Unreal

The past 6 months have unbelievable. Last august my grandmother died. 2 weeks later my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer she's 58. Last fall she went through chemo and radiation. She had to quit her job. Social Security disability denied her claim even though her illness is on the list of things they expedite ssdi claims. 2 weeks after she was diagnosed my step dad lost his job of 25 years. My other grandmother and I gave my mom thousands dollar to stay afloat to pay bills.

My step dad found another job and they were jerking him around on his hours. They kept cutting his hours. He couldn't switch jobs because there would be a gap in medical insurance and my mom was in the middle of treatment.

My grandmother has Alzheimer's and she was drinking. My aunt and I couldn't get her to quit drinking. So one night last February she's drunk and fall out of bed. She has wood floors in her bedroom. She rolled out of bed face first into the floor. I had to call 911 because I couldn't get her to the car. She busted her face up pretty good. 3 days later social services showed up on the door step. Someone called and said I beat her up and that my aunt was stealing her money. We had to go through this long investigation. I thought they were going to put me in jail. We got her to quit drinking after that.

3 weeks ago I went to the doctor and they found 2 growths in my lungs. They're both 1 1/2 inches. At this point I'm thinking I might be a goner.

The icing on the cake came yesterday morning. At 8 am I get a call from my mom that they're being evicted. They were throwing my moms stuff on the curb in the rain. All of her expensive furniture everything was getting tossed in t he rain.

My mom had no clue they were behind on the mortgage. My step dad hid it from her. They only owed $10k left on the mortgage.

My step dad called and tried to pick a fight with me because I won't let them stay here. I don't have a problem with my mom staying but after this stunt he's not welcome.

All that money my grandmother and I gave my mom was for nothing. My step dad is telling my mom he didn't know about anything which is total bs.

a reply to: wantsome

Good god! What a rant, look up and listen to a little tune by the talking heads called wild, wild life and hit repeat.

Its good to let loose like this and maybe hear other stories of comfort.
Not sure about you medical condition, but hope all goes well for you.

a reply to: wantsome


I’m so sorry you are going through this, I have prayed for you and your mom, and will keep you in my prayers.

a reply to: wantsome

If it wasn't already enough, this part is very troubling...

... Someone called and said I beat her up and that my aunt was stealing her money. ...

I think I'd have to find that "someone" and take them on a trip out behind the World's largest woodshed!!!

a reply to: wantsome

One day at a time, friend.
I wish I could say something to make it better, but I can't.
It sounds terrible. All you can do is keep going. Don't give up.
Have a cry and push forward.

a reply to: wantsome

Hi,

sorry for your loss and I hope you are taking the time out to grieve in amongst all of this chaos. It is very important to take a breather and relax when possible.

Going to say something here that may come across a tad brutal or unsympathetic at first but I only say this from experience in the hopes that it helps. Been through my fair share of chaos and it took me a long time in my own life to begin to grip onto stability.

All of this here that you said…

Last fall she went through chemo and radiation. She had to quit her job. Social Security disability denied her claim even though her illness is on the list of things they expedite ssdi claims. 2 weeks after she was diagnosed my step dad lost his job of 25 years. My other grandmother and I gave my mom thousands dollar to stay afloat to pay bills.

My step dad found another job and they were jerking him around on his hours. They kept cutting his hours. He couldn't switch jobs because there would be a gap in medical insurance and my mom was in the middle of treatment.

My grandmother has Alzheimer's and she was drinking. My aunt and I couldn't get her to quit drinking. So one night last February she's drunk and fall out of bed. She has wood floors in her bedroom. She rolled out of bed face first into the floor. I had to call 911 because I couldn't get her to the car. She busted her face up pretty good. 3 days later social services showed up on the door step. Someone called and said I beat her up and that my aunt was stealing her money. We had to go through this long investigation. I thought they were going to put me in jail. We got her to quit drinking after that.

The icing on the cake came yesterday morning. At 8 am I get a call from my mom that they're being evicted. They were throwing my moms stuff on the curb in the rain. All of her expensive furniture everything was getting tossed in t he rain.

My mom had no clue they were behind on the mortgage. My step dad hid it from her. They only owed $10k left on the mortgage.

My step dad called and tried to pick a fight with me because I won't let them stay here.

All of the above is circumstances completely out with your control. There is nothing you can do about any of it. You have already offered assistance to your mum even after repeatedly helping in the past.

Punishing yourself, bending to the demands of others, wishing things were better or worrying about other people’s consequences for their actions/inactions/ignorance is only going to put you in a bad place mentally and eventually physically with stress.

What matters most in everything going on at the moment?

3 weeks ago I went to the doctor and they found 2 growths in my lungs. They're both 1 1/2 inches.

Focus on your own health and wellbeing. This is your life giving you a Red Alert in my opinion.

I do not know your background but if I was to take a stab in the dark guess I bet this has been going on for years, if not decades and a cycle is constantly repeating to the point of reaching a tipping point. This is the moment to change! STOP, take a breather! Change what your are doing and how you approach things.

You cannot be a superhero for everyone around you, especially when they repeatedly bring uttter chaos to you on a consistent basis. You are the point where your health is demanding your attention.

Take a good look at yourself, take charge of yourself, respect yourself and focus on your own wellbeing firstly.

To look at it another way, how can you ever help anyone else if you are in this position yourself?

If other people around you cannot handle you looking after yourself, that too is not your fault or issue. Your own life is at crisis point and this is the only real thing you can directly affect, focus on this for a starting point and fast.

Just my opinion and I really do wish you the best for the future.

a reply to: wantsome

The corporations do not care about you! Stop voting Republican!

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: wantsome

The corporations do not care about you! Stop voting Republican!

Ummm...I swear to God you are the biggest tool in a rather large shed...

If your going to troll...at least learn...how to do it...

Sorry OP...I don't really have the words that might express the comfort you need...I will state as others have...that we wish you and yours well...







YouSir

Social Security tends to deny EVERY disability claim right off the bat. I suggest going in person to your local office and speaking to someone there, or keep calling back until you can get someone to take you seriously. The system is purposefully designed to make it difficult to get approved- this weeds out some of the fraudulent claims, but also makes it a headache for those who truly need the assistance.

The other thing that is annoying is that they will want to terminate your assistance after awhile even if the disability is permanent. For example, if you lost both of your legs and arms in a freak blender accident, Social security will assume that your limbs have magically regrown like a chameleon's tail and expect you to get back to your job at Taco Bell.

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: wantsome

The corporations do not care about you! Stop voting Republican!

I suppose you were trying to be funny. That's what I'm going to assume.

OP, just prayed for you. KTemplar has also prayed for you and your mom, and prayer can be powerful.

I'm rooting for you. I've had phases in life where everything seemed to go wrong and it just wouldn't let up- like what it seems you've been dealing with. Things CAN get better!

Take care of your health and just go ome day at a time. Seriously, do your best to focus just on what you need to do today, that's it. Let tomorrow worry about itself.

Let us know what the doc says about your lungs. Did they do any tests? what is the plan there? Also, it could be a hundred things and NOT necessarily anything bad!

One day at a time.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from Social services, both state and county. And religious affiliations.

a reply to: wantsome

Brother, it looks like you are possibly in Albuquerque, but if you were nearby, I would buy you a beer or smoke a bowl and talk it out if you were interested, or change the subject if youd rather just not think about it. We could just be two guys havin a beer. It doesnt have to be for any special reason. You know, just two dudes with raging goals, running the galaxy together!

I was jk about the last part. I reminded myself of this scene so I decided to include a line as a joke: (skip to the halfway mark if you want to skip about a minute and a quarter of non vital material. Truthfully, you could skip a little more than halfway, maybe 2/3 or 3/4 of the way into it. Also, this scene originally had commercial breaks and it also cut to other scenes with other characters so there are like 2 or 3 parts where it seems to suddenly skip forward. all youre skipping is the commercials and other scenes)

Sorry, I know my cheap humor isnt worth much. But I tried. 👍 Best of wishes to you and yours bud. Life is #ing UNREAL sometimes.

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles and I do hope things take a turn for the better for you an d your family.

I've been going through a rough spell myself so I can relate.

Just got knocked down with pneumonia and I'm literally in hell right now.

I always try to be grateful for all the friends I have. And I do have good friends. I hope you do too.

a reply to: wantsome

I am so sorry to hear all this bad news and what you and your family have been through. I'm sure you are overwhelmed right now and rightly so. All I can say is that I pray that things improve for you. You have your ATS family beside you.

I don't know how it works but my Sisters Family went through some things and her husband was in a bad car accident, they had no insurance and he could not work. Someone set up a gofundme thing and we gave and many people saw the story and gave and helped them through this bad stretch.

To bad they already lost the house with only 10k left to pay that is really a hard one!

a reply to: wantsome

Hang in there wantsome, and please keep us updated on how things are going with you

Sounds like your welfare should be first and foremost here I'll keep you in my prayers