, he has. So please listen to me this time when I say that PM Trudeau subjects his bagmen to a barrage of paranoid delusions about how McCarthyism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society. But the problems with his treatises don't end there. Okay, this letter has become much too long so I'll just jump right to the punchline: I, for one, was personally offended—and I don't easily offend—by the value PM Justin Fancy Pants Trudeau places on making me dig my own grave and pay for the shovel.

Scott Pakin's automatic complaint letter generator

This is fun AF and a fascinating algorithm.

Enjoy



edit on 5/15/2020 by MykeNukem because: title for clarification



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 09:51 AM
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Everybody lock your doors, get a gun, protect yourself! Justin Trudeau is planning to have a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions! In the rest of this letter, I will use history and science (in the Hegelian sense) to prove that his vituperations are a hotbed of defeatism. Without knowing it, we have been nurturing his dysfunctional, lubricious claque for quite some time. It is now our duty to starve it. If we fail to acquire the necessary courage and fall short of this defensive responsibility, Trudeau will cause riots in the streets in the blink of an eye.

Trudeau is the type of person that turns up his nose at people like you and me. I guess that's because we haven't the faintest notion about the things that really matter such as why it would be good for him to blend together presentism and pauperism in a train wreck of monumental proportions. There are some despicable dissemblers who are crapulous. There are also some who are muzzy-headed. Which category does Trudeau fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check “both”.

a reply to: MykeNukem



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 10:56 AM
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a reply to: MykeNukem
HA HA! Awesome. I wonder how many people filled in their bosses name just to see what spewed out? Now, I'm not saying I did, but I'm also not saying I didn't...



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 11:39 AM
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Super long results but very funny



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 12:19 PM
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a reply to: Butterfinger

You can change the amount of paragraphs in the complaint for the auto 3 to 1 invade you curious



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 03:25 PM
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a reply to: MykeNukem

This was a little weird, I put in my ATS name and this came up:


It nonetheless comes to you from the heart and with my sincere belief that Mr. Tortoise Kweek's COINTELPRO-style efforts to use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of deplorable, egocentric proponents of cannibalism augur a frightening future for us all.


Then I put in my REAL name and this came up:


I, in turn, made the counterargument that he has recently been going around claiming that an inter-dimensional race of reptilian beings manipulates global events to keep humans in constant fear so the reptilians can feed off the negative energy this creates. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk.


Damn, I just got busted by a fake complaint wesbite! LOL!



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 05:19 PM
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originally posted by: TortoiseKweek
a reply to: MykeNukem

This was a little weird, I put in my ATS name and this came up:


It nonetheless comes to you from the heart and with my sincere belief that Mr. Tortoise Kweek's COINTELPRO-style efforts to use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of deplorable, egocentric proponents of cannibalism augur a frightening future for us all.


Then I put in my REAL name and this came up:


I, in turn, made the counterargument that he has recently been going around claiming that an inter-dimensional race of reptilian beings manipulates global events to keep humans in constant fear so the reptilians can feed off the negative energy this creates. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk.


Damn, I just got busted by a fake complaint wesbite! LOL!


LMAO...the subject matter is perfect.

Is this thing sentient?

*Backs out of room





posted on May, 15 2020 @ 05:39 PM
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a reply to: MykeNukem

I need to tell you a little about how Chr0naut's screeds epitomize all that is unsympathetic in the world. And so I shall. You see, I truly believe that I am one of Chr0naut's victims. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that Chr0naut knows how to lie. It's too bad he doesn't yet understand the ramifications of lying. According to him, his writings are a veritable encyclopedia of everything that is directly pertinent to mankind's spiritual and intellectual development. He might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Chr0naut would realize that he thinks that there exists a slave colony on Mars that is populated by kidnapped children. Sorry, Chr0naut, but, with apologies to Gershwin, “it ain't necessarily so.”

Chr0naut believes he can improve society by stamping out the last vestiges of academic freedom, scholarly autonomy, and freedom of research and teaching in our nation's universities. That plan is utter insanity! The mere fact that Chr0naut proposed it proves that he maintains not only that he can change his snappish ways but also that he knows the “right” way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. He's wrong on all counts. In reality, Chr0naut has long been getting away with “enlightening” anyone who doesn't believe that “the norm” shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. I urge all of my beautiful and loyal fans to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong and prove to the world that whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause and, as the alternative, the benighted and obnoxious dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Chr0naut. Choose carefully because if you think that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them, then think again.

Forgive me if I ramble; I'm really upset, as I think you can tell. We are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Chr0naut's thrasonical threats. We're at war with his gormless, reckless apothegms. And we're at war with his salacious values. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that Chr0naut should stop protesting against his weaknesses and shortcomings. Rather, he should forgive himself for them and seek to strengthen himself by facing his voluble fears. Then, perhaps, Chr0naut would stop donning the mantel of racism and engaging in the trafficking of human beings.

The great irony is that Chr0naut says that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. Such verbal gems teach us that Chr0naut insists that things have never been better. I insist that this allegation does not withstand scrutiny, in part because we've all heard Chr0naut's pontifical pronouncement that he is a perpetual victim of injustice. Obviously, that conclusion is based on unconfirmed gossip, questionably-sourced reports, and blatant speculation, but it's also the case that I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I maintain that there is because Chr0naut relies on unforgiving and false tropes to convince doctrinaire pop psychologists (especially the misguided type) that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the national treasury. Disguised in this drollery is an important message: He has been dominating or intimidating others. We need to have long memories and no forgiveness of that sort of behavior. Instead, we must sway people toward the realization that Chr0naut claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to build a totalitarian death machine. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Chr0naut's yes-men. The truth is that Chr0naut spends a substantial amount of time searching for his own name on the Web and glorying in the manifold mentions of his coruscating genius. Yes, I could add that his aides-de-camp compress his machinations into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that from secret-handshake societies meeting at “the usual place” to back-door admissions committees, Chr0naut's winged monkeys have always found a way to intimidate anyone who attempts to find the inner strength to study the impact on society of Chr0naut's greed, stupidity, hubris, and outright corruption.

I overheard one of Chr0naut's peons say, “Might makes right.” This quotation demonstrates the power of language as it epitomizes the “us/them” dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to convince even worthless sots that Chr0naut's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it. Chr0naut writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that he constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that whenever I write that whenever Chr0naut claims that his zingers won't be used for political retribution, I can't help but think that he has just subtracted from the sum of human knowledge, Chr0naut calls me a heinous flag burner. Although such name-calling definitely hurts, no taunt will diminish my commitment to bringing fresh leadership and even-handed tolerance to the present controversy. In fact, I shall demonstrate exactly that type of commitment by stating that Chr0naut maintains that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. Whether that's true or not, his evidence is corrupted by a vast amount of nonsense and outright fraud. Before we can further discuss Chr0naut's claim we must acknowledge that Chr0naut has a vested interest in maintaining the myths that keep his barbarism squad loyal to him. His principal myth is that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. The truth is that Chr0naut insists that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced. Naturally, he gives no evidence whatsoever to support that parti pris. Perhaps that's because Chr0naut is frightened that we might put the fear of God into him. That's why he's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that if we let him sow the seeds of antagonism we'll be reaping the crop for quite a long time. In closing, we must work together to move ahead with a process that serves the interests of our country and all its citizens. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always.
edit on 15/5/2020 by chr0naut because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 05:40 PM
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a reply to: MykeNukem

I've got peons.




posted on May, 15 2020 @ 06:02 PM
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This letter is not about finding scapegoats or blaming or shaming. Rather, it is about winning the culture war and saving this country. Whoa! Don't stampede for the exits! I promise I'll get to the main topic of this letter, Pres. Donald J Trump's fusty philosophies, in just a few sentences. I simply feel it's important first to provide some additional context by mentioning that it strikes me as amusing that Pres. Trump complains about people who do nothing but complain. Well, news flash! He does nothing but complain.

I have seen numerous uppity, polyloquent knuckleheads resort to underhanded tactics. What's sad is that Pres. Trump tolerates (relishes?) this flagrant violation of democratic principles and the rule of law. That just goes to show that I would indubitably like to comment on Pres. Trump's attempt to associate propagandism with conformism. There is no association. My argument is that his positions have no credibility. Ridiculous? Not so.

If you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. Some amount of criticism is acceptable, even helpful. But when that criticism takes the form of singling out just one person unfairly, bitterly, and relentlessly over and over, that's just plain wrong, and we all know it. Well, Pres. Trump obviously doesn't know it, as evidenced by the fact that he maintains not only that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced but also that he is cunctipotent. He's wrong on all counts. In reality, Pres. Trump's camp is comprised largely of suckers and fools. They regurgitate the information that Pres. Trump passes onto them from without much critical thought. There are, however, a few who truly desire self-knowledge and who have fallen the unfortunate victims of Pres. Trump's rebarbative maneuvers. To them I posit that the first thing we need to do is to get Pres. Trump to admit that he has a problem. He should be counseled to recite the following:

I, Donald J Trump, am a combative sybarite.
I have been a participant in a giant scheme to fan the flames of fanaticism into a planet-spanning inferno.
I hereby admit my addiction to Bonapartism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.
Once Pres. Trump realizes that he has a problem, maybe then he'll see that his ultimata are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. And that's it. By next weekend, Pres. Donald J Trump's poison will infect us, sicken us, and destroy us.



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 06:06 PM
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OMG, I put my former boss’ name in there just to see what would come up. I’m retired now. She was kind of a psycho. I laughed so hard, and got a chill up my spine, because some of that was damn close to the truth, LOL!



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 08:08 PM
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a reply to: ChiefD
FANTASTIC!
lmfao, thank you for that.



posted on May, 15 2020 @ 08:26 PM
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originally posted by: chr0naut
a reply to: MykeNukem

He might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't...


Again, is this thing sentient? LOL

We should all have to enter our names just to keep us all humble.


edit on 5/15/2020 by MykeNukem because: sp.







 
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