Good morning, ATS;
As a preface to this thread, please refrain from adding to this conversation with platitudes concerning my well being. That is not the purpose of the
thread, so thank you anyway.
I consider myself an average to above average human being. I’m in my second military career, now Army, and have only three years until retirement.
It has been mostly fulfilling, although my last deployment was quite rough. When I got back from the great litter box in the sky, I found that I was
very anxious. Thus I was encouraged to try a drug called
, which did indeed clear up my anxiety. To
be fair, it worked so well that I was able to stabilize the med and use it for three and a half years, during which time I regularly forgot to take
it, experienced no side effects, and was in generally great health. Fast forward to 1 year ago, my annual physical. With new providers (I had
PCS’ed) I was made to review my medical regimen. The problem that arose? The Military now saw that medicine (and most
) as being addictive, and with unnatural side effects. So
I was ordered to stop taking them and to see a military psychologist for a new diagnosis and meds, if needed. And my sad adventure began...
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI) have been around for for quite a while, and for the last 40 years they have been the go to medication
for depression, bipolar and anxiety. They say the minimal risk that comes with them is overshadowed by their
, whereas I will now argue that the risk
overshadows the success.
The military put me on 51 medications in the last 11 months, with the final list topping out at 22 medications post surgery (hip reconstruction a few
months ago), and 11 medication two weeks ago, some of which were treating side effects of those that were treating side effects of the SSRI’s. It
was that Saturday night that I took my medications and held a bottle of a sleep medication in my hands, staring into it for a good thirty seconds.
Down the hatch.....
I’ve only two days ago been released from the hospital, and experience that was both sobering and depressing. My 2.5 kids, my wife, I almost lost it
all. But why? Why did I swallow that bottle? Was it the chronic pain? Was it the work stress? Or how about the pressures related to the upcoming
The scariest part is that I never wanted to, intended to, or felt like I had to take those pills. It just happened.
So now what? Let’s address two things- the over-medication, and the end result of the attempt.
Suicide is a scary subject- my risk factors make it the most likely form of death for me over the next decade. And although preventable, what can I do
if those whom I trust with my care don’t bother to accurately track what is happening to me?
And now that I am a suicide risk? I guess no guns for me. At least that’s what I see being posted on this site... all because some guy who outranks
me pushes pills down my throat. I will lose my security clearance, and beg for a chance to have a job with any meaning... all because meds were
forced on me...
So what are we supposed to do? Is this a plan to pacify those veterans that are a risk to the government?
I’m glad I failed, but I am worried about the reason I tried in the first place.