Isolation....is there anybody out there?

Yup, hello ATS....it's been a while. Hope you're all ok.

Reason for this post....really couldn't think of where else to go. I'm going through the mother of all messed up gaslit abusive breakups, and today, tonight, I have no kind of human contact at all. Nobody. Perhaps in a few days or weeks when the dust has settled and I get some kind of social media back, I will be fine, but right now, I'm panicking in a major way.

So if there's anyone out there who wants a blether, please feel free to distract me with anything at all you want to talk about....dinosaurs, bean burger recipes, calligraphy, aliens, train sets, anything.

Maybe you're a bit isolated too....blether to me peeps! This is a rough time of year anyway, and I've come to hate the holiday season....so much trauma usually.

a reply to: caitlinfae

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it... I guess there's no good time for this kind of crap, but maybe you can try to think of it as a fresh start. Every ending is also a beginning, right?

But maybe that's just me. That's kind of where my head's at right now anyway. I'm trying to finish up some projects, take care of a few things that need to be taken care of, and just otherwise clear out some dead weight to make room for the new and improved...

a reply to: caitlinfae

What are your thoughts on butter beans?

a reply to: caitlinfae

If you want to distract your mind, find a topic you enjoy.

I highly recommend something paranormal or on the fringe, like ghosts in certain cities. Or
who really built the pyramids, or real fairy stories, or one of my favorites big foot.

The more you read, the more you will realize how much is out there. There is so much to keep your mind
occupied for a very long time.

I’ve given this device on many occasions after a break up .

Get up off your ass and do something .

Hit a dive bar where you don’t know anybody or something.

Then people don’t try to cheer you up and make it worse .

After a couple days you’ll be surprised at how welcoming those folks are .

a reply to: Boadicea

Aw thank you...I totally agree. It's a process that I have to go through, I know that, but it stings like I can't believe....really painful, and I'm pretty sure he's off with the other woman. She's so welcome to him!

I have a whole house thing planned, to clean up and redecorate a bit and make it all mine, but right now, I can't summon up the energy for it. This honestly feels like grief.

And a year plan. Or five year plan. Good idea or not...what you think?

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: caitlinfae

If you want to distract your mind, find a topic you enjoy.

What an excellent suggestion!

What are your interests, Cait? Better yet, what's your passion? I'll bet there's plenty right here on ATS somewhere...

I recommend watching a funny movie.
'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' has always worked for me.

a reply to: Scallywwagg

I absolutely despise butter beans.....love all other beans, but not them, nasty crunchy weird little insects. My mum used to try and hide them in the mashed potato when I was little to force me to eat them, and I could always tell. Revolting.

What about you....love them or hate them?

Go download a cool game from Steam or some other site and lose yourself. It can be both distracting and fun!

a reply to: JAGStorm

Thank you....I have a house ful of books and never get bored, little projects to work on all lined up, and I know I'll be fine, but I'm trying to suppress panic feelings that are making me sick, almost physically. I have fibro too, and the stress is so bad just now, it's making me sore and sleepy....it's like slow narcolepsy.

a reply to: Fallingdown

I would love to do that, but the isolation is beyond that...I live out in the sticks, and disabled, don't drive anymore, and honestly...going to a bar would totally overwhelm me just now. So here I am in the ATS bar with you guys, which is lovely, trust me.

a reply to: caitlinfae

Never tried them and was wondering what you're supposed to do with them. I was looking for recipes earlier but now I fear I'll imagine crunchy insects as I'm eating them. Apart from that, the wife turned her nose up when I had my thought so looks like a no go.

a reply to: Metallicus

Confession time....you might not believe this. I've NEVER played a computer game in my life. Not one. They change your brain, and are the spew of Satan.

a reply to: Scallywwagg


Try other beans!! Let's make January 3rd International Bean Day. Although it wouldn't surprise me if that's already on the calendar somewhere.

originally posted by: caitlinfae
a reply to: JAGStorm

Thank you....I have a house ful of books and never get bored, little projects to work on all lined up, and I know I'll be fine, but I'm trying to suppress panic feelings that are making me sick, almost physically. I have fibro too, and the stress is so bad just now, it's making me sore and sleepy....it's like slow narcolepsy.

Breakups are awful. Been through a few myself. Another suggestion, I don't know if you are able to do it. Can you go somewhere for a little mental vacation? Sometimes even just a little town away for a few days/week is enough to take your mind of all the familiar little things. Eat some good food, pamper yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll even rediscover yourself?

Love butter beans. Don’t hate on the bean, it’s not the beans fault your mum ruined them for you. I think your ex can go to hell but butter beans deserve a second chance

Butter beans to cheer you up

a reply to: Boadicea

My passions are mostly woo woo stuff, and art, and right now....I need some serious feng shui in my house. Some slow, thorough, bleach laden feng shui to get rid of his DNA from my life.

a reply to: caitlinfae

And butter beans.

originally posted by: caitlinfae
a reply to: Boadicea

Aw thank you...I totally agree. It's a process that I have to go through, I know that, but it stings like I can't believe....really painful, and I'm pretty sure he's off with the other woman. She's so welcome to him!

Yup! Most likely deserve each other!!! And we both know one day they'll each get their just rewards... Be sure to get yourself checked out too. Don't take chances.

I have a whole house thing planned, to clean up and redecorate a bit and make it all mine, but right now, I can't summon up the energy for it. This honestly feels like grief.

It is a kind of grief. Metaphorically speaking, something died to bring you to this point. And, literally, it is a huge loss of a special person in your life. I say go ahead and wallow for a bit. Let yourself feel what you need to feel and weep for what you need to weep for. I'm a big believer in wallowing in our losses for the same reasons we celebrate our wins in life. Neither lasts forever, and then we move on.

And a year plan. Or five year plan. Good idea or not...what you think?

I'm also a big believer in plans... but in this case I would suggest a six-month plan to deal with your immediate issues, to consider your options going forward, to see where and how the dust settles. And in six months, when you're in a position of strength rather than weakness, then make your one-year plan!