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Laugh About Dying John Paul II - Bad Humour now Hate Speech

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posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 03:48 PM
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Polish-American Congress official Frank Milewski: "I would say it's hate speech - a most extreme example of hate speech."



Since when is bad humor hate speech? I can't begin to fathom what in the hell is happening. When we all hate something we say bad jokes about it and it's not hate speech it's funny. Exactly. If you don't like the pope the following 52 lines are funny. But if you like the pope then it's "Hate Speech"?? I think not!!

Published in the New York Press

Matt Taibbi
The 52 Funniest Things About The Upcoming Death of The Pope
52.Pope pisses himself just before the end; gets all over nurse.

51.After death, saggy, furry tits of dead Pope begin inexorable process of melting away into nothingness, like coldest of Sno-cones under faintest of suns.

50.Pope survives just long enough to be acquired by Isiah Thomas for Stephon Marbury, 2005 #1 pick and cash considerations. "We feel like we've made ourselves younger and more competitive," Thomas says.

49.After beating for the last time, Pope's heart sits there like a piece of hamburger.

48.Whole world waiting until the last minute for a sudden improvement of his condition. Long lines of girls in the Philippines kneeling and praying. Catholics everywhere with ears pressed to radios, transfixed. Pope gives one last groan, spits, dies.

47.Upon death, Pope's face frozen in sickening smile, eyes wide open and teeth exposed, like a baboon.

46.Beetles eating Pope's dead brains.

45.Pope departs Earth at a time when Hitch is top-grossing movie in the world.

44.Gurgling sound during embalming process; real fluids in dead Pope's body sucked out into jars.

43.POV Dead Pope: Last glimpse of overcast Italian sky as coffin lid closes for last time.

42.Get used to that quiet sound.

41.Humming old Polish folk song in there. That kills three minutes.

40.Humming it again, this time getting the words right. Another three minutes.

39.Can't move. Can't reach penis.

38.Somebody taking my job. My job!

37.Getting a little stuffy.

36.Naming all the different types of fish. Flounder, halibut, perch, goldfish, basking shark...no, do the sharks separately...really stuffy in here, gar, swordfish, manta ray, eels... No, don't think about eels. Eels are scary. Boy, is it dark in here. Four minutes gone by.

35.Doctor applies fingers to neck to check expiring Pope's pulse. Pope's ear falls off.

34.In heaven, Pope keeps wrapping cars around telephone poles.

33.Silverfish pops out of dead Pope's vestment for a moment, immediately ducks back in.

32.Priest who administers last rites to Pope excitedly calls mother afterward to tell her how well it went.

31.Dead Pope, still with baboon face, wheeled through corridors of Gemelli Polyclinic in Rome, learns answer to Great Mystery.

30.Michael Jackson too broke to buy Pope's bones.

29.New Pope inevitably ambitious cleric burning with earthly vigor and secret desire to undo dead Pope's legacy.

28.Bears everywhere #ting in woods.

27.We'll never get to hear his hilarious post-tracheotomy rendition of "Come on Eileen."

26.Pope recovers and survives until 2009; New York Press columnist Matt Taibbi beheaded by passing garbage truck, March 2, 2005.

25.LexisNexis search on phrase "the inner workings of the Vatican are shrouded in mystery" temporarily crashes system; Eric Alterman unable to search for press references to "What Liberal Media?" for 37 consecutive hours.

24.Pope spends last hours surrounded by cardinals who stand glaring at him with folded arms, silently reminding him of the political necessity of clinging to life.

23.Doctors examining the body discover that the Pope was not only a woman, but also Hitler.

22.Mankind scrambles to choose new leader of inflexible, sexually morbid institutional anachronism; heretofore anonymous bureaucrat will instantly be celebrated as world's holiest man as he travels to AIDS-stricken Africa to denounce the use of condoms.

21.Telltale white smoke emitting from Vatican chimneys announces a) choice of new Pope, and b) the fiery death of the 5000 back issues of Manscape and Hung Inches that had accumulated in the Vatican lobby.

20.Hall and Oates mulling comeback.

19.To the end, the Pope could only think of the poor and the downtrodden.

18.When he died, he stopped thinking of the poor and the downtrodden, and his face was frozen in that baboon smile, and he thought of nothing at all.

17.In his last days, the Pope was in tremendous pain.

16.NBC Nightly News intern pulls wrong tape from drawer full of long-ago archived video obits; world thinks Boris Yeltsin has died, wonders why Brian Williams is calling him an "inspirational spiritual leader."

15.Williams, after broadcast: "Who's Boris Yeltsin?"

14.Matt Lauer to Williams: "He wrote the Contract for America."

13.Just before death, Pope sits up in his bed, shrieks, his body bursts into flames; everyone runs from the room.

12.Sequoia, birch, maple, willow, palm, oak, pine, fir, maple?No, wait, I said maple already...

11.Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal...

10.You dirty rat. You dirty, double-crossing rat... Proxima estacion: Tibidabo. Tenga cuidado de las puertas deslizantes... It means woods and blanche means white, so the two together mean white woods... L'鴡t? c'est moi! Don't think about eels, don't think about eels...

9.Bush on the tragic event: "Our thoughts and prayers go out to this great man and all of his many children."

8.Bush continued: "He touched all of us in places no one else could reach."

7. According to ancient tradition, the slamming shut of the Bronze Door in St. Peter's Square announces the death of the Pope.

6.Normal Vatican schedule closes that door at 8 p.m. every night and reopens it in the morning.

5.According to numerous reports, if the Pope dies at night this time, no one will know what to do. (This is not a joke.)

4.In 1958, reporters paid off Pope Pius XII's physician to throw open the hospital room window when the Pope died.

3.When a monsignor threw the window open to get some air, the Pope's death was erroneously reported all over the world.

2.This is what happens when weird old men in dresses communicate with the world with doors and chimneys.

1.Throw a marble at the dead Pope's head. Bonk!


EDIT: Title, to avoid annoying arguements that lead nowhere like on the bottom of page 2 and top of page 3

[edit on 4-3-2005 by 00PS]




posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 03:56 PM
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While the Pope isn't my pope or my connection to God or religion, I read all those lines and didn't find any one of them to be funny.

I wouldn't go as far as to call that "hate speech" but it is pretty damn tasteless and stupid.



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:01 PM
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Originally posted by worldwatcher
While the Pope isn't my pope or my connection to God or religion, I read all those lines and didn't find any one of them to be funny.

I wouldn't go as far as to call that "hate speech" but it is pretty damn tasteless and stupid.


Yeah I don't disagree with you. But I know some people who are so Anti Religion they will laugh their arses off at that kinda stuff. Call them sick, call them demented. But that kind of speech isn't hate speech. It's not there to stir up peoples emotions to act violently against a group of people.

They are just tasteless, senseless jokes...which most jokes that are tasteless and senseless seem to be funny....like "your momma is so stupid she _________(fill in the blank) Ever heard those jokes?? Just when they're about the Pope they're not funny.

p.s. my favorite your mom is so stupid joke is this one

You mom is so stupid she stared at a box of orange juice for ten hours cuz it said concentrate!!



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:05 PM
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Originally posted by worldwatcher
While the Pope isn't my pope or my connection to God or religion, I read all those lines and didn't find any one of them to be funny.

I wouldn't go as far as to call that "hate speech" but it is pretty damn tasteless and stupid.



Agreed. Nothing funny in there to me. Kinda 4th grade humor (if that), but surely tasteless. Hate speech? Nah, not really.



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:08 PM
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I'm going to agree that those aren't even jokes. Now I have as sick and black a sense of humor as they come, but the only humor I can see possibly extracted from those lines is a 'Oh my god! I can't believe he said that in public' type of humor. It is the shock value deal again when you can't even think of anything cleverly sarcastic to say.

"Throw a marble at the dead Pope's head. Bonk!"


Am I missing the set-up for that joke?



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:11 PM
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Originally posted by Jonna
I'm going to agree that those aren't even jokes. Now I have as sick and black a sense of humor as they come, but the only humor I can see possibly extracted from those lines is a 'Oh my god! I can't believe he said that in public' type of humor. It is the shock value deal again when you can't even think of anything cleverly sarcastic to say.

"Throw a marble at the dead Pope's head. Bonk!"


Am I missing the set-up for that joke?


Actually that's one of the funniest ones haha Bonk!!!

Really, it's because of such ingrained reverance and respect for that man that we don't think it's funny. What if we said it about Bush. If you love him you hate that kinda of joke and would call it hate speech but if you hate him you would laugh your arse off.

Throw a marble at the dead president's head...Bonk! I see some humour there.


Odd

posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:12 PM
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post deleted, that was a pretty mean thing for me to say. I apologize.

[edit on 3/4/2005 by Odd]



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:13 PM
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Originally posted by Odd
here's some non-hate-related humour for you:

Q: how many pornography-addicted schoolteachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: just you.

creep.


That's hilarious
I am a pornography addicted school teacher. What are you??



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 04:40 PM
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He's in the corner...what is another matter...



I think there were several funny ones that went unappreciated so I'm going to reitterate them.

47.Upon death, Pope's face frozen in sickening smile, eyes wide open and teeth exposed, like a baboon.

That's hilarious because you never see the pope's eyes. He's like one of those stupid mop dogs, but instead of fur, it's flesh.

41.Humming old Polish folk song in there. That kills three minutes.

That's another good one. What's he going to do now that he's trapped in a box for eternity? Probably not nearly so rewarding as he imagined...He's in there for eons waiting for God to come pick him up like his bodyguards and nannies and advisors did on earth...

26.Pope recovers and survives until 2009; New York Press columnist Matt Taibbi beheaded by passing garbage truck, March 2, 2005.

This one is totally funny also.

16.NBC Nightly News intern pulls wrong tape from drawer full of long-ago archived video obits; world thinks Boris Yeltsin has died, wonders why Brian Williams is calling him an "inspirational spiritual leader."

I would delight in taping that mistake and preserving the humorous blooper for posterity. I can see some other faces up there too..LOL "He touched millions of children around the world " --> cue Michael Jackson footage. LOL Totally funny you guys.

9.Bush on the tragic event: "Our thoughts and prayers go out to this great man and all of his many children."

8.Bush continued: "He touched all of us in places no one else could reach."

Those two I can imagine happening, oh well, just more material for next year's calendar, to once again prove he's completely lost the speaking ability he had as a young man. It's called early onset dementia. LOL That too is funny.


It is tasteless, and most of it is markedly NOT funny. There were a few gems though...

In general I can't believe someone would bother to classify this as anything, hate speech or otherwise. This was in print you say? And I can't get work...



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 05:53 PM
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If you replace the word pope with 'homo' or 'negro' it would be hate speech. But it's okay to make fun of the right as long as your the left but not vice versa.
Liberal hypocrite



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 05:58 PM
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Believe me I'm far from being a supporter of the Pope or the Roman Catholic Church, but I find these jokes to be totally devoid of humor, tasteless and offensive.



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:10 PM
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Really nothing but very bad humor, poor taste, and that's about it.

I'm a former Catholic, I don't support the pope, I was neither hurt nor did I laugh.

Well, that's a lie; this one made me chuckle, a little:


9.Bush on the tragic event: "Our thoughts and prayers go out to this great man and all of his many children."


If that's hate speech though, we're all in a world of trouble.

X



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:14 PM
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Tastless jokes directed at Muslims are hate speech?
Tastless jokes about Jews are hate speech?
What justifys the same stuff directed at Christians?


Lets hear the justification to hate joke about christians and not jews, muslims, hindus?



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:19 PM
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Originally posted by Kinja
Tastless jokes directed at Muslims are hate speech?
Tastless jokes about Jews are hate speech?
What justifys the same stuff directed at Christians?


Lets hear the justification to hate joke about christians and not jews, muslims, hindus?


we're not joking about christianity, we're joking about the pope

if you are a black jew and I joke about you it doesn't mean I am speaking

hatefully about blacks and jews does it?



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:21 PM
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Just like this...

If I say Geroge Bush is an Idiot

I am not saying

All of America is Idiotic



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:33 PM
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Originally posted by 00PS
Just like this...

If I say Geroge Bush is an Idiot

I am not saying

All of America is Idiotic


Not all jokes are directed at this particular Pope, John Paul II, some are at the vatican, another at Pope Pius, most blandly at the Pope in general.
I'll rephrase....
Tastless jokes directed at Muslims are hate speech?
Tastless jokes about Jews are hate speech?
What justifys the same stuff directed at Catholics?
Lets hear the justification to hate joke about Catholics and not jews, muslims, hindus?



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:46 PM
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Hate speech (a terribly unclear term [pseudo-legal hogwash]) Speech intended to hurt, intimidate, or to incite violence against a person or group, usually because of an inocuous aspect of their character, like race, creed, or religion.

Christians... Relax! If you really thought we were going to burn in hell for all eternity you wouldn't care what we said. The problem is you're unsure of your own belief, and you're taking it out on those who have the sense to laugh at life. Just because you're scared of hell doesn't mean we have to be. LOL C'mon...

Laughing at someone elses superstition, history, beliefs, lifestyle, whatever; that's not hate speech, that's humour! If the jokes advocated feeding Christians to lions, it would be a stretch but might be considered hate speech. This though..nothing of the sort.

The above applies to everyone who thinks their cause, creed, or religion is above a joke.

These jokes were tasteless, yes. But you can't legislate taste in America. Why would you want to anyway?



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:48 PM
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Let me clarify my comments...I feel that this is offensive, tasteless etc. however I do see it as protected speech under the first amendment of our constitution since it doesn't present a clear and present danger to anyone.


dh

posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:54 PM
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Yeah well there's nothing really funny about the moving on of an old rucker who's best gone
The hate speech is only a sense of relief for the living
Of course the Cardinals will only cook up a bad replacement



posted on Mar, 4 2005 @ 06:57 PM
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Sorry Kinja all of these jokes 52 of them are about the upcoming death of the current pope, this is no place for your debate...start another thread.



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