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The Shed 23

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posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 06:55 AM
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a reply to: Skid Mark

Lol no, but now I am going to start.




posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 07:07 AM
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originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: Finspiracy
It sounds like you're saying that drinking has been disruptive in your life. Did that feel like it happened all at once, or little by little?


I have been contemplating about this a lot lately. This is what i can say: when i was 15 years old, got a bottle of dark rum and lots of coca cola. Took a drink. Took another. Third. Fell in love with the feeling, wanted to feel like that forever and ever. Last millennium, the end of it, was about partying. This millennium, alcohol, all about killing the pain within. Bad medicine of course, made my problems worse, but when i was drunk, i could breathe. Pain was gone. Of course it was worse the day after, in a hangover, but i was willing to pay the price to just... be.

Now my plan is to *profanity* smash it. Alcoholism. I am not sure if i can make it but if i can, i got one friend and i have The Shed, and i will eternally owe my life to them.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 07:29 AM
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a reply to: Finspiracy

Are you on the "spectrum"?

Eta: I re-read that and thought it might come off as rude. I ask because I too began drinking in my teenage years and I took to it very quickly because the new euphoria of drunkenness took much of the edge off of my socially awkward, depressed, misfit existence. Was a very dangerous combination.
edit on 16/8/2019 by DictionaryOfExcuses because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 07:40 AM
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originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: Finspiracy

Are you on the "spectrum"?

Eta: I re-read that and thought it might come off as rude. I ask because I too began drinking in my teenage years and I took to it very quickly because the new euphoria of drunkenness took much of the edge off of my socially awkward, depressed, misfit existence. Was a very dangerous combination.


Don't worry about maybe seeming rude. You are cool. I just don't understand. What "spectrum"? sorry i don't really know what that means.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 07:49 AM
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a reply to: Finspiracy

Sorry, I mean the autism spectrum.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 07:54 AM
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originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: Finspiracy

Sorry, I mean the autism spectrum.


Okay i see. No, not that.

Repetitive major depression. Dissociation. Non-Organ related psychosis. That's whazzup.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 07:58 AM
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a reply to: Finspiracy

I've never heard of psychosis described as "non-organ related". I guess I never knew that organs had a role in psychosis...other than the brain of course. Does that mean the psychosis has no origin in the brain?



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 08:09 AM
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a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

Background of my psychosis is severe substance abuse but i quit them back in 2009.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 08:14 AM
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a reply to: Finspiracy

10 years! Good job. Do you feel like you've come back stronger?



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 08:45 AM
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originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: Finspiracy

10 years! Good job. Do you feel like you've come back stronger?


No, because i replaced my old bad habits with another bad habit, alcohol. And now i am trying to kick it out. I want to feel alive. Actually i... i am a really bad person. A failure. In very, very many ways. But for the past two weeks, i have tried not to think all that i have lost. I try to feel grateful, and i am grateful, for all that i have. Super friend and the Shed. And on a global scale, i am a millionaire king. I have my rented apartment, food in the fridge, couple of beers, some tobacco. Some people really have absolutely nothing. I have huge levels of empathy for them but somehow the empathy i feel, hurts me. I think i am weak, but i have some potential to get stronger but not alone. And as i have written, i am not alone



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 10:00 AM
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I just got back from a follow up appointment from an MRI I had done on my back. I need surgery. They're going to do a lumbar fusion. It's basically screwing a rod to my spine and putting a cage around it.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 10:10 AM
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originally posted by: Skid Mark
I just got back from a follow up appointment from an MRI I had done on my back. I need surgery. They're going to do a lumbar fusion. It's basically screwing a rod to my spine and putting a cage around it.


I am not even going to try to make this sound beautiful. That seems really, really nasty. Storm through it like wildfire through dry grass and maybe it will benefit you, that is all i can say.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 10:51 AM
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Wow so much activity in here! I am so happy to see everyone supporting each other so beautifully!
I have to get dressed and ready to go out. I'll try to make some replies soon.




posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 11:05 AM
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a reply to: Skid Mark

When is your surgery scheduled for Skiddy? You'll feel like anew man when it is done and you heal up. Then...We can perhaps see videos of you dancing.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 11:08 AM
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originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife
Ten hours since I last posted and no one has showed up to the Shed.

Just for that I will remove the sign I carry on my back saying "Does not play well with others".


Awwww, sorry Blue, sometimes I get caught up in youtube land or I'm trying to catch up on facebook with family and friends.
Hope you are having a decent enough day today.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 11:13 AM
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originally posted by: Finspiracy

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Finspiracy
You seem to be doing well so far Fin. I know how difficult this must be for you, but like you said to Kinglizard, "just keep going".


Yeah little elf woman. I feel really lost. I have drank really big time for 22 years. Now it is not there anymore. Yes, i have a few beers but it is now 2 weeks since i started this new med and my cravings for alcohol have significantly reduced. I don't think about drinking all the time. Paranoia at public places is gone. And... so am i... Yes, i have some beers right this moment but it is half because i am thirsty and half because i am used to it but i get nothing out of it.

Elfie... I have lost my identity. My life does not circle around alcohol anymore and therefore, i don't know who i am.


You are a wonderful man Fin. You are sweet and thoughtful and kind. You are compassionate and fun and...well, you have many wonderful attributes and you are loved.

You are not your failures Fin. You are being strong and brave and fighting the hardest battle of your life. Your Mom will come around. She loves you and I'm sure she is missing you as well. You will get through this and you have your Shed family standing by your side every step of the way. Always remember that.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 11:17 AM
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Hello Bally and DOE and lurkers!


edit on 16-8-2019 by Night Star because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 11:35 AM
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a reply to: Night Star
I have no clue. I have a physical therapy appointment before that and also have to talk to my boss because it looks liek I won't be able to work for a couple weeks after. I'm not looking forward to that.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Yeah it sounds nasty but dealing with the pain I'm in now is nasty too.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 01:05 PM
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originally posted by: Night Star

originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife
Ten hours since I last posted and no one has showed up to the Shed.

Just for that I will remove the sign I carry on my back saying "Does not play well with others".


Awwww, sorry Blue, sometimes I get caught up in youtube land or I'm trying to catch up on facebook with family and friends.
Hope you are having a decent enough day today.


We must talk about your YouTube addiction as your world should not stray from the Shed.



posted on Aug, 16 2019 @ 05:22 PM
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a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Bahaha! Guess I've been bad.





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