Taught my little girls something important

I have two little girls under 10. They’re amazing and I’m a proud, happy father.

If you’re a father to a daughter out there, you know there’s nothing like your little girl(s)

One of them made a comment about a boy today that she claims “likes her”. I’m sure he does. My little one is adorable. And yes I’m biased. Show my a father who doesn’t think his daughter is beautiful. BUT!

I know this little pecker wood that thinks he likes my daughter. He’s a whiner. Total cupcake. Low potential from my seat. And yes, I said that about an eight year old. I did and Own that. NMFP. I can just see it.

My mind goes to - what the # are these parents doing to make their son a whiny little bastard that doesn’t do a thing for himself, cries when he doesn’t get his way and comes off as dim witted and needing a safe space that includes his butt getting wiped, a vigilante cookie policy (+10 parent points if you name that reference) and essentially getting what we he wants when he wants it. BS that little waste can “like my daughter”. Not happenin.

So, with this in mind, I had a talk with my little princess. Side bar - yes, I love my daughters. They are princesses. We instilled discipline in them beginning at about 18 months each, They have exceptional manners and are kind to all around them. I’d they don’t behave impeccably they will answer for it - the expectation is being a good, kind and helpful human being. And they are that at least 99% of the time. So for that, I spoil them. And I love my ladies beyond words, beyond my life and beyond anything I Could comprehend before I had little ladies. My wife comes first, but the kiddos do really get to me.

Anyway, I told my daughter in a moment of protection/unfiltered adult honesty that the suitor who was coming knocking doesn’t seem very smart. I’m a #. I said that about an eight year old. It happened and it happened from a good place. Daughter says “no - he’s not. And he cries a lot and whines at people. I don’t like him.”

With that, I smiled, told her she’s right, and felt peace with the fact my little girl was raised to know her worth, not accept bad behavior and she’s not ok with whiners.

She’ll be a good human to and for other humans. I’m proud of that.

Now I need parents of little boys to turn them into men I can say yes to.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

wow - that started of making no sense what so ever - then went down hill

You might have just cost your daughter $150,000 in “hush money” (in exchange for a sketchy NDA) a few years from now.

But, all good!

Yikes. So you're teaching your daughter to be superior and judgemental. And do you really think you need to be lecturing her about boyfriends at age EIGHT? I so hope you're just drunk-posting.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

I'm disappointed you did not take the challenge to help educate another child.
(The whole it takes a village theme).

But I'm sure you have your reasons.
My daughter is under 6 months, so I have not come across this yet.

Perhaps being staff at a college, I prefer to try to build folks up and show them skills rather than dismiss them outright. I cannot excuse personalities. But I know I've changed beliefs and helped change the life path for individuals for the better.

I do not disagree with your conclusion.
But I disagree that you should rest on laurels when confronted with the young. Especially the less than double digit young.
I had many individuals shape my life from a young age; my parents, friends parents, scout masters, teachers, etc.

I have met a ton of little boys like that and they grow out of it eventually, and if they don’t your girls wouldn’t like them anyway. I have to side with other people here he’s a kid who isn’t even close to puberty yet and your making judgment calls on who and what he will become.

I was that whiny bitch of a kid. However I was handed a hard set of cards in life. I came from a divorced family, my mother is bipolar “ps I love my mother to death” she had almost full custody and my father struggled to make a living for a lot of years. I was one of the poorest kids in an extremely rich town and I was an only child. All I was good at when I was young was sports and it was everything to me so when it didn’t go my way I bitched and moaned about it.

True story about ten years ago I was at a bar with a friend and my friend asks this guy at the bar how he is doing. Then my friend asks about his kid and he says he doing great. Now I remember this guys kids name we used to play ball together and his son was the same age as me. So I asked him if he remembered me? He said yes that I was a crybaby little bitch to my face. I had to take a moment to compose myself from kicking in this dude’s teeth but he was drunk and I thought better to just accept the insult and ignore the #er. So I laughed it off and said yeah I was a kid.

Two years later I found out this guys son committed suicide over his girlfriend breaking up with him and painted the walls with his brain tissue in his parents bedroom “the same guys bedroom that called me a bitch”. His son was depressed and on medication for it.

Every once in a little while I think back to that moment like now. I don’t think I need to say more about this. You never really know what the reasons are for kids acting out because they are kids.

I too have a daughter about the same age but I don’t hold her classmates or friends to a standard that they will be like that as adults.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

As the Father of a nine year old daughter, I understand where you're coming from.

As long as you can keep them on Team Dad, you're good,

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

Screw these naysayers who think you raised them incorrectly. BOTH YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER ARE RIGHT.

Being completely nonjudgemental is a good way to end up being abused or putting up with a million different ways people can serve up BS. Unless he grows out of it because of experiences outside his birth family, I agree that he's going to be a loser of an adult.

See the humor in the naysayers whining about you two exercising independent judgement and thought regarding someone who whines constantly? HAHAHA. Gotta love it.

Good call--and good job-- Dad.

Lol at all the whining little sissies judging you for judging someone else. What absolute hypocrites!!

Not a good job done there.

There are a few problems with your approach, not least your little girls will grow up and rebel against your (perceived) pomposity.

As an experienced father, my advice is to provide a broad framework and a robust moral compass, from which children can develop to make their own decisions and choices. Sometimes it is good that children make the wrong decisions and are allowed to work out what’s best for them. An adult making decisions for them just gets in the way of experience and learning.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

When I was a child there was a lot of domestic voilence and I an all my siblings became negative, (we all have PTSD also.) It was only In the last 7-8 years that I realised that I was a very negative person, in fact I was told that by a work colleage. Since then I have been working on this and I now try to refuse to be negative. I have made good progress in this time and i now i realise how much negative people stick out in a crowd and how much of a pain they can be.

I once read advice that we should negative people OUT of our lives.

Seems your litle girl has got off to a good start in life and now that she can readily identify negative people she now has a lot going for her. You've done a good job, cheers to you for your work with your little girl.

originally posted by: Azureblue
a reply to: EnigmaChaser

When I was a child there was a lot of domestic voilence and I an all my siblings became negative, (we all have PTSD also.) It was only In the last 7-8 years that I realised that I was a very negative person, in fact I was told that by a work colleage. Since then I have been working on this and I now try to refuse to be negative. I have made good progress in this time and i now i realise how much negative people stick out in a crowd and how much of a pain they can be.

I once read advice that we should negative people OUT of our lives.

Seems your litle girl has got off to a good start in life and now that she can readily identify negative people she now has a lot going for her. You've done a good job, cheers to you for your work with your little girl.

So what your saying is that everyone should have avoided you because of your negativity? Isolation doesn’t work it also doesn’t create strong individuals. Negatively is required in life to fully comprehend situations better. A positive outlook is good but IT also keeps people ignorant and self absorbed. When I got into conspiracy theory I understood that the outside world is full of people avoiding negative emotions or realities.

These people put on blinders and walk through life avoiding the pile of # building around them. They are addicted to feeling good and are as deep as a birdbath. Personally I think it breaks down to intelligence usually the more intelligent you are the more aware you are of the illusion that people put on. Your world view changes, you can easily spot inconsistencies and lies in almost every thing. Or you end up like Tom Cruz yeah he’s doing great and always happy but his living in a fantasy world created by like minded lunatic’s in a church that has a cult like grip on their members.

How about this be the man you want your daughter Look up to so she has a great role model and template based of morality, ethics, emotion and ambition to search for with her husband. Do you want her with a guy that judges 8 year olds maybe mocks the elderly and mistreats animals? I’m not saying thats you but there used to be a saying that you can tell a lot about someone on how they treat children the elderly and animal.

Good job, I may not be a father but feel there are to many kids like you described this boy.
When I was an 8 year old boy, my focus was mainly on hunting, and how to butcher a carcass.

That was in the early 2000’s.

Things have really changed in the last 20 years...
Some members here will call you out, but I’m surrounded by whiney 20 year olds.

Learn to spot the losers, it makes having decent friends a lot easier.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

Forget talking to your daughter, you should have curb stomped the little kid that likes her.

Dating problems = solved.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

Disclaimer: I don't have kids, and don't plan to.

That said, I doubt you're going to like most of the suitors for your daughter until they are adults.

Stick with me here. Your daughter is still a child, under that logic, she might be attracted to other children.

Now, it's rare that boys become men until some time after 18, and common that they just become a man child (like me). It takes a lot of love to turn boys into men, because anyone who raises them purely with a heavy hand will likely turn them into cold and angry children in an adult body.

The only way any kid becomes an adult is if they are taught to learn from their mistakes and overcome their human flaws... Not be defined by them.

I always tell my son it costs nothing to be nice even to people we're pretty sure we don't want to be friends with.

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

As a mother of daughters (and granny to a granddaughter) I say poo on the naysayers! Sometimes you just have gut instincts about kids and they usually turn out to be right. Lucky for you (and your daughters) that they listen to you, it will be helpful in the future.

We had a situation when my youngest became old enough to date. The son of a family friend wanted to date her and we refused to allow it. The boy was sweet but couldn't cut it in school so his mama tried home schooling and he couldn't cut that either so they sent him to church school- also couldn't cut it. He was also a whiner and spoiled. My daughter thought we were mean but she obeyed. The boy (32 now) has been married, had a child and divorced. He has only been able to hold down a job for 6 months at the longest and that was flipping burgers. The only reason he isn't homeless is because his grandmother allows him to stay in one of her rental homes for free and he lost visitation with his child due to drugs.

Yes, he could have turned out differently but I've learned to trust my gut. My daughter definitely dodged a bullet because of it!

a reply to: EnigmaChaser

Parents today are raising their boys to be either trans or pimp dawgs. They're teaching them all to be basement dwellers.

As for the girls, retailers are dressing them to be hookers and tarts. When I was a little girl we weren't dressed in tight yoga pants and skimpy tops. We were taught modesty and dressed accordingly.

Nothing was branded and everything was tasteful.

We're seeing the influence of media and marketing in how children, in general, are raised these days.

Television as been a complete disaster for civilization. It has far too much influence in society.

I hope I'm not raising my kiddo to be a whiny wimp. I do want him to be pleasant and respectful.

I have him in competition though, so he's learning how to handle things like disappointment and success at an early age. He's also learning how to work for what he wants. And most importantly, he's in a competitive sport where he gets medals for being in the top, not just for participating.