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One Hundred Percent Effective Government Approved Corona Virus Protection Instructions

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posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 09:54 AM
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a reply to: carsforkids

Man in a can, I like it.




posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 10:49 AM
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I made it back from the store.

Barely.

I have some sad news for everyone.

Please, sit down with a loved one before you read this.

As I was talking to the checkout lady at the Safeway celebrating my win for getting the last mega-pack of two-ply Charmin from a crippled elderly woman in a walker (I elbowed her in the throat) she said something that caused a shock throughout the crowd.

She said. . .. *choking back the tears*.. . . . . she said that the liquor stores were going to be out next.



posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 10:53 AM
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a reply to: DBCowboy



she said that the liquor stores were going to be out next

who does the liquor anymore in oregon?
won't the thc beat the covid19s ass?



posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 10:55 AM
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a reply to: shooterbrody

Yes, yes booze is the cure!



posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 10:57 AM
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a reply to: DBCowboy
no
robert smith is the cure



posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 11:59 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
She said. . .. *choking back the tears*.. . . . . she said that the liquor stores were going to be out next.


I already visited mine, Mr. Ski Mask and Mr. Rifle made this a fairly inexpensive excursion.



posted on Mar, 13 2020 @ 12:04 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Don't forget you can get a hard hat and sneak on construction
sites to steal the toilet paper out the crappers. Construction
workers don't use them anyway. lol



posted on Mar, 14 2020 @ 12:17 AM
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The level of delusion in this post is astounding. We don't want this disease to spread. Why is that so hard to understand? You liberty doesn't mean # in an epidemic.


originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
 


This is not a joke. This is the only, 100% foolproof method of not getting the Corona Virus. Hell, it's also a 100% foolproof method of not getting any virus, plague, disease or receive personal offence from anyone, ever. For real.

The world is out of it's mind, people applauding governments from taking away your liberty and freedoms. Now, I caution you, this method is extreme, but if you are of the government-bootlicking variety or just paranoid to all get out, this will 100% work. I know whenever members of this venerable site see anything listed as '100% proof' there is a righteous and correct healthy dose of skepticism. But I dare you to prove me wrong.

Here is the simple four step process to never, ever in your entire life get ill:
    [1]Go here:


    [2]Buy one of these:


    [3]Only keep this part:


    [4]Climb into it like one of these and live worry free:


Only by living as a veal can you ever be 100% sure of not getting the Corona Virus from your horribly diseased neighbors or coworkers. The government may or may not tell you or force you to remain home. You should do as they say since they know better than anyone. Never, ever question their methods since they have never overreacted to any situation ever and always have your best interests at heart.

If you employ my 100% foolproof method of virus prevention I won't be pleased with you but, hey, it's your life. But when you live to be 100 send me a fruit basket for helping you reach that ripe old age in fearful solitude. You're welcome.

 







posted on Mar, 14 2020 @ 08:04 AM
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originally posted by: Bearmonger
The level of delusion in this post is astounding.


What's delusional about it? If you live inside a box in your house and avoid all human contact will you or will you not get the virus? It's a simple question.


We don't want this disease to spread. Why is that so hard to understand? You liberty doesn't mean # in an epidemic.


People like you are the problem, ceding liberty to the government over fear.



posted on Mar, 15 2020 @ 03:13 PM
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Forsythia works too..



posted on Mar, 15 2020 @ 04:26 PM
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a reply to: BastogneFoxHole

Where's the fun in that?



posted on Mar, 15 2020 @ 04:29 PM
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a reply to: Bearmonger

Ummm. . . . . liberty isn't something you can turn on/off like a light switch every time a bug gets loose from China.



posted on Mar, 15 2020 @ 06:37 PM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: BastogneFoxHole

Where's the fun in that?


Hey, it worked in Contagion..



posted on Mar, 16 2020 @ 06:50 AM
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originally posted by: BastogneFoxHole
Hey, it worked in Contagion..


A fine documentary, I'm all for it then...



posted on Mar, 16 2020 @ 06:51 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
Ummm. . . . . liberty isn't something you can turn on/off like a light switch every time a bug gets loose from China.


What if I'm an askeert wuss and I need the government to make me safe?



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