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(To the covert narcissist their image is more important than who they really are)
(They know their public behaviors are different than their private, if they didn’t know it was wrong they would be like that all the time. Why doesn’t she swear in public or snap at the dog or me in public? ) (they know what they’re doing and they don’t want to change)
(Narcissists use sex as a bonding tool to hook you on their energy. Sex can be an excellent instrument for inducing trance states, which is how they seize control of your attention.
Naturally, during deep sharing all of your attention is on your partner. Using a method called bait-and-switch, they amplify intensity and then quickly withdraw. It gives them a way to test how deeply invested you are in them.
If you are hooked, the emptiness that ensues as a result of their sudden retreat will make you crave more. This gives them a huge bargaining power over you. Now they are free to start making demands and dropping suggestions. If you don’t comply, you’ll be starved of their sweet poison.
Many victims of severe mistreatment who stay in abusive relationships admit that the reason is because the sex was so good)
originally posted by: Boadicea
Devastated? I wonder how your wife would feel about you airing her dirty laundry on a public discussion forum... Would "devastated" cover it ya think???
Here's a thought... just show your wife this OP and I'll betcha she leaves your sorry whining ass. And rightly so. She deserves better than a husband trash talking her on a public discussion forum for the whole world to see. If you've got problems, work them out. If you can't work them out, get a divorce.
originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: BrianDavis
It doesn't sound like a narcissist, it sounds like a crazy bitch. You may have chosen poorly, man.
You're not helping. Someone comes to the forum for advice...
...and gives sufficient backstory for people to work with...
...and ALL you care about is the wife in this.
I seem to remember you being of little to no help in another previous thread dealing with a member whipping out a weapon on someone, too.
Coincidentally, the weapon wielder was also female. I sense a theme with you here. You only care about the woman's side of a story.
originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Nyiah
Not helping who? The guy talking trash about his wife -- in very intimate detail -- behind her back? Yeah... no... I'm not helping him do that...
But I defy you to find anywhere in that pathetic OP that even hints at requesting advice. That was nothing more than a vile and hateful rant.
Yes, he gave more than enough "backstory" for all of ATS to pile on the wifey hatefest! Let's all say mean and hateful and hurtful things about a woman we don't even know! What a guy!!! Husband of the year!!! Nay -- CENTURY!!!
And for what it's worth, I'm not taking his word for any of his spewings. If his own wife can't trust him, I sure can't.
Interesting that you just see sex and not spouse.
As I noted in a subsequent comment to the one you quoted, there is no good reason for either a husband or a wife to do this. If I'd seen a woman trash talking her husband the same way, I would have had the same reaction. Because marriage vows are sacred. I've been hear a while. I defy you to find even one comment in which I've trash talked my husband. You won't... because I don't.
Again, no help to who? The drunk guy mauling and molesting a lone woman??? Damn right I won't help creepers being creepy -- before or after the fact.
Interesting take... drunk creeper molests armed woman... woman fights back... SURPRISE!... I condemn creeper and commend woman for having the means and opportunity to protect and defend herself... and that means I ONLY care about the woman's side of a story? No. It means that I don't make piss poor excuses for men doing crappy things to women.
And just for the record, calling out the bad behavior of men when the situation calls for it does not in any way preclude me speaking up for men when the situation calls for it: What is a Man? A Response to Gillette
My words (and my record) will stand on their own merit. And I'm good with that too.
Neither I or anyone else gives a flying F what you do or don't say about your own husband. You do not get to walk all over someone else for opening up. That's being an asshole.