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originally posted by: Fallingdown
If I talked to him the conversation would go something like this .......
Me: Ffirst of all this conversation will go no further than you and I “
“ I heard what happened, what the hell were you thinking ?“
Me: “ don’t matter, you can’t do that “
Jerk with more justification
Me: “ Do you know what the cops will do? Anybody could call the police your neighbor, anyone on the phone or anyone in shouting distance . The police will show up and if there’s any sign of abuse you will go directly to jail even if she doesn’t want you to. You will be arraigned in the morning and the judge will issue a emergency protection order anywhere from 30 to 90 days even if your wife doesn’t want it . Then they will set your hearing for at least 30 days away in order to challenge the EPO . To pick up clothes and other stuff you will need a police escort to go to the house and will be humiliated in front of all of your neighbors.”
Me “ If there’s no sign of abuse the cops will make you leave for at least the night anyway. The whole process is a way to shame you and people will remember. That’s a tough burden to bear .”
Jerk i’m sorry .
“ sorry don’t matter “
Jerk you’re right .
Me: “You your wife and children’s future is in your hands . You’re on some dangerous ground. Just think hard about that. “
Me:”you think you’re about to do something stupid. Give me a call first . “
Hopefully at this point the jerk is crestfallen .
Me: “ to bud bottles”
There’s two takeaways from that. If he knows the conversation is confidential the pill will be easier to swallow . Secondly you’re not doing this for him you’re doing it for his wife .
originally posted by: loam
a reply to: Woodcarver
How would he being doing that?
Your plan is completely half baked. The likely outcome of such a confrontation is he will deny it and the wife will defend HIM. Then there will certainly be no future outings together as couples or even individually as friends.
If the husband really abuses his wife, while you had fun with your entertainment, the wife will pay for the consequences later at home. What kind of person does that?
The only reasonable approach to this situation is for the OP's wife to continue to offer support, while not also forcing her husband to socialize with either one.