Why do gay people have to announce coming out?

a reply to: Bluntone22

I identify as unidentifiable by others that are not myself, under any conditions.

To identify me, is to become me.

Wrap your head around that.

a reply to: Bluntone22

I’m not sure it was straight people who felt the need for a modifier to heterosexuality.


Everyone wants to feel , needed , included and normal..


That’s all that type of stuff is about.

Some things make sense, some do not.

a reply to: JustJohnny

I’m pretty sure you just said the movie trope of “to know your enemy you have to love him a little” or something similar. I forget

a reply to: JAGStorm

Because speaking out and making a clear statement is freeing.

This is why involuntary "outings" are so devastating to the one who is outed.

Normally you do not shout it out into the world, you tell it your close relatives so you do not have to play pretend. I was outed in my class by my half-sister, reading out loud from my diary, when I was 15. Not the kind of thing you want to go through, believe me.

I can only speak for myself but I do not want everyone in (my surrounding) public to know my sexual preferences. I think if someone comes clear about that, it is because of the constant pressure they get.

It is hard enough to try to integrate into a small catholic town if you color your hair red (witch!), are a single mother and "gay", even though I am not gay. Now clearing up that misunderstanding would do more harm. Even though, how do you do such a thing? Stand in front of the town house and shout "Hey I am actually bisexual, not gay, just to clear that up!!"

I would have prefer-ed that only my close family knows about this and if people get it from observations, that is fine. By that I am not talking about like observing me making up with the same sex in public places. Would not do that with a man either. Holding hands, a little kiss, sure.

It is not like people out themselves like "look I am gay/bi, see how wonderful and special I am". Except maybe for some celebrities that have to do it public, because they are a "public person".