Yeah yeah yeah, I know we're supposed to be running around pissing our pants about the new pox du jour that's now reached our shores from some
craphole in Asia. (A situation that's becoming all too common and making me long for the days of my childhood just a couple of decades ago when China
was still viewed through glasses tinted by fu manchus, mysteries of the Orient, and a juvenile belief that every Chinese village had at least one
actual dragon living in a pagoda surrounded by old men practicing kung fu 24/7. Perhaps Nixon really did get the last laugh, throwing open the doors
to a market that probably would have served the world far better if kept locked up, but I digress...)
So Coronavirus, Covid-19, China Pox, Peking Pestilence, the Wu Flu, whatever people wish to call it has become our distraction of the week. It
started distracting us from politics. With the Democrats taking just a brief moment from their incessant 3 and a half year bitch and whine festival
and never ending witch hunts to actually take notice of the first non-imaginary thing that's caught their eye in years, a virus. OK, many of us
dropped the ball and didn't anticipate that when that shiny thing caught their eye, they'd quickly grasp it and weave it into their Quilt of
Never-ending Malaise and try to use it against the GOP because: losing an election in 2016 is hard to handle, STILL. But we did drop the ball and we
underestimated their desperation and the levels of suck to which their merry little band of misfits, idjits, and losers running for POTUS would
dredge, that actually happened and we shant be cleaning those piles off the carpet anytime soon. When SNIP got real, however, was when the
Republicans allowed this virus to distract them from the actual underlying purpose of governments to begin with: securing their peoples' ability to
make money hand over fist. (Yeah, sorry SJWs and other people more likely to wax poetic about the unfairness of life than actually stoop at the waist
and do work to earn their pocket jingle, government doesn't exist to give you a bottle and wipe your little tushy for you, it exists to ensure 3
things are not effed with: Freedom, Commerce, and secure the country against enemies foreign and (looking at you, Comrade Sanders) domestic). Come
the eff on, Conservatives! Now is the time to show those balls, let them swing proudly, instilling fear and feelings of insecurity in male liberals
while forcing their women to hear the feminine lamentations of their own men while swooning over our right swinging grapefruit-sized metaphorical
gonads. Prepare you house against chaos, then set your eyes on Wall Street and realize the following list is ALL you need to set your eyeballs
Average Deaths per Day from Various Ailments, Accidents, and Assorted Asshatteries
MR. 305 WORLDWIDE STYLE
]Top 10 Causes of Death[/url]
150,000 people die per day on this spinning hell of a planet. That number includes...
49,000 deaths per day from cardiovascular disease
26,000 cancer deaths per day
18,000 upper/lower respirator deaths per day
6,900 Dementia deaths per day
6,5000 deaths per day from digestive disease
4,900 deaths per day from neonatal complications
4,300 deaths per day from diarrhea... yep, 4300 people crap themselves to death per day in this world.
3,700 deaths per day from diabetes
3,600 deaths per day from liver disease
3,400 deaths per day from car accidents
3,400 deaths per day from kidney failure/renal disease
3,200 deaths per day from tuberculosis... Yep, TB... WTF is this, Tombstone in the 1900s? TB is still a thing, apparently. Who knew (aside from,
well, apparently the WHO)?
Since mid January, when this really got going, we've seen 3,168 deaths recorded from Covid-19. The above list has a dozen ailments that take more
lives in a single day than this little bitch of a virus has claimed in nearly 2 months... where is the pandemonium in the stock market over the AIDS
(which still claims 2,800 lives per day)? Why have investors not sold their entire portfolios at a 95% loss due to drownings (2,400 deaths per day)?
Holy God, where is Wall Street's sanity to have been trading as normal weeks ago knowing that Hepatitis is out there (at 350 deaths per day, over the
course of Covid's 7 weeks we'd already have 17,000 bodies rotting and waiting cremation (or clumsy interment in our Islamic friends' nations)? King
County, WA average
Suicides per year
... that means in the 6 days since what they're
considering the first Coronavirus death
and today when they reported the 8th King County death, 4 people have killed themselves in King County, WA.
To the investors: Wake up, grow up, or GTFO of the way for people who realize that once we address future supply issues, this market has legs and want
to run, baby.
To those afraid: Unless you're one of those who lose weeks of sleep over finding an odd mole on your pelvis or spend your summer days worried you're
diabetic because you have dry mouth after sweating in the sun, there is no reason to treat this with the levels of fear we're seeing. Prepare your
homes, yes, absolutely. Buy a goddamned lifetime supply of toilet paper if you are so compelled, as we all know in the apocalypse a clean anus is
worth it's weight in gold... but aside from those common sense preparations, what's fear getting you other than lost sleep and a sense of grave
To the virus itself: If you're reading this, well... first of all, if you're reading this then it means you've mutated impressively and we've got
much greater concerns than the stock market and shiny anuses so well wiped one could eat off of them, but if you're reading this, bring it, bitch.
You think you're bad ass, please, go square up with car accidents or neonatal complications and see if there's anything left of you before you come
knocking for a title shot, poser. Go big or go TF back to the Chinese lab you snuck out of on a half eaten takeout box of kung pao chicken.
edit on 3-3-2020 by burdman30ott6 because: (no reason given)