Feeling anxious about my job/career when I should be happy

It might be that you just aren't accustomed to feeling like you have power, or not accustomed to standing up for your worth? I'm betting you just feel nervous because you are standing up for your worth.

Good job!! And congrats 😊

originally posted by: Vector99

originally posted by: DanDanDat
a reply to: MisterSpock

I think your right about that, feeling guilty about acting in my self interest. It's not a normal part of my behavior. I hope the guilt passes with time.

Think of it this way, of they could give you the raise to keep you there, they could have been paying you that much the whole time, so basically they were screwing you.

I've been in similar situations in the hvac field, told every company that offered me a raise to stay they should have been paying me what I was worth from the start and I wouldn't be looking for a new company. Turned down more money twice out of principle, they should have paid me right from the start.

That's good point; one I've thought about the last few weeks as my current situation unfolded.

But I came to the conclusion that while what you said might be true in a lot of cases it doesn't always have to be true. For example I work for a big tech company; they can afford to pay a lot of people a lot of money, but they can't afford to pay all of their 80,000 employees a lot of money. How do they know which one's deserve more and which ones less, and which ones are being fairly compensated? They can use analytics to make sure their entire mix is correct and put in place one size fits all policies that try to make it fair for everyone; but on an individual level it gets a bit sticker. How do they know what my market value is until I go out and find out by getting other job offers? My immediate manager has a full time job managing department activites; it would be difficult doing the leg work to figure out exactly what each of his employees should be paid per market value. I can see how a reactionary stance is adapted over a proactive one; its so much easier.

You just performed what is in the business world called negotiation .
No problem there

a reply to: DanDanDat

Suspicious they think less of you to only give it to you after threatening to quit? If you hadn't? You wouldn't have it.****

***My former drummer-17 years w IT, did the same...and they fired him, taking all the credit for his work from 17yrs at the out of State home office.

You were lucky...but......? Good luck to you, watch your back, plan for the sudden....

a reply to: DanDanDat

And don't be deluded...yours, mine and their jobs...are for their benefit...Always.

Extortion got my friend dumped at 17 yrs...as I said in my reply above...do not be blind or unaware of your companies "practices"

Every time I try to quit they offer me more money, I accept, not because of the money but the look of sheer horror on my employers face. They know losing me will do a lot of damage to the company.

Training someone new to replace me at the moment (but they don't know that).
Just hanging in till she can stand on her own 2 feet and then I'm bolting.

I'm not here for the money. A job should never be about money unless you're dirt poor and flipping burgers.
You feel anxious because you didn't do the right thing, you didn't put your own happiness first.

Neither did I, but there's a time and a place. Just waiting till the time is right and we're at the right place.

a reply to: DanDanDat

This is to you and everyone else out there that needs to hear it.

Know your worth. Too many people don't really understand what they are worth to a company, and basically waste their best years.

Know that money isn't everything. Working with a good boss, nice coworkers is sometimes worth it's weight in gold.
Also look at overall compensation. Sometimes benefits really make a substantial difference.

Back in the day I remember talking to a coworker. She was complaining about what she made. We did the same job but I made a considerable amount more than her. I was never afraid to speak up and ask for more during promotions/raises. You know what? I got an increase EVERY time. Sometimes is was only half what I asked for, but I got it every time. I think it is especially hard for women to ask for more money.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I agree JAG; knowing your market value is important.

For last 10 years or so I've made myself go on at least one or two job interviews every few years just to see what others are willing to pay me. Up until now other companies in the area couldn't/wouldn't compete with my current employer; Even the company that wants to hire me now couldn't meet my salary requirements in 2015. But going on the interviews, even if they didn't bare fruit, always came in handy when I would ask for more from my current employer.

Keeping good tabs on the work product of others in your company also helps when it comes time to talk about your future expectations with your employer. Its not good enough to say "my work is better than XYZ person". You have to explain how you are more valuable in terms the company uses "the voluntary six sigma project I just completed will save the company 1,900,000 in cost avoidance over the next 3 years ... here's the power point ... XYZ simply completed his expected tasks" is much more persuasive.

a reply to: DanDanDat

Congratulations! You are in an enviable situation.

Perhaps you are feeling 'odd' because the situation is at odds with years of conditioning by schooling and society at large to be a good little worker bee, never asking for any or causing any discomfort to management.

Take yourself out for dinner.