Pulled a knife on a guy who tried to light me on fire tonight...

originally posted by: Boadicea
No, you've gone from he's not a pervert, he's just drunk, to now it's not even a crime. Wrong. We can start with battery and move up from there. But I get it... you'll make any excuse for the creepy creeper and then backtrack when you can't back up your crap.

False. I said it wasn't sexual assault like you keep harping on. That is a distinction I've been very clear on.

She had every reason not to trust this man mauling her...

Merely not trusting someone is not cause to brandish a weapon. If that were a legitimate cause, half the country would be at knifepoint at any given moment of the day.

You mean like telling him no and pushing him away? You mean those kinds of less dangerous methods? Those methods that are less dangerous for the perp, but not the victim? Because he'll back off then?

Your reading comprehension sucks big time. She said nothing first, she pulled out a knife first. Here, try reading this fishy tale again for clarity:

And I'm already annoyed because nobody will let me concentrate and my anxiety is off the walls tonight... then this guy gets all touchy-feely, putting his hands on me, laying on me, all that.

So, I took a deep breath and pulled out my panda knuckles. For those who don't know, I carry a pocketknife that's stylistically designed to look like brass knuckles, and it has a panda design on it.

I push the knife toward him and firmly told him to leave me the f*ck alone. I smiled and I told him this is what I do to people who don't leave me the f*ck alone.

Any man that would further escalate such a situation after being made clear his attention is unwanted is a man that would use violent force under any circumstances.

Re-read the above, pulled straight from the OP. Clearly, he didn't continue, since her idea of saying "Hands off, bozo" was to immediately flash a blade. He pulled out a dud lighter in return, evidently the best he had to defend himself against a knife-wielding crazy-ass.

Now you're just re-writing the story. The guy was kicked out of the bar after molesting other women... he came back. Where he knew he was not welcome. Where he knew he would be trespassing and committing yet another crime.

Again, FALSE. Her words again:

So I pushed him toward the door and opened it, and I guided him inside at knifepoint. Long story short, he got kicked out...

At no point prior to that does she say he was given the boot. YOU are doing plenty of rewriting of your own regarding that, however.

originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Nyiah

Says the one who can't/won't stop obsessing about a woman being attacked and won't stop piling on the victim... but she just wants some "street cred"?

I can only imagine what you're getting out of this... and it disgusts me.

This from someone who's spent the better part of the day frothing at the mouth, eagerly, over a wannabe tough girl's sketchy claims of pulling a weapon on someone armed with a borked lighter on a bar's "empty" porch where people had people giving her a headache all night.

I can only imagine what kind rise you're getting out of it.

a reply to: Nyiah

Whatever. I lost respect for your opinion in this thread a long time ago. I won't encourage it any longer.

I applaud this woman's courage and preparation and strength of character. I hope more and more women learn to do the same. And I hope more and more men learn to keep their hands (and everything else) to themselves. I will applaud every one.

a reply to: Boadicea

And I hope more and more men learn to keep their hands (and everything else) to themselves. I will applaud every one.

Nice framing of all men.

a reply to: AntonGonist

If I wanted to say "all" men, I very well would have. I did not. I said what I meant and I meant what I said.

Do you know the definition of the word "more"? Because, actually, by using the word "more," I cannot be saying that I think "all" men need to learn. In fact, I am clearly stating that there are already men who know to keep their hands where they belong, and I want more to learn to be one of the good guys.

So big fail. Says a whole lot more about you than me that you jumped to the "all" men whine...

So I went to a rowdy bar on a Friday night to get some writing done...

... said no writer ever.

I bet she got arrested.

originally posted by: Bone75
So I went to a rowdy bar on a Friday night to get some writing done...

... said no writer ever.

I used to do that a lot, actually.

But for writing poetry and songs, definitely not stories.

a reply to: Boadicea

Do you know the definition of the word "more"?

Do you know what framing means?

Because, actually, by using the word "more," I cannot be saying that I think "all" men need to learn.

But I didnt say you literally said that. By saying, "I hope that more and more men......" you are implying that it is common for men to not keep their hands to themselves.

Such toxic femininity. Keep it up and I am sure no man will ever touch you again.

a reply to: Boadicea

You apparently don't read very well (and I'm surprised actually, because I thought you did). If you'll notice the sentence immediately before the one you quoted, it says...I wonder what the "future holds".

I guess you missed that part, eh? Or, perhaps it was more convenient to skip that part.

In any case, next time you care to quote me, please make sure you do so in context...NOT out of context like the MSM seems to do every day!

Until then...POWER TO THE WIMMIN'S!! HOO-AHH!! MEN BAD! (well, that's exactly how you've come off on this thread, disappointingly so).

This never would have happened if she was in the kitchen making sammiches.

Totally preventable.

a reply to: AntonGonist

But I didnt say you literally said that. By saying, "I hope that more and more men......" you are implying that it is common for men to not keep their hands to themselves.

So many linguistic gymnastics... I am implying nothing. I am outright saying that too many men -- as demonstrated in this very thread and by you -- think it's okay to put your grubby paws where they don't belong and women have to be nice and pleasant about it. I am not saying all men, I am not saying most men, I am saying too many. And we don't have to be nice. We don't have to wait and see just how big a thug you are.

What's the saying? Better to be judged by 12 than mauled by one? I'm paraphrasing, but I just know it's something like that.

Such toxic femininity.

Only toxic to creepy creepers and violent sex offenders and misogynists... but thank you. ***Badge of Honor*** right there!

Keep it up and I am sure no man will ever touch you again.

LOL!!! Thank you again... Hubby and I got a good belly laugh out of that!!! Gotta love a good belly laugh, right?

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

If your words can't stand on their own merit, then it's your bad -- not mine.

You created a false equivalent scenario and you know it. I just highlighted it.

a reply to: Boadicea

In fact, I am clearly stating that there are already men who know to keep their hands where they belong, and I want more to learn to be one of the good guys.

Right, because men are sex offenders by nature but you can house-train some.........

Gotta love a good belly laugh, right?

What size?

originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

If your words can't stand on their own merit, then it's your bad -- not mine.

You created a false equivalent scenario and you know it. I just highlighted it.

Seriously? Do you have short-term memory loss or something? In my last post in this thread, I point out exactly where you were twisting words and outright putting 'em in the OP when they weren't to begin with, seemingly to further your own personal femmie agenda. Which, following your lead, cant stand on it's own without manipulating what was said.

And you have the stones to say FCD's words have no merit of their own? Look who's talking.

a reply to: AntonGonist

You are soooooooo sad and pathetic... and keep doubling down on it. Oh dear.

Right, because men are sex offenders by nature but you can house-train some.........

Please just stop. You aren't doing men in general any favors, exactly the opposite. You are the one who keeps portraying all men as beasts who cannot control themselves. Not me. Stop trying to drag all men down to your level, which is even worse than the silly Gillette Toxic Masculinity ad. Most men don't deserve this. Most men do have a basic level of respect and decency and common courtesy that extends to everyone -- men and women, boys and girls -- especially themselves. They wouldn't act like a rutting bull because they respect themselves too much and refuse to be that person.

What size?

Oh how cute! Trying to shame my weight? Sorry -- you lose! We are both the healthy size. Neither of us is overweight, we are both physically active, and eat right. My hubby is still quite the hunk... and my curves are still in all the right places. We're looking damn good

originally posted by: RandomPerson
I’m with ignorant_ape on this one.

Disregarding the fact that you chose an establishment known for people being belligerent to get your alone writing time and the fact that you got annoyed for people being outgoing in a place that is used exactly for being outgoing, you were the first to draw a weapon. Dude flicked his lighter at you in return.

You should retitle your thread. “I was at a bar trying to get alone time, and I pulled a knife on a drunk guy”

May be too long to fit. Better shorten it to “I fought off a rapist who tried to light me on fire”

LOL. This establishment is MY place, and people rarely fight here. Most of these people know me and due to an unconventional living situation, I don't have a lot of options for places to go.

And anyway... what's your point? Are you seriously trying to spin this in the sexual molester's favor? Good on you, I guess.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

originally posted by: Boadicea

originally posted by: Hecate666
a reply to: Boadicea

Exactly, any normal bloke would have punched his lights out at this point, which would have been assault. She merely pointed and said words, and yet the man-boobs on this site find this unacceptable and start insults.


SMH

Yup. And we both know they'd be howling like banshees if it were their girlfriend or mother or sister it happened to. But somehow when a woman is put in a vulnerable and dangerous position by a sex offender, she's in the wrong for protecting herself. I don't know what some people are thinking, but that can behavior escalates quickly and dangerously. Just like it did. He didn't even back off when she did act in her own defense, but became even more aggressive. As if he had some right to enjoy her body. Ugh. Just so freaking creepy.

She did the right thing. It could have been so much worse.

I hope she comes back. She sure didn't need or deserve this crap on ATS. The abuse at the bar wasn't enough. Nope. The misogynists here had to pile on.

Good job, dudes

The guy is a sex offender now...like really. For crying out loud enough already. Why is this woman in a bar and drawing knives on people,why the # are you defending such reckless behavior.

Actually, this only happened to me after he tried to feel up on the other girls in the bar and got reprimanded for it. Did you miss the part about a giant fight breaking out over this guy's behavior? He was putting his hands on girls all night. He also didn't seem to care when I told him to go away and leave me alone, and he was trying to pick a fight with the other girls' father, too.

You can call it reckless, but he deserved it. Quite honestly, he was harassing everyone in the place and he deserves worse, but believe it or not, I'm not that violent a soul. My bartender can handle the ass-woopins.

a reply to: Boadicea

Fair enough... but only as far as it goes. When that arm "draped" around the shoulder doesn't allow for the person to walk away, then it's not just "draped," and it's not just unwanted contact, but forced contact, and therefore violent

That’s two comments in a row that you’re arguing against points I’m not making. Putting your arm around somebody is not violent assault. That’s my point. Putting your arm around somebody and preventing them from being able to remove themselves is something else entirely, and a point I didn’t even attempt to establish.

Got handsy" means that he had hands where they didn't belong. Call it Girl Code if you want. But in these parts, among the women I know, "handsy" means hands touching, fondling, grabbing and otherwise putting hands on private parts. Laying on top could refer to him putting his body across her lap, or she could have been pushed/knocked down in the process. You're right that we don't know. However, we do know that his hands violating her body progressed to his body violating her body.

And in my experience it means anything from any unwanted touching to touching sexual organs. It’s still ambiguous.

We know he violated her person. We know the violations escalated. We know the OP felt fear for her safety. We know she acted only to stop the violation of her body and made no attempt to violate his body. We know she gave him every chance to say "Ooops! Sorry!" and back off. We know he did not back off, but attempted further violence on her person.

We know she says that’s what happened, and nothing more. For all we know this is a thought experiment.

I have questioned that also. Would that be regional? By state?

It’s by state, and brass knuckles are illegal in Nevada.

But you're talking about a situation in which she lied about what happened, and that's a whole different story. And however likely or unlikely it seems, it could be exactly as she said.

And you’re talking about a situation in which she told the absolute truth. What’s the difference between my scenario and yours as far as hypotheses go? Yes, it could be exactly as she said. Or it could be entirely made up. Either is as likely as the other because it’s a story with only anecdotal evidence.

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

Did you miss the part about a giant fight breaking out over this guy's behavior?

I think everybody missed it because all you said was people were yelling about it.

He also didn't seem to care when I told him to go away and leave me alone,

That’s new.

My bartender can handle the ass-woopins.

Your story indicates otherwise, especially with your most recent additions to the original story.

originally posted by: Shamrock6
a reply to: Boadicea

That’s two comments in a row that you’re arguing against points I’m not making.

Hence why I feel the need to make them. Because I do consider them pertinent points.

Putting your arm around somebody is not violent assault. That’s my point. Putting your arm around somebody and preventing them from being able to remove themselves is something else entirely, and a point I didn’t even attempt to establish.

Okay. You are not attempting to make that point, but I am. I'm trying to address when bad manners becomes battery and/or assault.... and therefore when and if she has the right to protect and defend herself with force.

And in my experience it means anything from any unwanted touching to touching sexual organs. It’s still ambiguous.

Fair enough. And in an investigatory role, that is what you would have to establish. Well, to the best of your ability.

And you’re talking about a situation in which she told the absolute truth.

You are right about that. I am addressing the situation and circumstances without question for the most part. But I also understand that would not be acceptable or practical if I was addressing this as an LEO. So I do appreciate the difference, and the fact that you are doing so. Even if I am being difficult.

LOL. Self defense = batsh!t basketcase. Yet I'm the one giving women a bad name. Shoulda just rolled over and made him a sandwich I guess.

Did it ever cross your mind to dissuade him while heading indoors for employee back-up before shoving a weapon in someone's face??

Well, considering he was running his hands over me and laying on my arm (trying to lay on my chest), I kinda had to persuade him to get the f*** off me first. If you bothered to read the whole OP, you'd know that getting the bartender was my top priority. If that wasn't the case, I'd be in jail right now.

Boad, with all do respect, that's not a sex offender, that's a plastered person. Even women commit this kind of behavior 3 sheets to the wind-- including the clearly pregnant one that slurred and groped her way all over my husband on a date.

Intoxication isn't an excuse. I've been too drunk to stand many a time, and not once did I sexually assault anyone. Oh, and you're blatantly wrong; this guy was grabbing on other women before he found me. He is literally certifiable as a sex offender.

But I'm curious to know what you did to the horny pregnant slut. Sat there and gave her evil looks?

Sometimes action is necessary, and if you can't accept that, you're the one making women look bad. Should we all give off the impression that we'll roll over and obey whatever any idiot guy requests? Or girl, for that matter. I've seen the kind of women you're talking about, and I find them just as disgusting and desperate as the men who act this way.

Gender isn't the issue. Basic personal boundaries play a role here. Man, woman, gorilla - I don't care. If you cross my damn boundaries, you're asking for retribution.