My wife's Diarrhea experience - [SS2019] - Writer

a reply to: rickymouse

I'm glad it's working for you, 10 years!!,
I can easily imagine the restrictive diet is not fun at all..sounds like you make the best of it.
I'm a picky, terrible eater myself, it's a tough thing to control, so hats off to you.
Stay healthy!

originally posted by: bally001
A sneaky fart,
a suspicious leak.
Lifted the covers to take a peek.
Too late to shut the gate!
Out it came at a thundering rate.
Over the bed and across the doona.
I couldn't get out of bed any sooner.
Landed, on bent knees,
cursing the curry pie and peas.
Rumbling, rattling crap squirting from my bod.
Missus leaps up yelling, "OH MY GOD!"

The END!

It takes a friggin genius to describe their wives runs in such a poetical way. Hopefully she passed the nonsense as well as you passed these words.

I've got a mate, ex Vietnam, ex psych nurse, ambulance officer.

He said when they gave patents Epsom salts, they didn't have seizures. He was pretty angry because they stopped and now the patients have to wear stack hats (because they had seizures again) .

I think they gave them Epsom salts once a week, when he was there. It's pure magnesium I think.
Don't know the dose.

My kitten had seizures, I gave him cod liver oil and that stopped them. He just seemed to drink it when he needed it.

Great reply,

I love my curried pies and peas. Can't help it. Staple for me before boarding the ship overseas. Damn 'Harry' and his 'Cafe de Wheels'.

At Woollamaloo near the dockyard. (Down from Kings Cross)' So, my self and family have suffered the 'Havana Omelette.' Cause really, I miss it to this day. Peas are homegrown but the pies I cannot attest to cause I purchase them from a local mart.

I will now bake my own pies and wash my hands thoroughly. Just one night. Only happened to me.

Kind regards,

Bally

originally posted by: chris_stibrany
disqualified. more than 50 words . plus its not really suspenseful or paranoia related.
These competitions need to be more strenuous.

~A newb.

a reply to: bally001

You are right. I won't post something like this after a night on the turps. Didn't count the words.

Cheers,

bally

originally posted by: 727Sky
Now that is a scene you do not read about every day S&F

Tragically, it happened.

Kind regards,

bally

originally posted by: olaru12
I really like the adolescent vibe that now permeates this site. So refreshing than that stupid "deny ignorance" BS.

Yeah true, look mate, I must apologize at this stage. I am not adolescent by any means (wish I was!) I was on the piss and thought this though, not eloquently, but as a drinker who way had too much. The story occurred and I now wish I hadn't proffered it. Bad night that was. (and the cleaning up). I was only trying to make light of a really embarrassing moment for me and perhaps a truly poor night for the missus. (I blame the food).

Funny how alcohol makes it easy to remember 'crappy' (excuse the pun) moments like this.

My regards,

bally

Omg I'm dying here lol

a reply to: EternalSolace

It actually wasn't my wife's runs. It was me after patronizing pies and curry peas.

Kind regards,

bally

a reply to: bally001

I always enjoy a writer that does the job well... they can put you in an environment you can "see" and make you feel an emotion.

Although your story was a cross between horrifying and mortifying to me, it most certainly worked.

a reply to: Lumenari

Post script to the story - I have 4 dogs of different breeds. Must be a dog thing but all were more than interested in what occurred especially my wife's exclamation. Later I laughed at the dogs reaction. Barking, racing up the stairs. Then lightly tip toeing and backing off.

They protect my wife fiercely but not in this circumstance. It was kinda like, "Yeah right, we're not employed to protect you from this."

Terrible sight. Sniffing, backing off and a bit of confusion. They let me pass on my way to the loo and shower.

Laughing right now in memory.

Kind regards,

bally

I will be glad when this story, and the "bacon, bacon, bacon x 50" stories take 1st and 2nd place in the short story contest!

They deserve it!

Then we will rise to a new level.

S&F!!

a reply to: bally001

Lmao if that ain't the winner, there is no justice!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

No FCD, I disqualified myself by going over the 50 word limit. Been pointed out to me in this thread. Taught me not to post writing under the influence of alcohol. No worries. It was a bit of a chuckle next day when I reread it.

In all fairness there were far better posts in this comp than mine.

Kind regards,

bally

a reply to: SprocketUK

As posted to FCD. Thanks for the comment but I've withdrawn this entry for posting over the 50 words. My mistake so perhaps some better entries will be more appreciated.

Kind regards,

bally

originally posted by: shapur
a reply to: bally001

Excellent!...I would be happy to hear more about your wife's intimate moments.

Dude what the actual Eff........ Who says this

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
I will be glad when this story, and the "bacon, bacon, bacon x 50" stories take 1st and 2nd place in the short story contest!

They deserve it!

Then we will rise to a new level.

S&F!!

Think about it this way... we who are learning as we go might incorporate the winning story ideas into the next contest.

If bally had word counted and DB didn't yank his bacon entry, that would gave meant the top 3 would have been about bacon, explosive diarrhea and death.

A rather funny story to write under the next theme...

a reply to: bally001

The dog's thoughts alone would have made a fun story.

"Mother Alert!!!
"Attack!!"

"Protect the Mom, Protect the Mom, Protect the Mom..."

WTF?

"Alert status change. Mother is not in danger. Father needs a medic."

"Retreat!!!"

a reply to: Lumenari



Thanks for that reply,

It was kinda like that.

My regards,

bally

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
I will be glad when this story, and the "bacon, bacon, bacon x 50" stories take 1st and 2nd place in the short story contest!

They deserve it!

Then we will rise to a new level.

S&F!!

Think about it this way... we who are learning as we go might incorporate the winning story ideas into the next contest.

If bally had word counted and DB didn't yank his bacon entry, that would gave meant the top 3 would have been about bacon, explosive diarrhea and death.

A rather funny story to write under the next theme...

Good thoughts. A new genre of writing. Kinda like art contests where some weird painting wins the award agaist all other beaut artworks.

Chuckle.

Cheers,

bally