I betrayed my own inner self as a good healer.

I am ranting at myself here.

Look, here is the deal: for at least a decade, I have considered myself as a mental healer. I have no professional training in that area, but I have seen and heard stuff. I am not in any way lifting myself on podium here, but here are the facts: I am a good listener. Maybe even a great listener. When in a crowd gathering, I observe, I listen. And when I talk, I will not talk just to hear my own voice and love it. I will talk to make a point. In order to help someone. Anyone.

I have done that to the people on the verge of falling into psychosis. Due to alcohol use, substance abuse or because of a death of a parent. I see that it hurts one into the heart if one’s mother or father dies. But It is the natural order of things. This is how generations follow each other.

Now lately, I have learned to know my friend’s new woman. A bit, but at least into some extent. She told me that she had been violently attacked in her former relationship with a man.

I choked.

Not literally, but you know how they say, when you have no words. In my eyes, that kind of stuff is so profoundly wrong… I was unable to provide any words of comfort to her.

Look, I have earlier considered myself as a mental healer. But seems like I have my limitations. And because of this what I told you, I feel hollow.

Thanks for letting me share
-Fin

a reply to: Finspiracy

You are a good soul, Fin. You've had many kind words for me in the past.

I, too, am a giver. There gets a point where you realize the problems of the world are too many and you can only shoulder so much.

The fault is something bigger than any one of us can handle. I have not discerned the lesson yet, but keep pushing that boulder uphill..it makes us strong.

originally posted by: DietWoke
a reply to: Finspiracy

You are a good soul, Fin. You've had many kind words for me in the past.

I, too, am a giver. There gets a point where you realize the problems of the world are too many and you can only shoulder so much.

The fault is something bigger than any one of us can handle. I have not discerned the lesson yet, but keep pushing that boulder uphill..it makes us strong.

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me, they really do...

Good soul? me? that is very much possible. But my words will not say anything. My thoughts do not speak anything. My actions i who i am. Who you are. Every action has a reaction.

Thank you due to your reply. I cried a bit, but they were those emotional, good tears. I am a soft man. Not ashamed of it one bit

a reply to: Finspiracy

I knew a lady, can’t tell them anything, just listen

This might sound strange but someone said to her
“I wish I could go back in time and kill them”
She said it made her feel good inside

So listening helps I am told

Nobody can heal anybody. One can only start their own recovery and that you think you could've said 2-3 sentences that would've done anything, makes me cry, tears of annoyance.

It will take years of building self-esteem, trust and all that. Good that god made you keep your mouth shut, you probably would have made it worse and just reassured her she's a victim.

originally posted by: Finspiracy

Now lately, I have learned to know my friend’s new woman. A bit, but at least into some extent. She told me that she had been violently attacked in her former relationship with a man.

I always say and do nothing to start with in those circumstances other than pay closer attention to both parties.

Keep an eye on your friend for signs of frustration, regret or dissappointment, it is the sign that she may be an instigator seeking apathy for her own lack of control and justification for her own problems in the past regarding relationships.

I hope for both their sakes and yours too that I am wrong, but remind others when I think it may be a good idea from close personal experience.

Not trying to be negative, just realistic. Let us know how they get on eh?

There is buddhist saying, once you call a bird, a bird, you will never see the bird again. Thats because our brain for expediency labels everything. Instead of seeing a being, our brain presents a label representing the being, into our conciousness.

When she said she was abused. Your brain instantly labelled her as a victim. Instead of opening your heart, you let your brain dictate your behaivour. Knowing what our brain does, helps us control it.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Just let her know that if she ever needs anyone to talk to, you'll be there for her. Sometimes just being with someone and listening is enough. Just knowing that people care and that they matter can do a world of good. You are a kind and compassionate man Fin and one I am proud to call 'friend'. We can't always help everyone we meet, but we can help make their world a little brighter, a little better, just by being their friend.

a reply to: Peeple

Words are powerful and carry much love and compassion, exactly what some people need that helps them to heal. It would certainly help to build another's self esteem by being there for them. Knowing Fin, I can't imagine that he would make anything worse, only better.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a compassionate man with a lot of empathy. You were touched by what the lady told you. Even though you felt you didn’t give her comfort, by listening to her and being there, you really did give her comfort. So don’t sell yourself short.

There's a saying, it's not what they say it's the way they say it.

I just made that one up.