Never argue with your wife in the afterlife

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: DBCowboy

I told my wife, a man will only ever forget his anniversary once and he will remember it for the rest of his life.

Know a guy who got married on Thanksgiving and was so happy he would always remember the date.

Bzzt. Epic fail.

My second marriage I got married on my birthday.

No chance of screwing that up.

Just look at the driver's license.

We tried that. Second marriage for both of us was on my birthday.

We both forgot.

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: DBCowboy

I told my wife, a man will only ever forget his anniversary once and he will remember it for the rest of his life.

Know a guy who got married on Thanksgiving and was so happy he would always remember the date.

Bzzt. Epic fail.

My second marriage I got married on my birthday.

No chance of screwing that up.

Just look at the driver's license.

We tried that. Second marriage for both of us was on my birthday.

We both forgot.

You were made for each other!!!

a reply to: DBCowboy

Wife: "I'm not going to talk to you in heaven..."

Your reply should have been, "of course, that's why it's heaven."

originally posted by: DBCowboy
To put it bluntly, my wife said, "I will stop talking to you in Heaven if you die on your stupid job".

(I've been working a lot recently.)

So I said, "Oh, I can chat up Sandra Bullock then?"











That's when I got in trouble.



My bride of 30+ years replied, "Just because we're not talking does NOT mean you can fool around in the afterlife!!!"



Basically, it comes down to this. I'm screwed. Going to have to buy jewelry, and say "Sorry" a lot.


Warning for all you young pups on the site.

Was she being presumptive saying she would see you in heaven? Some how I have the feeling that you;ve been naughty.

originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck

originally posted by: DBCowboy
To put it bluntly, my wife said, "I will stop talking to you in Heaven if you die on your stupid job".

(I've been working a lot recently.)

So I said, "Oh, I can chat up Sandra Bullock then?"











That's when I got in trouble.



My bride of 30+ years replied, "Just because we're not talking does NOT mean you can fool around in the afterlife!!!"



Basically, it comes down to this. I'm screwed. Going to have to buy jewelry, and say "Sorry" a lot.


Warning for all you young pups on the site.

Was she being presumptive saying she would see you in heaven? Some how I have the feeling that you;ve been naughty.

I wasn't going to go there, but I was thinking that his chances of talking to me after death may be higher then the chances of talking to his wife...



ETA... I'm assuming that if the stories are real, we'll both start in middle management.

a reply to: Lumenari

We may all here... end up in the great ATS in the sky arguing about the after life.

originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck
a reply to: Lumenari

We may all here... end up in the great ATS in the sky arguing about the after life.

I'm sure at the very least that it's going to be a family reunion for me if it happens like the Bible says...



and ETA... I wasn't assuming the sky part.... Maybe the ATS Forum "Burning In Hell".

What would they pick as an icon for that?

NM... it would be something silly.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Sandra Bullock here.. (you can tell by my profile pic)

I don't want to talk to you then, either. Neigh. Hooooorrrseee..

this is why I'm never getting married. in the after life? jeeezuz no. fkn bad enough in the living.

crikey.. Oo

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I made dinner, but my beautiful bride just commented, "Still sleeping with a retard".

If you wanted to get in serious trouble you could have responded "Yep, you sure are, I'm sleeping on the couch"

originally posted by: DBCowboy
To put it bluntly, my wife said, "I will stop talking to you in Heaven if you die on your stupid job".

(I've been working a lot recently.)

So I said, "Oh, I can chat up Sandra Bullock then?"











That's when I got in trouble.



My bride of 30+ years replied, "Just because we're not talking does NOT mean you can fool around in the afterlife!!!"



Basically, it comes down to this. I'm screwed. Going to have to buy jewelry, and say "Sorry" a lot.


Warning for all you young pups on the site.

So, she doesn't share your sense of humor.

My wife basically told me she would have my tally wacker cut off and stuffed . Guess the rest of me is gater bait???

originally posted by: Vector99

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I made dinner, but my beautiful bride just commented, "Still sleeping with a retard".

If you wanted to get in serious trouble you could have responded "Yep, you sure are, I'm sleeping on the couch"

That's more than worth the full body cast he'd end up in XD

This song will really help put the spark back into things...



Put supersonic love rocket in her socket

Well not to throw a monkey wrench into all the plans, but remember how the world was going to end in 2012?

Maybe it did and instead of the burning flames, meteors and what not it just flicked off like a light switch. Which makes this the afterlife.

a reply to: Groot

Southern gals are hard to....we.. Not get your bits cut away.

You work in exeleators..no problem there. *tee hee hee getting it up*..

god I'm still so sad..

Since B got married, only onwards... est quod est.. fly across the planet, whod be me...

a reply to: DBCowboy

(I've been working a lot recently.)

Basically, it comes down to this. I'm screwed. Going to have to buy jewelry, and say "Sorry" a lot.

hahahaha So you have to work more again for buying gifts - where does it stop?

a reply to: DBCowboy

My understanding is you are married until death do you part.
My husband and I have 2 wedding days! We were married in
the court house on one date.We had a chapel service and our
reception on another date. Yes,I have hit him up for gifts on
both dates!
I do have to remind him that the court house date is the legal
date the state goes by.

a reply to: DBCowboy
Let me give you all some words of wisdom.
DB. your first and only mistake was speaking. You should have kept quiet or replied "what makes you think you 're going to heaven". But phone the paramedics first.
To everybody else, you have no forward planning. Take me (well not take me, believe me) Valentines day 14th of Feb., my wifes birthday 15th Feb and my wedding anniversary 16th Feb. Now that's easy aint it. But I still forget to buy the cards sometimes.

a reply to: DBCowboy

There is a reason some guys think that I am the smartest man alive since I learned from others on the whole marriage (or even sorta married) thing. Well in my younger days anyway. Now they all say WTF is wrong with you, because they have been domesticated/neutered/forgotten what freedom is.

That’s not to say I haven’t slipped up along the way and almost got stupid, but taking a file to a piece of coal, doing a wire wrap and attaching a note that says keep pressuring was a perfect solution. Because you gotta sort by sense of humor. That it deified me in the process was a bonus.

a reply to: shawmanfromny that's frigging hilerious i called the wife in to watch it she recons it wasnt funny