a reply to: DaisyRainbow
Great thread! S&F to you.
I've had issues with alcohol in my life, and even thought AA would be helpful for me at one point. I didn't have a 'drinking problem'. I had a
'stopping problem'. Here's what I found with AA...
First off, AA really can be helpful, BUT it really depends on the group. To say "AA is absolutely the way to go, and the only way", as a blanket
statement, is incorrect. If you can find an AA group with peers you can identify with, then yes. However, when I first went, I thought all the AA
groups were pretty much the same. I was very wrong. The first group I went to were 99% junkies and ex-cons, all with lots of jail time, homelessness
and crime in their daily lives, not just in their pasts. I couldn't identify with most of them...not even a little bit.
Now, I know in AA you're not supposed to judge, but I'm sorry there are limits (at least for me). Most of those folks needed to be in NA, not AA. I
mean seriously, I just couldn't identify with someone who was happy they didn't relapse on alcohol last week when they had their heroin relapse.
Neither could I identify with the guy who was celebrating a week sober after waking up in his car (the one he lived in) on someone's front lawn with a
stop sign in his front seat, a stop sign which had smashed through his window the night before that he remembered none of. Judgemental on my part,
right? Well, except for the fact this same fella was a SCHOOL BUS DRIVER! I'm sorry, but I just couldn't identify with that. Or the blow-hard who
drove all around two counties every day to attend 4-5 meetings each day so he could "pontificate", ad nauseum, and at great length, ranting about how
he could have been the greatest used car salesman on planet earth if "the man" hadn't been out to get him. Week after week this same guy would show
up and do the same thing. And, all I could think about was how fun it would be to give this guy a GIANT, hour-long, "swirlie" followed by an atomic
wedgie by hanging him from the ceiling fan by his Under-Roo's! But, I digress.
Then I found another AA group who were folks with similar experiences and backgrounds and it was much more therapeutic.
So, bottom line, AA can be very helpful, but it really depends on the group. You don't have to give up all your old friends, but perhaps consider
including some AA time with all that extra time you have by not drinking. It certainly can't hurt, and you might find it really helps.
I also both agree and disagree on the going to the bar thing. I agree associating with people who are actively doing the thing you are actively
trying to avoid can be risky for a relapse. However, I disagree that someone needs to find all new friends and completely change everything about
their life; to me this is even more risky (people can't change like that overnight).
Just some thoughts.
edit on 10/10/2019 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)