a reply to: Finspiracy
Fins post. I hope this new week brings you all joy. Or if that is not possible at the moment, i hope this new week is at least tolerable
Thank you and the same to you, sauna boy, I am so envious.
I think we all have our "demons" to struggle with in one way or another.
What you write is you
the person we see is you
. One of your personalities. We all have different "personas" even though few are brave
enough to admit it.
As Timely said, bent a little, "Choose the personality you want to emanate"
I too had a wonderful Mother and a horrid drunk of a Father. It would be too lengthy to get into details. But over the years I have come to realize
that I have been selective in my judgement. They both had good and less admirable sides.
I contain both, so I try to bring forth the parts that make me grow and not settle with "This is what I am, I was raised this way" That would be the
easy way out, not taking responsibility for myself but blaming them.
To illustrate. My Father was a monster, he only showed to his closest family, every one else thought he was saint. THAT
realization taught me
to all ways be truthfull and do what is most honorable.
He divulged in "pity". As a refugee from Hungary he finagled his way into my Mothers heart, dragging her across the Atlantic ocean to settle in the
promised land. Where he beat her into submission, maltreated me and managed to hold up the whole façade because he was "such a devout catholic".
After his passing, I came to find he had left his wife, dying of cancer, he said he was a widow of many years, and three children.
I had come to hate him, but I was ironically the one to care for him in his last years and then I managed to love him. Not because he was my Father
but because he was a ruined human being just like me in need of redemption.
From Mom I learned the lesson to uphold my integrity.
You go find that place within you that makes you strong and happy even when you are sad.
Sorry for the long tale. I just wanted to relate that you are not alone.