Sphere pizza theory

As every educated person should know by now, the earth is flat. But what only a selected few of us know, is that pizzas are spheres. Round objects like a ball. So when you think you are eating a regular (by fake news: flat) salami pizza, this is what you are really eating:



Please notice the reflections. It is a ball. These things can't be faked. And when you eat a pizza slice, you actually eat a segment of a whole sphere. That is due to malevolent alien entities supporting themselves with human emotions. And the larger the human population mass, the greater the alien energy levels. So the aliens manipulate your eyesight to make a pizza appear flat. It is not.

I don't see any sauce. Where's the sauce?

originally posted by: Lazarus Short
I don't see any sauce. Where's the sauce?

The sauce is there. Your favorite kind. The aliens only made it seem like there is no sauce. Deny ignorance!

My favorite part of the sphere pizza is the far side. That’s where all the hidden toppings are.

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
My favorite part of the sphere pizza is the far side. That’s where all the hidden toppings are.

Hidden toppings? Like Nazis and Helium 3??

Not sure I believe this but it is supposed to be hollow
I hope it’s hollow

originally posted by: Raggedyman
Not sure I believe this but it is supposed to be hollow
I hope it’s hollow

Think about a flat earth that is also hollow. Two theories combined. I don't know about you, but my mind has just exploded

a reply to: Finspiracy

Seems legit.
Will ask my woman if she would like a couple of Chernobyl pizza-balls for supper.

originally posted by: Finspiracy

originally posted by: Lazarus Short
I don't see any sauce. Where's the sauce?

The sauce is there. Your favorite kind. The aliens only made it seem like there is no sauce. Deny ignorance!

Actually, science says that there is a molten sauce layer under the cheezy crust. It has to do with the relative densities of the molten state fatty cheese (which 'floats' on top) compared with the denser aqueous saucy layer.

Normally, the impacts of pepperoni normally leave their marks only on the surface and don't penetrate the cheese layer but a sufficiently massive 'smallgoods impactor' can cause an eruption of sauce at its edges (as is often seen in slow motion pizza assembly advertisements), and which reveals the nature of the saucy mantle.

... And the aliens aren't really being deceptive about pizza topology.

Pizza is actually two-dimensionally flat at the event horizon of a multiversal super singularity and its sphericity is encoded holographically (as are all objects trapped at an event horizon).

This means that, to someone within the 'world frame of reference' of the Pizza, it appears 3D and has 'height'. To those outside, it appears 2D and flat.

Science!

Earth is actually shaped like a carrot.
God is a giant bunny.
I know this because Pizza the Hut told me.

originally posted by: Finspiracy

originally posted by: Raggedyman
Not sure I believe this but it is supposed to be hollow
I hope it’s hollow

Think about a flat earth that is also hollow. Two theories combined. I don't know about you, but my mind has just exploded

Well it’s quite palatable the hollow pizza theory