Basketball Player Uses Girlfriend's Urine to Fake Drug Test, Finds Out He's Pregnant

From the "You're Doing It Wrong" Files --

So when you're trying to test in to becoming a pro basketball player, it's probably not the best idea to use a pregnant woman's urine in place of your own.

D.J. Cooper, a former Ohio University star who’s played professionally in Europe, is currently suspended by FIBA after using someone else’s urine for a doping test — a sample which showed Cooper was pregnant, according to Eurohoops.net.

I suppose that's one way to find out about your impending good news when your urine tests positive for human chorionic gonadotropin hormone which comes from the placenta during pregnancy.



A little surprising if you can't really have a placenta in the first place though.

If you connect the dots from what the couple had to have been doing to get pregnant in the first place to the decision to use her urine and what stands to reason is that reason wasn't used at all.

That is, of course, unless the child isn't his.

If that's the case, this story might be enough to get Jerry Springer to revive his old show for at least one episode.

And that chaser would be a real surprise wouldn't it? Oh dear ....

a reply to: ketsuko

Talk about a double whammy... The guy turns in piss thinking he's all good. Results come back in he's pregnant (aka his girl), which then gets him automatically suspended from the team.. lol

a reply to: ketsuko

I read that this morning and laughed my butt off!

Congratulations you passed, and you're preggo!

buhahahahah

a reply to: ketsuko

Congratulations!
You passed your drug test and gained child support payments..

It made me laugh. It's what he deserves for cheating.

He should have told them that he is a different gender.

originally posted by: visitedbythem
He should have told them that he is a different gender.

No! I am the world's first transgender pro basketball player and Cory Booker guaranteed he would fight for my right to choose. How dare my girlfriend get me pregnant?! I demand an abortion! Don't you dare tell me she can't get me pregnant. Did you just assume her gender?

originally posted by: visitedbythem
He should have told them that he is a different gender.

That may well be what "he" did as he is just suspended and not terminated.

a reply to: ketsuko

Aren’t you racist for using that genderfying term “pregnant”??

He is simply, “With child” and should be arrested for child endangerment for using drugs while preggers!

May take the child away and place in protective services!!

/sarcasm off

How messed up can you “tell the narrative” of this news item?? Lord help us if Trey and Matt take it and run!

*tears*

OMG!!!! That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. You can’t make this stuff up. Thx for that post, I needed a good laugh today.

a reply to: ketsuko

Whilst i found this entirely hysterical when i read about it, can anyone please explain to me why it took 2 years to ban him? As soon as it came back pregnant he had literally no defence - he was obviously trying to cheat on a drug test.

Regardless of reasons, if you are trying to cheat a drug test as a professional athlete then you have broken regulations and get a ban.

a reply to: Flavian

You'll have to ask the good people over in Europe why they didn't ban him.