The Declaration of Dependence

In Congress, July 4, 2019.
The unanimous Declaration of the two hundred and fifty two states of the United Globe, when in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the globe, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's Science entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of personskind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all eighty four genders are created equal, that they are endowed by their Government with the right to not be called aliens, to be granted entry into "America", be given free food and healthcare and utilities.--That to secure these rights, The Government is instituted among "Women", deriving their just powers from the outrage of the followers, towards thine aims of total dependence on the State. --That whenever any Form of Identity becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to censor it or to punch it in the face, and to institute new Rules of Conformance, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Feelings of Affirmation and Inclusiveness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that The Government long established should be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that personskind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are insufferable, so to right themselves they shall abolish the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to embrace such Government, and to provide new Guards for their Global Identity.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Minorities; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Trump Tower is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of Asylum Seekers, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has called woman fat disgusting pigs, no doubt as to call one individual such means he called all of them that.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to completely acquiesce to the Transetc Movements.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by tweeting absurd criticisms of our comrades in the FBI and State Department.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, dependent on their quotas of bewildering minorities on trumped up charges.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of red hats to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Racist Supporters without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has maintained the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction that rules out "foreigners" to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of his supporters among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For his Trade War with all parts of the world:

For not imposing enough Taxes on us, without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Social Media.

For trolling persons beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging Propaganda against us.

He has plundered our golf courses, ravaged our community organizers, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of Conservatives to compleat the works of obfuscation, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Collusion & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A buffoon whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of the Globe, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Provinces, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Provinces are, and of Right ought to be Inclusive and Dependent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Trump Crown, and that all political connection between them, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Inclusive and Dependent States, they have full Power to levy doxxing, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Scientific Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor. Yea.

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

Can I get my 7 minutes back? At first I thought it was a short story with a lame premise that would at some point get turned around into something interesting and rational. It was neither a short story, nor was it rational imho, it seemed it was just a triggered progressive's rant. Post a warning next time :-)

Cheers - Dave

Under His Eye

The Declaration of Dependence

Cry havoc and let slip the farts of war.

It's for the children.

AOC 2028 !!! 😳

a reply to: xuenchen

AOC 2019!

EFIL4COA!

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss





Epic.

It makes it hard to read the OP when the carpet like squiggles within the area under his name are on the side.

Oh I get it. Satire. At first I was like “WTF are you on about?” Because some people really are that stupid

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

That.....was....Awesome!!!

a reply to: highvein

Thank you. Idea popped into me head while driving down the road. Only had disparate bits of time to edit the original while at work this morning.

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss
I'm pleading my ignorance. Can I buy a vowel for a 100 please?