One Hundred Percent Effective Government Approved Corona Virus Protection Instructions

originally posted by: toolgal462
meh, elitist....most of us cannot afford sub zero fridge

Bummer, it's keeps my veal people at the perfect temp when frozen.

originally posted by: Boadicea
...but I've learned that in a health crisis, you don't do anything for yourself. You have to let everyone else take care of your needs....

I'm glad you appreciate the value of having the government manage the more serious aspects of your life.

originally posted by: toolgal462
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

meh, elitist....most of us cannot afford sub zero fridge

True, I had to make my veal box out of discarded walmart toilet paper boxes.

originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: Boadicea

Just cover the whole thing in toilet paper, inside and out. Three plies thick.

WuFlu can't penetrate toilet paper.

Oh awesome! I'm adding it to my shopping list... three plies thick... got it. Thanks for the tip!!!

Me thinks I just might live forever now

I'd discard the box and climb inside the fridge.

I mean, it has a very nice airtight seal. Good place to nap.

^ Another smart citizen.

In 45 days we will look back on this panic and laugh about it. Warm weather is coming.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

What liberty and freedoms the government is taking away?

Which government? This one only?

originally posted by: Trueman
What liberty and freedoms the government is taking away?

The freedom to conduct your life as you see fit.

Which government? This one only?

The only one I care about is this one since I live here.

originally posted by: Nickn3
In 45 days we will look back on this panic and laugh about it. Warm weather is coming.

Don't laugh too loud, the echo in refrigerator boxes can be awful.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: JinMI

It's over, bro, there's bigger things to worry about like how to let the government manage your life. Get with the virus scare program.

But I already moved out to the country.

I dont go where there are crowds.

Rarely see or am around anyone outside of my family.

Hands always washed.


I cant see the legitimacy of the scare tactics

Okay, I have a half full flight from Pittsburgh back to New Jersey that's about to takeoff, if the other passengers don't kill me for coughing on them I'll reply to your posts later.

originally posted by: caterpillage
Only true fool proof way to avoid getting sick is to die.

Bravissimo.
You nailed it.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

Okay, I have a half full flight from Pittsburgh back to New Jersey that's about to takeoff, if the other passengers don't kill me for coughing on them I'll reply to your posts later.

RIP

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

 

This is not a joke. This is the only, 100% foolproof method of not getting the Corona Virus. Hell, it's also a 100% foolproof method of not getting any virus, plague, disease or receive personal offence from anyone, ever. For real.

The world is out of it's mind, people applauding governments from taking away your liberty and freedoms. Now, I caution you, this method is extreme, but if you are of the government-bootlicking variety or just paranoid to all get out, this will 100% work. I know whenever members of this venerable site see anything listed as '100% proof' there is a righteous and correct healthy dose of skepticism. But I dare you to prove me wrong.

[...]

Wait, you guys don’t live in a box?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Trueman
What liberty and freedoms the government is taking away?

The freedom to conduct your life as you see fit.

Which government? This one only?

The only one I care about is this one since I live here.

We never had that freedom.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: operation mindcrime
If only I would have I would have had this info a couple of weeks ago...Us Europeans are already beyond savior and I started digging holes in the gardens to place my loved ones in when (not if!) we die an excruciating death.

Europe has always lagged behind us in virus paranoia which is why we justifiably ended travel with your diseased nations.

I have just spat on my tactile screen...

Take that 🤪🤪

I wonder if Lyme disease and the Corona Virus would taste good together.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: toolgal462
meh, elitist....most of us cannot afford sub zero fridge

Bummer, it's keeps my veal people at the perfect temp when frozen.

And using the fridge AND box at the same time, everything's REvealed.
Sorry Augie, I had to second the commotion.
Wow, and my fridge is only a KitchenAIDS about 12 years old...
but it's big enough for a Zionist dentist with a Twinkie and Stroh's habit.
Flag and spar, right in the kissa.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

Okay, I have a half full flight from Pittsburgh back to New Jersey that's about to takeoff, if the other passengers don't kill me for coughing on them I'll reply to your posts later.

You can speak Klingon to disguise your coughing.

Steal the toilet paper from plane's restrooms.