Adult copycat advice

a reply to: Nothin

Hi Jag.
Was gonna write a deeper piece, about how we are not our decorations, but there is something that we seem to attach to in our creations. But kinda feel you may not be interested in that.

I'd love to read your deeper piece. I actually don't consider myself materialistic. I don't follow designers or trends, I just have my own unique style.

In the end we're all a sack of bones, that's true. In this moment, I would also not like to be an adult twinzie with a friend, it just makes things weird and uncomfortable. I think that is understandable.

a reply to: trollz

It's possible that she just has no style of her own and is only copying you because she'd be clueless as to how to decorate otherwise

Yes this is a possibility, a very plain Jane type of person

The chances of her being dangerous are too great to take the risk of not immediately distancing yourself

I seriously don't think there is a danger of violence. I do question friendship and if this person is really something else.

You should watch the movie Single White Female. It will tell you everything you need to know about this situation. It is like you are describing the plot of the movie.

Single White Female

originally posted by: olaru12
a reply to: JAGStorm


My sympathies!! I was a designer/artisan making Sterling Jewelry and other items for over 25 years. My partner and I traveled the world doing the wholesale markets and retail shows as well. Design thieves are everywhere and they will mass produce your designs so fast it's astonishing. It's one of the reasons I went back into one of a kind architectural sculptural ceramics and operating my own Gallery/studio.

Good Luck, I know full well how you feel about being ripped off!! I spent a fortune on attorneys sending out cease and desist letters, and they still didn't stop.

That is so cool! I have a lot of hobbies and have dabbled into jewelry making. I'm not very good at it yet, but it fascinates me.
Your one of a kind architectural sculptures sound right up my alley. My house is filled with antiques and one of kind handmade pieces. You would think that other people would want to do the same and make their houses and look, reflect themselves....you would think...

a reply to: halfoldman

Although at first they're very giving, and take your sides in arguments, but then you start noticing, their compliments become more and more backhanded critiques

There was something said that was very frienemyish recently.
Maybe there is more to this than is on the surface.

My sister-in-law had a woman just the same. Same clothes, same hair do. We used to call her "the clone". Just go around telling all your friends that you have a "clone" and point her out. She'll soon get the message.
There is a saying something like" copying is the sincerest form of flattery" or something like that.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Oh yes, there's more below the surface.

See how they like the tiniest critique, and watch them wince and literally shrink, while they expect you to take all their bitchiness and insults as a sign of good friendship.

It's a long process, but eventually when you're no longer useful to them they will have an ear-shattering showdown, based on something real or imaginary.
It will come like an apocalypse to you - possibly totally unexpected.
But they know how to play the victim and boo-hoo, and turn everything on you.

And then they move onto the next victim (usually another empath-type personality).
Possibly even one of your now former friends they've turned against you.
From what I read, it's the only path it's headed.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Imitation is indeed the most sincere form of flattery and from the sound of it you have yourself a superfan. Maybe this might sound overly cautious but I would pull away from that person for a while. There is a fine line between superfan and psycho stalker! If you are lucky she will latch on to somebody else.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I was thinking about this movie I watched years ago while reading
your op.The movie had Jennifer Jason Lee* and Bridget Fonda in it.
That was a creepy movie and I can't remember the name of it.I think
you should be cautious my mama instincts have been activated.
The part you posted about having the same car and hat like you wear.

That's the movie,Single,White Female!

a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

here is a fine line between superfan and psycho stalker!

Right? Most women do not want the exact same Jewelry as other women. It is very personal.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Maybe she just really likes your style and has no style of her own. Tell her she's gotta get her own style and mimicking you is a bit wierd.

Joke (from a masculine gender perspective): "Dear mum, arrived at the army today, and everyone's dressing like me. I think they're ripping me off. I wanna come home".

But I think as a male there is an escape from very narcissistic and disordered feminine behavior in Western societies these days.
That was my saving grace.

Women have no escape from other disordered women.

And only a minority are disordered, but just as patriarchy once created a social space for wife-beaters, so some feminism has now created a space for the female narcissist and the disordered female.
And boy, shall they reign!

So yes, we're going to see the personality disorders of females increasingly, and they do exploit tropes of historic female victimhood.

Of course men can just withdraw, but how women will cope with a few sociopaths among themselves?
I don't know, but firstly realize that some women are as violently disordered as anti-social males.
And the current environment, instead of correcting them somehow, allows them to get away with it, or even encourages it.

a reply to: JAGStorm

My wife has had to deal with stuff like that.
She was always the first of her friends to try something new with her hair, or decorating the house a certain way - example: a blood red accent wall, or silver or platinum hair...

She eventually got sick of it because of how blatant it became.
Long story short doesn’t talk to them anymore, not because of the copying, but I’m sure that annoyance added to it.

Myself, I had people over the years use my sayings, or verbiage.
I have a very....unique way with words I guess.
My friend calls them Carignan-isms.
Carignan is my last name.

a reply to: JAGStorm

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

Let it slide, if you mention it or confront etc. Expect bigger problems as rejection can breed obsessive behaviour far worse than what you are experiencing at the moment.

Speaking from experience.

Best wishes whatever you decide

As already pointed out earlier in the thread...

GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

Imitation is indeed the most sincere form of flattery and from the sound of it you have yourself a superfan. Maybe this might sound overly cautious but I would pull away from that person for a while. There is a fine line between superfan and psycho stalker! If you are lucky she will latch on to somebody else

a reply to: JAGStorm

In the infamous words of Homer J Simpson; "you're unique....just like everyone else."

originally posted by: JAGStorm

I'd love to read your deeper piece. I actually don't consider myself materialistic. I don't follow designers or trends, I just have my own unique style.

In the end we're all a sack of bones, that's true. In this moment, I would also not like to be an adult twinzie with a friend, it just makes things weird and uncomfortable. I think that is understandable.

Aw durn ! Am gonna have to actually put some effort into it now, sheesh... LoL !

Was hinting at what some call your 'immutable self'. That singular 'True' essence of 'youness', that may be, and always has seemed to be constant, and unchanging.
When nothing else is 'true', that which is still there, in your awareness, perception, and experience.

That most deep, real, and 'True' you.
That is unique, amazing, and beautiful beyond simple words.
The reason why we never need to be like someone else, because you are already the peak of perfection 'you'.

Nobody can ever really emulate, or copy that.
They may copy clothing styles, jewelry, cosmetics, consumer products, entertainment choices, whatever.
But that's not really 'you', now, is it ?
We are not the shadows, on the wall of Plato's cave, are we ?

So she may indeed seem to be trying to copy you, in multiple ways; but it's sad, and superficial, and awkward.

From the time we enter life, school, college, the job-market: we learn to fit into the moulds, and we are steered funnel-like into more-and-more narrow options.
Folks like you, whom have strong creative energy, and are not as attached to this whole materialistic thingy, end-up dissolving those moulds and false limitations.

Folks like her: well, perhaps those fences, or walls, become a reassuring, and welcome part of their 'prison' ?
If you tried to discuss the whole topic with her, perhaps her eyes would just glaze-over, you know : "No comprendé".

Please don't worry about it, as those things that she is copying, are not really the unique 'you'.
If they were: then how could they be copied ?


( Hope am not coming-across as a know-it-all, because don't really 'know' anything. )
( Don't 'know' these things. They are merely opinion/belief/temporary ideas/observations/thoughts/concepts. )

Well, you can deal with a weak mind by exploiting the fact that they have a weak mind and planting a negative suggestion. In the case of the necklace say that you see that they have one similar so you want to confide in her. The color scheme is amazing but ask if she has noticed any peculiarities since wearing that combination of gemstones. And be creative here, anxious feeling of always running a little late, not appreciating the zen of taking a moment to drink coffee, little snippets of bad luck like misplacing your keys only to later find them where they are supposed to be or ink pens not writing right, etc.

The idea is to give the subliminal that she later confirms and then abandons the necklace preserving your signature look. People manufacture their own misfortunes and placing a subtle superstition to blame is a quick fix to their problem. It’s even better when they say that they have not noticed because they will then start looking for them.

And yes, this is the same psychological principles at work as with “negging” someone into dating. Just far more subtle and thus more effective. Because you can revisit the conversation in 2-3 weeks and hear a few examples of bad juju.

What if it turns out you are both robots from the same factory.

are we giving the op tips on how to make it look lke an accident?
we all know thats the only way this will be resolved.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Right? Most women do not want the exact same Jewelry as other women. It is very personal.

I think on some level what's bothering you is trying to figure out: how weird is too weird?

On the one hand you think you're over reacting, and maybe there's a normal explanation for all this?

I think Metalicus might be right - you're being SingleWhiteFemaled

This happened to me once. I won't tell the whole story, but towards the end of the story, one night I saw my copycat standing under a street light not far from my bedroom window after I had just turned out the lights to go to bed. I thought to myself - that can't really be her. But, it was. Standing there staring at my window like something out of a movie

I broke off all contact

What I can tell you about her was that she had had a really messed up life and was a truly broken person. Maybe you were kind to her? That's how it started with me. I put up with a lot of bizarreness for several years - until that night

I realized that I was no longer in a position to know how far is too far