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[Velma and Lucy drop Thomas and Victor at the bus station] Velma: You guys got your passports? Thomas Builds-the-Fire: Passports? Velma: Yeah, you're leavin' the rez and goin' into a whole different country, cousin. Thomas Builds-the-Fire: But... but, it's the United States. Lucy: Damn right it is! That's as foreign as it gets. Hope you two have your vaccinations. [All laugh]
[first lines] Dave: Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt.
Dave: Say you have an ax - just a cheap one from Home Depot.
[slow zoom in on man chopping]
Dave: On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man's already dead. Maybe you should worry, 'cause you're the one who shot him. He'd been a big twitchy guy with veined skin stretched over swollen biceps, tattoo of a swastika on his tongue. And you're chopping off his head because even with eight bullets in him, you're pretty sure he's about to spring back to his feet and eat the look of terror right off your face.
Well, it's not the Men in your life that count, it's the Life in your Men.
-Sheriff Buford T. Justice
“There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!”
originally posted by: pronto
a reply to: DBCowboy
roy rogers show
dale evans asks a child about being on her own
the child replies
your never on your own if you know JESUS
out of the mouths of babes
a wacko moment for me
hoppy to california after california first wounds a bloke in the leg and as he limps away cali
plugs him dead
you should be ashamed of yerself shooting a wounded man
why i was just trying to be humane
you shoot a horse with a broken leg
mate there are a million one liners in the old westerns
back to me beer