Being subjected to physical and mental abuse.

a reply to: dfnj2015

Just a warning to anyone that checks out his recommended book...it is full of cutting up Trump and liberal ideology. Just beware because you know who you are dealing with and might get more pissed off than helped.

a reply to: DiddyC

Sounds like my ex-wife was. She changed after one drink, turned into a bitch. We went through a divorce and before we did, we went to counceling, the councelor called her while I was there, questioned her about something and she came unhinged at him. I could hear the yelling on the other side of the office coming from the phone. He then told me I should think this over and leave her, there was something wrong with her.

seven years and two new husbands later she was diagnosed with skitzo and bi-polar disorder, she has been drugged and shocked many times since then.

I can't tell you what to do, and I can't say that your old lady has any of the mental diseases as mine had. I could not live with mine, we had a daughter together too. I got married to another woman I met a couple of years later and we have been married for thirty five or more years now. I get along with my ex, we have our daughter and grandkids in common yet, but I try to avoid her other than stuff like Christmas dinners and things like that. I also told my present wife she is NOT allowed to die before me because my Ex will start bugging me. She laughs but knows it is true, she even stated it would probably happen. My present wife does go to the restaurant occasionally with my Ex but says my ex's mental issues will not rub off on her. I sure hope they don't.

originally posted by: DiddyC
a reply to: strongfp

Yes and she says she's gonna stop but I don't know. She's not a bad person, her mums just recently died and the relationship between them wasn't great and she didn't get no closure from that, I need to know how to help her.. sorry about putting this out there but what do I do .

Zhe has to want to help herself, if that isn't in place nothing you do will help her.

2nd there is no "ill try to quit" when abuse is involved, it either happens or you walk.

3. She needs counseling for herself by herself

4. As a victim you should do the same, and it might help you w your own headspace. You might get into it and realize, nope this isn't what I want in a relationship.

5. Set the boundaries w no negotiating

a reply to: DiddyC
Careful Butty, be mindful.
My ex is Scots and bat# crazy.
Funny, I'm sat in the Pub where she had a meltdown previously.
Look forward to the PM.

a reply to: DiddyC

Is her name Beyonce?

All kidding aside, some people can handle a drink and some can't. Those that can't need help.
It's up to you to decide if she is worth sticking out for?
Some people never get better.

a reply to: DiddyC
What happened in her past that she fells the need to escape and vent? Was she abused as a child?
Is she angry at herself or someone in her past. I don't know if you are agnostic or not you might try praying about the situation one caution though you may love her but you can't fix her.

a reply to: DiddyC

I see you received some good help in here. Just came in to say that I wish you and your Lady all the best.
Keep us posted.

Here is a pic for your Lady.

originally posted by: DiddyC
Gotta go we're gonna talk thank you my brothers and sisters, knew I'd get some good advice from you guys♥️

Give her all the support you can, and that she needs but bottom line she has to

know that only she can do it for herself



Like ^^^JON666^^^^ said..........

*one caution though you may love her but you can't fix her*......


GOOD LUCK!!

a reply to: DiddyC

Perhaps get a group of friends together and form a prayer circle around her. Some of the more fundamentalist religious types think you can "pray the gay away" .... Perhaps that method can work for other personal problems as well.

It's worth a shot.

originally posted by: olaru12
a reply to: DiddyC

Perhaps get a group of friends together and form a prayer circle around her. Some of the more fundamentalist religious types think you can "pray the gay away" .... Perhaps that method can work for other personal problems as well.

It's worth a shot.

The power of intention is real. If you really want to fix something you can pray or meditate and work to make the behavior change. I am not religious, but I do believe their are forces in the universe that can be harnessed for our benefit.

a reply to: DiddyC

Just to add my two cents. I think it was quickly mentioned here the rehab. I know there are some special departments in certain hospitals where they treat patients with addiction. The alcohol treatment could be about 1 week long and the patients are given medication+mental care during that period.

Just to give an idea on the kind of the facility I'm talking about, there's this hospital in Paramus, New Jersey.

New Hope Integrated Behavioral Health Care -- dedicated to the treatment of adults and adolescents affected with alcohol, drug, gambling and other co-occurring mental health disorders.

So just look for some kind of similar rehab centers/hospitals in your area. Ultimately it'd depend on your friend's will, the whole recovery process.

I'm sorry for your situation.
First off, if she just lost her mother it really sounds like she could use some counseling... Learn how to grieve and mourn without the crutch of the alcohol..
If this is something that has just started or has escalated I suggest get her to go talk to a counselor and maybe you join her to give her strength.
I've been where you6at from both sides.. We all struggle sometimes.
Peace and Good luck

As someone else posted : counseling .
But it absolutely has to be voluntary and agreed upon by both parties.
And , it takes the patience of Job.
I know .
I have been there , done that , and got the scars and the T-Shirt to prove it.(seriously this time)

Now it has been almost 35 years of a wonderful relationship with my wife.

I wish you and yours the best.
Goth.

It could be a black out type of reaction to the alcohol. When someone drinks enough to blackout, their conscious mind is out to lunch so they go on auto-pilot with their subconscious. The now freed subconscious is all about repressed emotions, that's why some become happy drunks while others become overly sexual or filled with anger and lashing out with violence. I've been there enough times myself and have seen it in others.

A person drunk enough to blackout that is causing problems cannot be reasoned with and kicking their ass isn't going to help either. A bucket of cold water might snap them out of it, or it might make it worse. Dealing with a person in that condition is tricky if they are becoming violent.

Perhaps if you can record one of these incidents and show her it after she is sober, it may get her to change. An intervention of some kind seems necessary if you think it will make things any better.

Anyway, I wish you the best and hope your situation resolves itself in a way that everyone has better lives for the outcome.

originally posted by: olaru12
a reply to: DiddyC

Perhaps get a group of friends together and form a prayer circle around her. Some of the more fundamentalist religious types think you can "pray the gay away" .... Perhaps that method can work for other personal problems as well.

It's worth a shot.

Wow your extreme bias of religion even showed its ugly face in a thread that had nothing to do with it

Found a way didn't ya

Bravo

a reply to: DiddyC One kind of has to make up their own mind as liquor starts as a mental craving,to a physical addiction,then become a real problem,those who act out when drunk,are just displaying thoughts they otherwise wouldn't act upon from fear so sometimes disquise their true feelings with liquor