posted on Sep, 25 2019 @ 02:58 AM
So basically, for both my ex-girlfriend, and my ex-"best-friend:"
I'd like to think that I can remember and cherish the positive years in which we all loved each other.
I'd like to think that I can cherish those years, and their memories.
Regardless that both relationships eventually turned toxic and ended badly, against me lol.
The thing is, that the reasons that both relationships ended badly, were fundamentally reasons from THEM, not from me:
That is, my former best-friend was a good best-friend for 6 years, BEFORE he started becoming passive-aggressive, against me, for the 7th and 8th year
of his "best-friendship."
So I'd like to chalk up those 2 bad years to HIM, as he was bringing his passive-aggressive tendencies into our friendship... which had never been
part of our best-friendship, up to that point!
It was such a classic friendship: We played SEGA, we watched movies, we watched football, we saw our friends together, etc. It never had the element
of passive-aggressiveness, until he forced such themes, in our 7th and 8th years of being best-friends. So those final 2 years sucked, but I'd like
to mostly forget about those final 2 bad years, and I'd like to attribute those years to him and his own passive-aggression.
So that means that I don't really accept the implied insult, that I DESERVE a best-friend to get mad at me every couple weeks, for 2 years straight,
lol. Which is like 48 TIMES OF GETTING MAD at me, in 2 years lol.
I don't accept the insult. His passive-aggressiveness was his own tendency. It didn't come from me, and I say that didn't deserve it.
And I say that I can still enjoy the 6 years of GOOD best-friendship with him, BEFORE those final 2 years of passive-aggressive garbage.
Likewise, re: my ex-gf: I'd like to remember and cherish those years of genuine love and happiness with her. And I don't want it to be ruined by the
eventual realization that she had been wildly cheating the whole time lol.
...It doesn't cancel out the genuine love and happiness that we really did share together, for at least most of those 6 years.
...And it might seem like that's the implied insult, that I don't deserve to be able to remember and enjoy my own happy memories with her... because
she probably wanted to ruin all my happy memories, with the eventual bragging of her infidelity...
But I don't accept that seemingly-implied insult. I don't need to throw-away all my happy memories with her.
Realizing after 6 years that she had been wildly, proudly cheating the whole time: Sure it's supposed to ruin all my happy memories with her, but I
don't accept that.
I'm considering her secret second-life of cheating as her own private involvement, during our years together.
That is, I don't accept it that her cheating was BECAUSE of me, which seems the implied insult, lol.
I don't accept it because it's not really logical thinking, to attribute one person's actions / choices, to a different person...!
So when people in general, are unfaithful to their partner, I sure don't blame their partner. I blame the unfaithful person herself, for her own
choices & actions. Her own unfaithfulness. I attribute it to HER, not to me.
But also............It doesn't cancel out our happy years together, and my happy memories of those years, because her cheating was just not part of my
life, during those happy years together.
There was a lot of love and sunshine, when we were together, and I remember / enjoy such happy memories.
For example, we had a couple beautiful times going to water parks together, in warm sunshine, and such memories are just pure and beautiful.
Completely regardless everything else lol.
We had a cat together, and in our free-time, we spent countless time together, with our cat lol. Loving each other, and loving our cat together,
petting him and talking with each other, giving him treats, etc.
I'm sure it doesn't sound exciting but it was very loving and pure and beautiful. We lived in a beautiful 3rd-storey apartment that was always full
of bright sunlight.