How dare you - you stupid kumquats!

I’m feeling spicy this morning. Becoming a grumpy old man ahead of my time. With that - a satirical rant.

Keeping with the recent notifications of mass quarantine, “self isolation”, locking down states and travel, I have to say that people are obviously trying to lead a normal-ish life and they should be ASHAMED of themselves!!

We went to get coffee at the drive through (gasp - the horror!) and stop at the grocery store - yes, I’m sick and twisted like that. I went to store. I’m bad.

While on our brief 45 minute jaunt I witnessed the following horrors that likely will trigger many people:

1. I saw two people talking who knew each other and had to be no more than 3 feet apart. They appeared otherwise healthy and in good spirits. Scoundrels!
2. Two people who appeared to be friends taking a walk outside and they were no more than two feet apart - despite the fact there wasn’t another human for at least 1/4 mile near them. Narcissists!
3. A father holding his wife’s hand and carrying their child in a grocery store - complete morons and he wants his family to die!!!
4. A guy stopped me in the parking lot to talk about my/his car and he was downright polite! He was over 50 and a nice/knowledgeable guy. What in the F was he thinking having pleasant conversation!? What was I thinking when I actually talked to this happy dude - it’s just my way to flip the middle finger to humanity - that’s what I was thinking!!
5. I saw an ENTIRE FAMILY outside with kids riding their bicycles - holy sh!t call HHS!
6. My wife and I made casual conversation with the Starbucks barista and the baristas hand barely touched mine when handing me my drink - holy sh!t time to take a shower and the. bath myself in gasoline to kill everything!
7. Everyone I encountered today were pleasant, happy and encouraging of one another - I even saw a tall get help get something off the shelf for a shorter woman at the store - how DARE that inconsiderate b@stard help another human!!!

This has all gotten nuts and I’m tired of it already. And it’s going to get worse.

DO YOUR PART AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (NOTHING!!!) UNTIL YOUR OVERLORDS TELL YOU ITS OK TO BE A HUMAN AGAIN!

Got it?

This is ridiculous.

/rant

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

Nobody is asking you to go to war, storm beach, or enjoy the Vietnam jungle in summer.


How hard can it be to stay the hell home for a few weeks? Is that really too much to ask to "flatten the curve" of infected so that our healthcare sector can prepare.


My God, the horror, such a great sacrifice you have to make.

I'll see your 5 old kumquats and bet you my 10 new Loquats........

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

That guy doesn’t agree ^^^^

I however found this to brighten my day....

You guys don’t even want to know what goes on at Costco while your all safe in your homes.

But I actually have to work because my wife can’t; and we will lose our house/cars/401k/ future..... but hey what’s all that stuff anyways

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

Hear hear..

Today when i woke up, i was like man, am i still tripping or is the whole planet on some weird Orwellian lockdown.