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What to do about my uncle

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posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:18 PM
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My uncle lost his job of 25 years. He works in tool and die and the company he worked for he was the owners right hand man. The owner died and his son took over. The owner son was taking on too much work and it was ruining the companies reputation. My uncle kept warning him that they couldn't handle the workload. He blamed the failures of the company on my uncle and fired him. My uncle knew every nut and bolt in that place.

He found another job as a supervisor. There was a lot of favoritism going on in this new company. Some kid messed something up and they told my uncle to fire him. My uncle told them the kid was learning and he's going to make mistakes. He said he wasn't doing it so they fired him.

My uncle doesn't drive because he hasn't had a license since 1994 for drinking and driving. My grandmother drove him everywhere the past 25 years. He's a severe alcoholic but I've never seen it get in his way at work. I worked with him for a short while. He's smart and knows his job well. I've worked with engineers at Ford motor company that didn't know half of what he does.

He was totally depended on my grandmother and she died a year ago. I understand addiction is like and he hasn't been sober in 30 years except when he was working. He was making $25 an hour.

He just hasn't dried out from drinking long enough to get his license back. I think he's hopelessly addicted. It goes for my entire side of that family. They all have serious addiction problems. The stuff I've heard over the years from my uncles puts what most rocks stars have done to shame.

It's Xmas time and in his line of work they don't like to hire until after Easter. He has no money no food nothing.

He has guns and I'm worried he's going to eat a bullet. My dad shot himself when I was 5. My uncle is one of my closest relatives and I care for him a lot. We've been close my entire life.

I don't know what to do. Lecturing him on quitting drinking isn't going to work. He's rather die then quit I know that much. My grandmother enabled him all these years driving him places.

I'm on disability and I don't have much myself. The most I can do is offer to buy him food.

In the meantime I'm going tell him to try and get food stamps until he can find a job. He just defaulted on all of his credit cards. Being a single I don't know if he'll qualify. I get them because I'm on disability.

When I lost my job back in the day I got food stamps but I just heard Trump is cutting people off unless they work 20 hours a week. I know my uncle isn't going to pay to take an uber to work for minimum wage at dollar general. Going from $25 an hour to minimum wage isn't exactly and easy thing to do.

I just lost my grandmother my mom has lung cancer my other grandmother has Alzheimer's and now I've gotta worry about my uncle committing suicide. My dad shot himself when I was 5 and my aunt hung herself. The above is all the family I have. I watched my mom lose her house because she got sick. I drove 50 miles round trip in the worst traffic imaginable taking her to chemo and radiation every day. They had the freeway system shut down for months. All the traffic was on the main roads. I live with my grandmother and take care of her.

I just don't want to lose my uncle. I'm hoping he doesn't do anything stupid.
edit on 14-12-2019 by wantsome because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:41 PM
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Coming from a family that has also been heavily affected by alcohol and drug addictions I don't really have anything nice to say about the situation.

I would suggest that you take care of yourself.

Your uncle is a grown man.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:44 PM
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How far from retirement is your uncle. If he worked that long, he may be able to collect a pension from his first employer. He may qualify for social security soon, sounds like he may be getting around sixty two based on what you have been mentioning. Some companies have a pension that can be collected after twenty or twenty five years of service if a person's age is above a certain point. I know people who retired at around fifty five, a reduced pension, but then he can get a part time job and do all right.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:50 PM
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a reply to: rickymouse
He's 54



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:57 PM
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a reply to: wantsome
Not to sound flippant do you have anyone praying for you and the situation?


edit on 14-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:57 PM
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a reply to: AutomateThis1

Pretty stupid comment...



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:59 PM
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originally posted by: AutomateThis1
Coming from a family that has also been heavily affected by alcohol and drug addictions I don't really have anything nice to say about the situation.

I would suggest that you take care of yourself.

Your uncle is a grown man.
Sure he's a grown man but nobodies perfect we all have our flaws. I had my own problems with addiction so I understand what it's like. I'll put myself first if I have to but I'm not going to sit back and watch someone destroy their self without trying to help.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 08:59 PM
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I’ve got a lot questions but it all rides on one thing .

What does his credit look like ?

Does someone have enough confidence to cosponsor for around $125,000 ? In this economy banks are receptive again to small businesses. Especially if you walk in with a proven cash flow .

If he was the owner’s right hand man he’s familiar with all the contacts. It’s very doubtful he had to sign a noncompete .

I’m taking a guess but I figure he ran a machine lathe ?

I know a guy and the exact same thing happened to him . He spent a year dragging his ass saying wooo is me . Then one of the salesman from his last company looked him up . Because his Old employer was screwing stuff up .

In his case the salesman and his company helped set him up in the garage .

It was like someone turn on the switch to on his self-esteem .

His self-pity over divorce and his damn near agoraphobia vanished .


You guys will hear me say this a lot .

“ if you’re working for somebody else, you’re working for the wrong guy “


Edit;

Missed the default on his credit card .

But if he can talk to some of his old Contacts and walk in with a positive cash flow. It might not hurt him .
edit on 14-12-2019 by Fallingdown because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:00 PM
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a reply to: wantsome


edit on 14-12-2019 by DrumsRfun because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:00 PM
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reply to: wantsome

Talk and spend time with him!



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:06 PM
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originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck
a reply to: wantsome
Not to sound flippant do you have anyone praying for you and the situation?

Both my grandmothers are catholic. My grandmother does a lot of praying but with her mind being what it is I don't know who or whats she's praying for. I'm not one to ask for help. I'm not religious if I prayed I'd probably catch on fire.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:07 PM
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a reply to: Sabrechucker
I am I'm going over there tomorrow.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:12 PM
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originally posted by: wantsome

originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck
a reply to: wantsome
Not to sound flippant do you have anyone praying for you and the situation?

I'm not one to ask for help. I'm not religious if I prayed I'd probably catch on fire.

Maybe it's time to ask for help.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:19 PM
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a reply to: Fallingdown

He's $40k in debt with his credit cards.

He's a die setter and supervisor. He got $5k in severance pay and unemployment. He inherited my grandmothers house with my other uncle and the taxes are outrageous. They don't want to sell the house it's worth $300k. My uncles have talked about me getting my dads share. Except my other uncle is wishy washy about stuff. He drinks a 5th of vodka a night. My other uncle drinks 20 beers a night. My other uncle owns his own carpet cleaning business except he can't work. He fell off a ladder a couple months ago and ripped his entire calf off his leg. My uncles hate each other. It went so far that my uncle stuck a gun in my other uncle face.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:19 PM
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Take care of yourself first.

You do definitely need a support system.

Check into senior citizen groups for help with your mother and grandmother. They have all kinds of financial, nursing, and food etc for seniors. If either of your parents or grandparents served in the military, the government and veterans groups also provide help.

Your uncle needs professional help. Contact the local county or hospital if your uncle is open. If not, you really will never be able to help him. Sorry.

You need to live your own life. Best wishes. This is really tough. Don't keep trying to do this alone. Too much.


edit on 14-12-2019 by Floridadreamin because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:25 PM
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Have you ever heard the term, Suplimental Security Income? SSI!
Supplemental Security Income
Supplemental Security Income is a United States government means-tested welfare program that provides cash assistance and health care coverage to people with low-income and limited assets who are either aged 65 or older, blind, or disabled. Although administered by the Social Security Administration, SSI is funded from the U.S.Wikipedia

Supplemental Security Income Home Page -- 2019 Edition

www.ssa.gov...



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:33 PM
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a reply to: wantsome

Good. Just listen...don't try to be a voice of reason during chaos. Good luck to you !



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:36 PM
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a reply to: FloridadreaminMy grandmother is a gold star wife. She lost her first husband in Vietnam. How do I look into finding help for her? She gets a cash benefit every month. She has a pension and social security. I'm partially in control of her finances.

PS I've gotta go to bed soon I'm dead tired. I'll reply in the morning.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:44 PM
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originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck

originally posted by: wantsome

originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck
a reply to: wantsome
Not to sound flippant do you have anyone praying for you and the situation?

I'm not one to ask for help. I'm not religious if I prayed I'd probably catch on fire.

Maybe it's time to ask for help.
It's not that I don't believe there is a god because I've seen divine intervention. I narrowly escaped death one time and I believe it wasn't my time. I believe I was spared for a greater purpose. I'd need an entire bucket of miracles at this point. I didn't mention this before but besides my mom getting lung cancer they found 3 growths in my lungs and I'm only 43. I honestly don't think I have a lot of time left. I was suppose to see a specialist back in April but I've been putting it off because of everything going on in my life. I believe my purpose is to take care of my mom and grandmother.



posted on Dec, 14 2019 @ 09:53 PM
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Get him to make his own alcohol

Sounds like quitting will most likely lead to suicide and that's something that you cant stop

It will give him a hobby something to look forward to and it will make it cost less

Just a suggestion... I know my father even being diagnosed with hepatitis c didn't stop him from drinking that's just the mindset of a hardened alcoholic they already accepted death all you can do is make life less painful



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