posted on May, 25 2019 @ 07:20 PM
A friend up the hill from me started swiping his mom's Kools when we were teenagers and we carelessly puffed our way into "rebel" status. It took
me a long time to realize this: it's not that smoking is cool, it's that cool people smoke. Yes, I was cool. At least, I was cool for twenty years
before the wheeze came knockin'.
But tobacco is Dreamweed, and I am a Dreamer, so I wanted to reduce the nascent effects on my health. Like many people, when I quit smoking
cigarettes, I didn't quit using tobacco. I started using snus, a Swedish tobacco product similar to American "dipping" tobacco in that nicotine is
absorbed through the tissues of the mouth. However, it differs in that snus is traditionally held in the upper lip and reduces the need to spit. It is
said that the juices from snus may be "gutted" and that the risk of adverse health effects is many times less than that of smoking cigarettes. It is
decidely uncool to "snus".
When I started, there were three brands available: Camel, Marlboro, and General. The two American tobacco companies make a terrible product that (in
my experience) are oversweetened, and it has been speculated that they are intentionally weak (by nicotine content) to discourage people from quitting
smoking. General is a Swedish brand and comes in a variety of flavors, of which my favorite is mint. All that matters is that it help me to
When I went to buy snus yesterday, i noticed a new brand called "Thunder Xtreme". Someone is trying to make snus cool. I have mixed feelings, as a
grown man, of my tobacco bearing a name which makes it seem at home in Mountain Dew's family of beverage products, but the word "thunder" projects
strength. (I like that.)
I asked the woman working the register for a can.
"You know I had a guy come in and buy 90 bucks worth of Copennagen? 90. Says he's going to Europe and they don't sell it over there," she said.
"So he was stocking up for his trip."
"Makes plenty of sense to me," I replied.
I left the store and got in my car. Checking my rearview mirror, I noticed an old, fat homeless man crumpled up on the curb, surrounded by the garbage
that was his life. He lifted a cigarette up to his lips and a moment later smoke leaked out of his face. I took a deep breath, popped a snus under my
lip, and fired up my Hyundai. Huey Lewis & the News was playing on the radio.
It's hip to be square.