When kitty worlds collide

A little over one year ago I recieved a call from my parents telling me they are finally going to sell their home, buy a motor home and travel. Although I was excited for them, I knew what was coming next. They no longer were going to be able to take care of my child hood cat that I had left at home.

I never wanted to take her from her own familiar neighborhood, and I knew if she lived with me she would never be a free outside cat again. I also have rescued 3 cats over the years of being out of the house. While I do miss her I wasn't happy about moving her across the country to live in my already pretty full house hold.

I took her in anyways because I knew if there were anyone that could show her the love she deserves, it's me and my family. What I didn't take into consideration was how my other cats would react to her arrival. I thought that it would be tough but I didnt realize how long this would last. I imagined that after she had been here for awhile my other females that are a few years younger than her would at least just leave her alone, but that hasnt been the case at all.

I watched alot of videos before she got here about introducing her into our home. So I set her up in a guest room with all of her own things. I used a few pet gates to make sure neither her or my other cats could really get at each other but could still see and smell one another. I followed all the things I learned online but after a whole year I still have to keep them separate. Anytime I'm not watching them closely and I have them all out at the same time, a huge fight breaks out. It has gotten to the point where she doesnt even want to come out anymore even if I have the others trapped on the other side of my house by a door that divides both halves of the house.

I'm running out of ideas, my worst fear is to wake up one morning and have one of them missing an eye or even worse (dead). Does anyone here have experience with this kind of thing? My cats have always slept with me and the wife, right now I rotate them throughout the week and I dont think any of them deserve to be put away just so the other can sleep with us.

Never thought I'd use my ats for this kind of thing but I was looking through the forums and saw 'pets' and thought what the hay, I'll see what happens.


Thanks ahead of time

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse

My pets have been reptiles, my sisters had rabbits.
So I have no direct dealings as a pet owner. . .

That said, my last rental before buying a house had three released Cats, as the owners, like you, did not want to remove them from their home.
The community accepted them in their semi-Ferrel state. They all got love, and they all had the ear notch to show they were fixed.

I do not think that is the responsible way to deal with them, but is is an option if you cannot keep the one with your others.

Your parents traveling RV will be short lived. Maybe a couple years. Like everyone else it will become a burden. The cats..... Well don't know what to tell you.

a reply to: randomtangentsrme

Thanks for the reply! I'm gunna sound like a crazy cat guy but I could literally never do that. It wouldn't be right, and I care too much for her. I still buy them special foods for Thanksgiving and get them Christmas gifts haha.

a reply to: Plotus

Thanks for the reply haha! I live a couple thousand miles away from them so the cat thing is one of the only ways it actually affects me.

Wish I had some advice for you. I'm dealing with the same situation. Our older female cat despises our younger female. She hisses and growls and swats the younger constantly and will not tolerate being close to her. Poor baby tries to be friendly, but grumpy's not having it. Thankfully the older kitty spends most of her time outside and the younger stays inside.

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse

Try cat pheremones, and perhaps even cat Prozac (if you go this route go to your local human pharmacy where the Prozac will be cheaper than what the vet gives you - it is the same exact stuff). These are the only things I can think of that will help.

Or, unfortunately, find an elderly person who wants to take in a loving and housebroken older cat. There are so many elderly people that want the companionship but not want to go through the kitten stages.

And, all cats are fixed? Sorry, I'm really tired and can't remember if you mentioned if they are or not which would make a huge difference.

Here is a link to cat pheromones that I used with my cats and it helped tremendously. www.feliway.com...

a reply to: Subrosabelow

I appreciate your reply. Even though you dont have the answer, you did at least help me feel a bit less lonely in this situation haha

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse
I don't know how to resolve the situation but my guess is this, the childhood cat was the only cat therefore the alpha cat. In the cats mind you deserted it and it is P.O. You come back and take the cat and how dare you have others (in the cats mind). Personally from my experience with cats you may never resolve this situation.

a reply to: hiddeninsite

Thank you! I'm going to have to look into this, and yes all of my cats are fixed. After you've experienced having to give away kittens to people who you dont trust or like, it's a must. I get way too attached

a reply to: PhilbertDezineck



I love the enthusiasm! She isnt the one that's starting the problems though. She is still as sweet as can be. My eldest female(except childhood cat) is the one who is having the most issues, and it is most likely an alpha situation. My childhood cat has never really challenged her though. She always respects her personal space. It's more of a bully situation childhood cat just fights back.

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse

Give Jackson a call.
In all seriousness I would search "My Cat From Hell" videos on YT. Say what you want about the guy but he has worked some Feline miracles, he is the Cat Whisperer.

I wish you luck, so does Orion.

and Cleopatra


ETA: We want to get another Cat, probably another Bengal. I have some fear about these 2 being gracious hosts. It will be a kitten but it is always a gamble. We have a happy home ATM, even with Sasha.

Please check out Jacksons videos.

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse

The only thing I can suggest is watching the Jackson Galazy videos, "My Cat From Hell." There are a few more steps you can take. It's a really common problem that he addresses frequently. You may need to add site swapping, feeding at same time on opposite side of gate (first from a "safe" distance), catification of your home (shelves for them to get up high away from each other, etc.)

a reply to: stosh64

Thank you for replying. You have some beautiful pets! I originally watched one of his videos on the subject, but as Drussell has pointed out I have failed to complete a specific step and maybe I should go back and watch again to see if I missed anything else.

a reply to: drussell41

Thanks for the reply! You are right! I think I should just go back and rewatch those videos. You made me realize that I may have skipped a couple steps, I just always had reservations about putting all three of my other cats in her room. They often go in there, but it's not usually for very long and it's never been without her still in there. So I guess like I said, i need to go back and do a refresher course.

We have multi-cat households for all of my adult life.

Once a few years ago, we had 3 elderly males and two younger females. Then one by one, those elderly males all passed. Thing was that we had total peace in the house even with one last decrepit old male whose daily routine was to more or less sleep his day away on his favorite pillow under the coffee table only coming out to use his litter box, eat, and get some scratches and loving before going back into hibernation.

But when he dies ...

WWIII broke out between those two females. They were trying to kill each other, and they had lived together for years!

I got my hand torn up trying to separate them.

We were at our wits end, and the only solution we could think of in the end was to get another male cat. So we did. We rescued a big male Ragdoll. He came in and we did all the proper things separating him and all that, and the fighting stopped and three days later, he was integrated like he'd always lived with us.

Now, I can't tell you that's maybe what you need -- a male to put your colony in order just by being there. But that's what stopped our fighting when we were down to just females.

a reply to: ketsuko

It's funny now that you mention it, my Male cat is the only one who seems to go in and out of her room as he pleases with no problems at all. I dont think he cares even one bit that shes there. Another male on the other hand might just open up a whole new can of worms. That and the fact that I'm cleaning cat boxes like nobody's business already haha. Thank you for the reply though, I appreciate it.

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse

Yeah, cats are funny things for sure. They form their colonies and associations and because they aren't pack animals, the social side of things is a bit more tricky with them than it is with dogs.

a reply to: ketsuko

Oh. And about getting your hand tore up. Yeah, I normally remedy cat fights with a few sniper mode squirts of a water bottle, but a couple of days ago I didn't have it around for some reason and a fight broke out. Needless to say going hand to hand with them was necessary, but not a good idea. My hand is all tore up, partially why I made this post.

a reply to: doctorhypotenuse

I used to have three cats,Molly,Max and Missy.Molly became afraid of Missy
and I had to separate them.Missy would try and hurt Molly if she saw her.
I was never able to get them back together again,I had to keep them apart.
You may not be able to get your cats to get along with each other after trying
for a year.