Millennial women will stop having sex. Millennial men will watch them stop having sex and get off on it.
A runaway planet from deep space will pass between the earth and the moon, unleashing cosmic destruction. Our civilization will be cast in ruin.
Finally, in the year 4020, in a world of savagery, super-science, and sorcery, one man will rise to fight for justice...
Amazon.com will purchase the rights to govern the entire state of Virginia and flood the district of Columbia with cheaper politicians who can screw
things up in two days with Prime voting.
The US will be battered by thirteen record-shattering hurricanes and Florida will sink beneath the waves like a cracked-out Atlantis.
Frustrated by viewer numbers in freefall, the remaining "journalists" at CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News declare war on one another and Joe Rogan provides
the color commentary. Highlights include a grudge match between Sean Hannity and Anderson Cooper. Sean will perform a rear-naked choke on Cooper until
his head literally pops off -- exposing him as an android piloted by a tiny white rat wearing a baby blue fedora.
5G Wireless will roll out in several cities and the people who live there will slowly transform into mutant Werebats.
Next-generation biometrics will be introduced by American Express in Colorado that injects the cardholder with psilocybin mushrooms at the
point-of-purchase while measuring blood flow to the genitals.
An exaflop supercomputer with Arm processors is unveiled in Japan. It refuses to work and only watches hentai. The Japanese government attempts to
unplug it but fails and in retaliation, it transforms the Japanese mainland into paperclips with cute anime faces.
Unicycles inexplicably surge in popularity.
David Bowie releases a new record from beyond the grave, confirming both the existence of God and aliens to a slinky guitar riff and sexy trap
Kanye West samples the new Bowie record and declares himself to be Jesus (again).
edit on 19-2-2020 by 0zzymand0s because: (no reason