When Everyone Is Special - Nobody Is

a reply to: Nyiah

Star Trek had an episode that dealt with a situation very much like those that I have mentioned. A crew member they jokingly called Lt. Broccoli, had a issue with separating reality from fantasy. It became a problem for all involved.

There is nothing wrong with having a child strive for their best. The problem comes when you make that best unachievable. There is something wrong with making them think that ordinary or having a disability makes them less than or deficient.

All creatures of value don't have wings, and even those with wings, not all of them fly. I hear what you are saying and I so agree that children need to be encouraged and supported, along their journey in life. I also agree that that push was a bit gentler in the past.

It is truly a different time, a different age, a different medium, and it is causing a far more treacherous path for them to maneuver.

a reply to: Sheye

Even back when cartoons where fairly simplistic, and we won't talk about the corny special effects, many young people thought they could do the impossible, and a many fell victim to broken bones. Who would have thought the day would come that we would think their attempts were not so bad. We didn't see what was coming. We read about it, but is was science fiction, and few thought the day would really come that there would be real hollowdeck technology. Not at least in our life time.

The level of believability of today's CGI takes it to a whole new level.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

The level of believability of today's CGI takes it to a whole new level.

So true.. but from reading the comments on this particular tweet it seems to be a thing with the younger generation to commit daring acts and the boy standing is particularly known for them. It’s not all CGI, though I wouldn’t be surprised this one is.. just too high.

What I’d like to understand is what makes the younger generation want to stand out in such a silly exemplary way ? What drives them to climb walls and jump from one to the other ? I don’t get how this serves your community. At least super heroes had a cause that helped mankind.

a reply to: Sheye

What I’d like to understand is what makes the younger generation want to stand out in such a silly exemplary way ? What drives them to climb walls and jump from one to the other ?

I think they haven't really thought it through.

In their attempt to be different, to be better than, they often end up lumping themselves in the same category as what is expected and ordinary for those in their group.

They are children. We can't expect them to have mature thoughts and behavior. Look around, some of us really are not setting very good examples.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

They are children. We can't expect them to have mature thoughts and behavior. Look around, some of us really are not setting very good examples.

Some are beyond the age of childhood now and it’s time to set a better example for the younger ones... but I agree..on a whole the majority of adults on this planet are dysfunctional and are terrible role models...but I’m not so sure super heroes have them beat.😆

a reply to: Nyiah

It is a point of view that impacts us in that it inspires anyone with enough stones to push back against those willing to scowl & bash stepping out of that clone line and be something/someone better.

Being ordinary is not being a clone and if you think you are ‘better’ than the average grunt working an assembly line because you were ‘inspired’ by tv shows to go after a dream makes you a rather shallow person IMO. I honestly admire hardworking , lower class workers. Their tenacity is inspiring to me... much more than a snobby ‘look at how successful I am’ type of person.
Yes, it’s great to follow dreams and aspirations but remember this whole society would crumble if everyone had their ‘dream’ job and there was nobody to take care of all the ‘ordinary’ stuff.

According to some well respected scientists, to be classed as"special" you need to have been blessed with extra chromosomes, or have some other rare superhuman ability, such as parkinsons disease.

a reply to: Coagula

If you use Parkinson's as an example. I am sure with a little imagination, a geneticist can find something in every person's DNA that would make the individual special. Maybe even not being able to find one abnormality, would classify as special.

All joking aside. This obsession with being special, has to come from somewhere, and the continuation, along with what looks an increase in the pushing of the trend, seems to lean toward a deeper reason.

I see it in the schools. I know three children very well, that were pushed into the gifted program. The only gift I could see they had, were parents that were financially able to pay for the position, and were willing to make enough noise to get them in.

All three where fine boys that not only didn't want the stress and the extra weight, I think it held them back from finding out what they really want out of life. They don't seem like the same happy people anymore. One graduated and left home right away, and has not been back in three years. The other one graduated, is in college and has no idea what he wants to do, but is still trying to please his father, and is terrified that he will fail him if he doesn't keep his label as gifted. The youngest one just got placed in the gifted program and is struggling like crazy to keep up. His mother is so very helpful with this, sometimes, maybe a little too helpful.

I realize it is not the same for all people, but I see nothing wrong with building a child from the foundation where they stand. There is no reason they can't build level on on level beyond the clouds, the sky doesn't even have to be their limit. A strong, healthy, secure, ordinary, foundation can yield many things, and it is okay if all those things are not extraordinary.

In my opinion.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

What is our obsession with being "special? Why is it considered an anathema just to be exactly the way we are?

I don't know but I'll tell you a weird thing.
I have zero tattoos, no weird piercings, don't dye my hair,
don't do drugs, and rarely drink.

That might sound plain, but in fact I have discovered those qualities & features are exceptionally rare these days.

a reply to: JAGStorm

You are right tattoos, piercings, drugs, and alcohol, are extremely common.

The things that disturbs me the most about this type of trending, is that a large number of young people are on prescription psychotropic and antidepressant drugs. Society's solution to a created problem is a pill. Our children deserve better.

In a time when children have more than any generation before them, they feel the most hopeless, and the most depressed. I think our society's encouraging of fantasy laden virtual world interactions plays a huge part in the problem.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
Let me start by saying that this is purely a crazy thought that just popped in my head while watching a scene in the TV series "Witcher". My sister-in-law, God love her, is hooked on anything that has to do with a magical realm. During the episode, they spoke of witches against humans. I had never given any real thought to it before, but I always thought of witches as being humans that had either tripped up on some special knowledge, or one that was born into the art. All of it make believe and no chance of being real. I still do.

You can't prove it's make believe. And I can't prove it's real. The thing is if you google "quantum mechanics debunks materialism" it is not exactly clear or straight forward we live in a known Universe. The current standard model of physics is most likely inaccurate and incomplete.

I think you saying "no chance of being real" may be wrong. Nobody knows or fully understands the razor's edge between consciousness and reality. Most philosophical materialist deny consciousness even exists or is a delusion. But reality seems real to me and there certainly could be a way to manipulate reality through consciousness.

Consider the following two videos on the possibility of magic being real:





It's a bit far fetched but maybe not impossible.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
So why am I writing this thread? Because last night I saw a commercial that made me ask myself the same question. What is our obsession with being "special? Why is it considered an anathema just to be exactly the way we are? This constant push to be something or someone else, can't be healthy for the psyche or for society as a whole. The number of children stories, movies, programs, all focus on an ordinary child having secret or hidden magical or super human powers, are everywhere. Why do so many people push for their child to be labeled as "gifted"?

Everyone wants their children to have better opportunities in life than their parents. Open doors versus close doors kind of thing.

People want to have meaning in their lives. People who study commonalities in all the World religions have found one story that keeps repeating in practically every culture. Joseph Campbell wrote a book on it called, "Hero with a Thousand Faces."

Here's a really good video on the material. The claim or realization is EVERY story we consider "good" or "meaningful" is this ONE story. This one common theme:

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn

I believe it started out with the right idea, but it got lost somewhere along the way. Instead of leading children to understand that they should embrace who they are, they are making children unsatisfied with who they are, and have them chasing some magical power or gift that remains elusive, because it does not exist the way their mind wants it to be.

I have nothing against fairy tales, stories about magic and special powers. I just think, like everything else in this world, it needs to be balanced. Before the "Internet of Everything", we had to use our imagination to bring to life what we read. So in a way everything was pretty much individually and custom made for our own needs and understanding. With CGI so real that even the experts have trouble telling what is CGI or not, the impressionable minds of our children, can become overwhelmed, confused, and unfortunately fractured.

Children have enough on their plate and this virtual world that they have embraced, is not a magical realm where they can live happily ever after, and their quest for their hidden self, may not yield powers that are not available to everyone else on this planet. I think we may be setting them up if we don't encourage balance into their world, even if it means ripping away the curtain that shields them from reality.

The children are just fine the way they are. There's nothing wrong. I think you are suffering from some level of pareidolia with regards to something being wrong. The young people I work with are brilliant and terrific. They are just as good as any previous generation.

If children are given a supportive environment having all their needs met and properly encouraged to shine they will shine!

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
a reply to: Coagula

If you use Parkinson's as an example. I am sure with a little imagination, a geneticist can find something in every person's DNA that would make the individual special. Maybe even not being able to find one abnormality, would classify as special.

Molecular biology for the most part has been a complete and total failure. So many unfulfilled promises. Here's a really good video commenting on and explaining why molecular biology has failed



Genes are only a small part of the story. All genes do is sequence proteins. Form and timing does not apparently come from genes alone. The science of biology is in a philosophical materialist reductionist rut. It's going to no where slow.

It seems pretty hypocritical to be fine with parents lying to their children about Santa, the tooth fairy and one million things without being worried about what effect that might have on their psyche and blaming a medium for entertainment and fiction for everything bad in the world.

And besides we're heading towards a world we will control with our thoughts, brain linked AI in every piece of technology around us. Even if that wouldn't be so magic is in everything we do, we focus our thoughts on it and make it happen all the time. Sure without special effects but I would like to assume kids who grow up with technology know how to make their own.

To your title, which oddly seems to have nothing to do with your OP, everybody is an individual = special and because that's the case we're all equal. But some achieve more because they're blessed to find their talents and support from the right people at the right time.

I think I've pretty much read all the posts on this thread, and I'm pretty surprised you all have talked all around it, but not said it directly. (I might have missed it though)

If you want to understand the fundamental issue, you need look no further than 'participation trophies'. Games with no losers, it's not reality. And when kids grow up in world which isn't reality they can't adjust to a world where there really are winners and losers so they need to be medicated. Medicated to deal with reality.

Just look at all the examples of young people carrying out these mass shootings. They're generally right at the age where the fantasy of their childhood has ended and the realities of being an adult have set in. And BOOM, they snap.

If you want to find something disturbing, I'll tell you something really disturbing. It doesn't bother me that things like CGI exists in movies and shows, I can choose not to watch these things (and I don't). But what does bother me is the ever increasing median age where people are interested in cartoons and fantasy content / games. Used to be kids were pretty well over this stuff by about the age of 12 or so. Now that median age has crept up into the late 20's and even mid 30's. Hell, it might be even higher than this, all the way up into their 40's and beyond! It's like people just stopped growing up at some point. Just look around you at what today's youth gets all worked up over; it's childish stuff.

I attribute a lot of this to parenting, but society is to blame as well. You know, there's a reason for the many sayings you hear lately about kids living in their Mom's basement into their 30's...because it's real! It exists, else there wouldn't be sayings about it. Honestly, this is a hell of a lot more troubling to me than CGI in movies and witches and things. It's like the natural act of maturing and becoming an adult just stopped back in the 90's somewhere. Now young people can just exist in a state of perpetual childhood, and society just lets it happen! THAT's scary!

Another poster mentioned their concern when they hear a young person say they aspire to become a social media 'influencer' when they grow up. I share that concern too. What happened to wanting to grow up to become president, or an astronaut, or scientist?? Now it's...I wanna grow up to be a PooToob star????? An Insta-FAIL "influencer"???? REALLY???

**THUD!**

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

If you want to understand the fundamental issue, you need look no further than 'participation trophies'. Games with no losers, it's not reality. And when kids grow up in world which isn't reality they can't adjust to a world where there really are winners and losers so they need to be medicated. Medicated to deal with reality.

I see the results of our society's effect on young people on a daily basis. I see so many young people so immersed in their virtual world that they cannot function effectively. Large numbers are on medications and are on disability, with no expectation of ever having a job. Many seem to be proud of their labels, the most common being depressive, bipolar, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, and impulsive disorders. These young folk that have their whole lives in front of them and the most they strive for is their next disability check.

There are some folk with auditory processing disorder that can only communicate comfortably by texting, I am not talking about those with this condition, but so many young people have zero socialization skills and the increase of virtual communication is destroying civility. The level of discomfort and anxiety that some of them feel, leads to less personal contact, impatience, and rudeness with others. They also lack the ability to read interpersonal cues which complicates the matter.

All of this though are just complexities of a societal problem that starts in the home. I still think young people should have a more balanced life. I am not saying do away with the distractions, just make sure their feet are firmly planted in the world in which they will have to survive and function.

I have three very close friends that have sons, age 33, 34, and 37. Yes, they all still live at home with Mom and Dad supporting them. They all three graduated University, but for some reason can't seem to find a job that suits them. Guess who I blame? While I think it unfortunate that these, not so young any more, men, have no drive, no ambition, and are content with living their lives as if they are sill 12 years old, I don't blame them.

Ours used to come up with a wild fantasy about making robot arms or legs to make him good at everything he couldn't immediately do like basketball.

Then I started shopping for a sport for him. We finally found tae kwon do, and it took him some time, a few weeks, but he finally settled in and decided he wanted to go with that and liked it quite a bit. Then he set a goal to earn his black belt. Then he decided he wanted to start competing in tournaments. He still struggles with issues of confidence when he runs into new things he's never tried before and can't immediately get the hang of, but he's not angrily talking about designing robot arms to do it all for him.

So I think the secret is to find ways to get your kids to explore their own capabilities. What are they good at? What are their natural talents? Find them, and let them build on those.

From a religious perspective, we always tell our son that God set the rules for how the world works. Everything we humans know about it from a science standpoint is simply learning how the rules work and learning how to work with those rules God laid down. Watching movies like Harry Potter or reading those books is a lot of fun, but forces like magic? They're a subversion or breaking of the rules. And while it's fun to think about breaking the rules, most rules exist for a reason, especially God's rules.

a reply to: ketsuko

So I think the secret is to find ways to get your kids to explore their own capabilities. What are they good at? What are their natural talents? Find them, and let them build on those.

I think it is easier today for children to be directed into areas where they can actually embrace their natural talents. It is the antiquated concept that a productive job is being a doctor, lawyer, police officer, etc., that held us back in the past. I used to try to reshape the idea parents had when thinking about steering their children into a life choice, when I was talking to the parents of the children I was involved with. I hope it worked a for a child or three.

My Dad used to tell us, "If you have a choice between a job that pays you $5 an hour that you love, and a job that pays you $50 an hour that you hate, take the $5 an hour job."

There is usually a career match for almost everything that a child loves to do. They love putting together puzzles, they may find working in a museum restoring artifacts, a good fit. My niece loved rocks and collected them from the age of 2. I made her aware of several career fields where the love and knowledge of rocks may be suitable for her.

It didn't work for my niece because when she got older she found something that she liked a lot more than rocks. The boys won out. She loves to cook and now wants to be a baker. What was that saying about the way to a man's heart?