Covid-19 Community Support and Mental Wellness Thread

originally posted by: nugget1
As I read this thread, I find it somehow comforting, Life goes on, and that is a good thing!

For me, is in neutral right now;my little brother died today. Even though he was in a hot spot, he won't be tested because of preexisting conditions.

He's gone, so it wouldn't matter anyway. Except for statistical purposes.

I am very sorry to hear of your brother's passing.

a reply to: nugget1

He's gone and it does matter. It matters to you.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost someone, no matter what you lost them to. It still hurts like anything to lose a family member, and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all that right now.

a reply to: dawnstar

Eh, I keep dreaming about climbing endless spiral staircases surrounded by the same room that gets more elaborate and rooms full of different strange stacks of dice of all different sizes, shapes, and colors.

Been speaking with my folks ...

We may end up running groceries out through the Kansas Gestappo. They can get some of the fresh things they need from the little local grocery, but all of it. The problem is that Walmart has instituted the social distancing lines. Mom has been doing all the shopping because dad is slightly over 70 and has congestive heart failure, so she only lets him run down to the mailbox (they live in the country).

But mom has arthritis pretty bad. She's had her lower lumber fused and both knees replaced. She can't stand for long periods of time, and she certainly doesn't want to bring it home to dad.

For obvious reasons, the social distancing lines just don't work.

She's tried ordering curbside grocery pickup, but Walmart doesn't sell the fresh stuff they need that way. Apparently, they were running out of stock on some of those items, and people who weren't getting them added in their orders were getting too angry, so they stopped adding fresh produce, milk, etc. (you know, the stuff my folks need).

So she was going to try graveyard senior hour that they do once a week and see if she could manage to get in during that time.

If she can't and the lines stay too long, we may have to buy the things they need up here where our stores still aren't nuts and drive out to meet them halfway or something. Crazy!

Supposedly, we're doing these things to protect the vulnerable people who are older with underlying health conditions, but they're now taking it on the chin in other ways because we're "protecting" them right out of being able to to get things they need.

Local businesses team up to simply donate food as a sideline to taking orders as usual.

A daily feelgood for the day.

He started his business on $160 after being homeless, so he's feeding donated meals back through a local hospital, the Salvation Army, and other similar places where people come in times of need for healing and help.

a reply to: nugget1

Nugget, I am so very sorry for your loss.

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Here i am, shouting my mind out before i go to sleep.

Purely out of self interest.

It will help me to sleep if i vomit this out here.

All of this is really bad, it feels really bad. I was diagnosed as mentally insane to begin with. Now the world around me has gone insane. And therefore, i have no fixed, healthy points to rely onto.

I want, i WANT to be a beacon of light who lifts other suffering ones back to the surface from this mess. And now i do not even have the power to carry myself.

Thanks for letting me share, you beautiful souls.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Just being present and doing things like calling people "beautiful souls" is a light.

originally posted by: toolgal462
Man, I ordered some Manuka honey last week and it tastes like moldy socks.

Is that normal?

It’s a bit pungent lol 😂

originally posted by: nugget1
As I read this thread, I find it somehow comforting, Life goes on, and that is a good thing!

For me, is in neutral right now;my little brother died today. Even though he was in a hot spot, he won't be tested because of preexisting conditions.

He's gone, so it wouldn't matter anyway. Except for statistical purposes.

So sorry.

originally posted by: Finspiracy
Here i am, shouting my mind out before i go to sleep.

Purely out of self interest.

It will help me to sleep if i vomit this out here.

All of this is really bad, it feels really bad. I was diagnosed as mentally insane to begin with. Now the world around me has gone insane. And therefore, i have no fixed, healthy points to rely onto.

I want, i WANT to be a beacon of light who lifts other suffering ones back to the surface from this mess. And now i do not even have the power to carry myself.

Thanks for letting me share, you beautiful souls.

You're doing fine brother! the positive vibes help..even if we don't think so.

Have a laugh everyone.

I am praying for everyone having a hard time right now!

I am actually finding something interesting happening - I got really depressed for a while during the first couple of weeks.

But something happened... I seem to have gotten free of something. Like attachments and dependancies I didn't really know I had!

With those close to me

- My ex who I am divorcing, but found I had an attachment to despite all kinds of abuse. Trauma bonding is a real and pervasive thing!

- With my kids and my friends, needing to be needed by them.

- With my work, needing to win the approval of my superiors and colleagues.

Just basic problems with people pleasing, fear of rejection, fear of failure...

I think the first 3 weeks served as a detox period. I went through withdrawal of sorts. For a moment I felt suicidal. It was a total dark night of the soul!

But then...I started having these epiphanies...like what if I live for me?
What if... I love my self first?
I put myself first and foremost in my priorities?

It was sort of scary to think about...I have no idea how to do that. Never thought that way. From the time I was very little I've been taking care of others and living for them, from my depressed mother, on up.

Guess what?

I seem to be enjoying this now. I close my computer when my hours for the day are done (I'm working from home, and was doing 12 hours a day at first, to respond to everyone elses problems)
If I make a mistake, I am perfectly fine telling my boss - yep missed that. That will happen when you are doing the job normally handled by three people, and totally new and numerous challenges to face with a new system. Hopefully I won't repeat it.But we'll see.

I am eating correctly, going for a run everyday, doing self care, cleaning out closets, making sure my place smells nice and has music playing all the time. I'm sleeping enough. I decided to take up painting - and pleasantly surprised at the results!

I deleted the account of the site where I was rehashing and obsessing over my failed marriage and what went wrong.
I stopped watching tarot readings on Youtube (yeah, it's embarrassing, that had become a bit addictive).

I am feeling much better. It really feels like I've been detoxed. Freed. I hope it isn't a temporary thing, I hope it signals a profound evolution for me.

Before we went into lockdown, I was supposed to start a new managing position in a new center in another town this month. So I guess I will start then whenever we get out.
New job, better salary. I was looking for a home to buy in the new town, and that's on hold, of course, but I'll be able to start a new life when this opens back up.
I'm starting to this as a blessing and much needed re-start.

I hope others who weren't feeling so great have a similar experience, because it feels much better!

Quick puzzler. Did anyone have a problem with their PC time being off lately? Mine was an hour ahead...for what reason I have no idea. It's been on for 15 hours. It's not the battery, and once in Win10 it should be set by the phone home time syncro anyway. I had to go in and sync it manually. Just...a little weird.

a reply to: Bluesma

I am glad to hear you're making some peace with things and finding a groove.

Our kiddo is still fighting it pretty hard. This morning he came out of his bedroom concerned that we needed to prep a bug out bag because he'd had a nightmare that asteroids were coming and they were going to hit the house. I think he's afraid he's lost everything else, and he's going to lose this too.

a reply to: BoscoMoney

Mine was okay, Bosco.

a reply to: BoscoMoney

I've had that happen a handful of times over the past few years and suspect it's a bug with Windows, though I've never bothered to research that assumption.

When it happens here I just go into settings, time and language and then toggle "set time automatically" off and back on and it fixes things.

a reply to: BoscoMoney

Ive been having lots of issues with windows over the past ~6 months. One update totally bricked my computer, and a lot of others. Had to do a fresh OS install just to get up and running again.

Finding info on it now is tricky though. If muh games would all run on Linux, Id never ever look back.

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