F You I'm Out! [WL2019]
The man sighed as he got in his truck and threw the single lottery ticket in the center console. He only ever bought one when the jack pot got
ridiculously high. And right now it was sitting at a cool 750 million. He thought he'd never win but it was always worth the chance of escaping the
He drove home to have dinner and a quite night with his wife. They had planned a fun weekend of house work and chores.... Just another part of the
never ending grind.
Sunday morning finally rolled around. He woke up and stumbled his way to the coffee pot, poured a big cup headed out to the truck to check the lottery
ticket he had almost forgotten about.
Opening the door he grumbled "lets see what kind of day it's gonna be."
Setting the coffee down in the cup holder he retrieved the ticket and pulled up the winning lottery numbers up on his phone.
"17, got one!" he said sarcastically.
"27, uh huh"
"44, holy shi!t!"
"51," his hand now covered his mouth.
"Power ball: 07, NO FUGGIN WAY!!!"
A double take. A tipple take.
He dropped the ticket and the phone, got out of the truck and closed the door. Took a big gulp of coffee and slapped himself in the face. This must be
Getting back in the truck he checked the numbers again. And again they matched. He ran inside and gave the ticket to his wife. She couldn't believe
it either. They joyously dance around the old creaky house.
"Change of plans babe, you take care of this, I have some things to do."
Throwing a shovel in the bed of the truck, he sped off to his friends farm. It was a quick drive only a few miles away. When he got there, his buddy
was repairing a fence along the road. Rolling down the window he yelled "Hey man, I need to borrow some cow crap". Before his friend could inquire
about the odd request he was peeling off towards the pasture.
He loaded his truck bed full of the freshest crap he could find and drove back home laughing maniacally the whole way.
The next morning he was awake for work before the alarm even went off. Took him about 20 seconds to get dressed and ready to go.
"What are you doing? Get back in bed you don't have to work anymore" his wife said.
"I'll be back in a bit. Just gotta go...erm...put my notice in."
Heading outside, he grabbed the hose and sprayed the crap down to make sure it was still fresh. And off to work he went. It was the first time he
could remember being excited on this drive.
At a stop light a young kid rolled down his window "hey man, your truck smells like sh!t"
"That's the smell of freedom, son" he replied.
He laughed to himself as the light turned green and the kid sped off.
He pulled into the large parking lot and saw exactly what he was looking for.
His bosses brand new Mercedes was parked in its little spot way up front marked by a sign with his name. Top down and everything.
He backed his truck right up to the beautiful German convertible. Hopped out and started shoveling the sh!t right in. All over the seats, the dash,
the controls. He made sure to splatter it hard inside the air vents. Every square inch was covered. The thought of feeling bad never crossed his mind.
The man was as bad as they come. He didn't give one iota of a damn about anyone who worded for him. An insignificant douche on a corporate power trip
who thought he was something special. Universally despised by everyone. Besides, the security cameras haven't worked in years.
He headed into the bathroom to wash up before going to the morning safety meeting. Everyone would be there.
The bosses finally walked in. One of the newer, younger guys read the safety rule. And then asked
"Does anyone have any concerns they'd like to address"
He stood up. He even chuckled a bit when the big boss gave him the stink eye for daring speak up. He was proud to be a thorn in that mans side.
"Yea I got something, FU#& YOU, F&*K YOU, YOU'RE COOL (pointing to the janitor), AND F* YOU I'M OUT!!!"
The room erupted with applause as he walked out of the room, right passed the gaping mouths of the speechless managers.
Getting back in this truck he thought it was about time to go trade the stinky ol' heap in.