To the Different One - (Soulmate)

Sometimes i think I have a soulmate, but can not contact with that person. I have feeling that I know her all my life

originally posted by: StallionDuck

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: Nothin

You inner self can.

Apology not needed.
People have all kinds of reasons which keep them going on in their lives or around which their existence revolves (curiosity, dreams, wishes, desires, beauty of life itself, various goals...). If you personally don't have that then I'm not sure would it be appropriate for me to feel sorry or glad for you (since I don't know you), but in any case...good luck!

You're right. Though, sometimes people run out of reasons or those reasons go away and they tire of life because to them, it has little to no substance.

More to the point of "reasons", I think this is the factor. I think self esteem is also a large factor. It can be the difference between someone going after what they desire and someone taking anything for the sake of not being alone. Along with that... We are what we learn. Sadly. One small trivial thing to you and I could determine the road in which a child walks for the rest of their lives. It is who we are and how we came to be at this point.

For example. I believe that the showering of love that my grandparents had for me is a defining factor of who I am today and it's something I can not change no matter how much therapy I endure. From that experience of always being cuddled or "spoiled" by my grandmother, it turns out that cuddling and that closeness between two people is what I desire most. For one that I care about quite a bit and we're in this sorta "relationship" (because I have no idea what I would call it), she didn't have that and based on events of her childhood, she's 100% the opposite and doesn't like closenessness or cuddles that last more than a minute.

Some think that you can just turn off emotions and feelings. This just isn't true. Just like saying, you can choose who you fall in love with. Any fool in love knows this isn't true either.

I tend to be attracted to the fallen and down trodden because as someone pointed out, and I hate that she is right and it was very hard to admit to myself, that I need to be needed and wanted. That's why I subconsciously find a heavy attraction to those types of persons. Sadly enough... If I looked deep enough, I can probably surmise that I work as much and as hard as I can to have those shiny little pebbles that attracts certain mates. In other words, I work hard to have the ability to take care of someone. It's a sad truth. I don't like it one bit but childhood experience made me this way and I can't shake it. Sure, I can refrain any time I want because I'm stubborn, but it doesn't quelch the longing for the reason I was doing it in the first place... Being wanted and needed.

I like to think I'm a hopeless romantic - like almost on a creepy level ... lol But I just put that much care into one person that I adore. No, I don't stalk, no jealousy or anything like that but I do feel detached from something important when that person isn't around. I tend to find myself conforming around the needs and likes of that person as well. Another sad trait that I hate but... it just feels natural and I don't even know I'm doing it.

If we only looked at our children and SERIOUSLY realised that every moment we spend and every action, every word we say to them will mold them to how they will end up for the rest of their lives. ...and we'd never let them out of our sights

In a way, that makes me glad that I don't have my own spawn. No matter how much I'd love to have them.



Great thread btw.

I agree. Sometimes people run out of those reasons and/or just find something-anything in order to keep them going on.

This text about love and raising children is great cause it also has a playing role in building/defining a person. Love is very important factor for a child to receive, it affects them in all kinds ow ways, one is - as you said - with their self-esteem. It can also pave the way to certain extent on their further life journey. You say how you were pampered and that some things regarding that bother you now. Nobody is perfect - how much love is too much or too little, which ways of love expressing are good-bad-better than others? I believe, what matters is the approach alongside with the intention. In the end, there will always be something (from the day we were born) - people+situations+external influences - that will influence us in some way.

Let me add the 3rd person type to yours and your girlfriend's. A girl growing up in a family where a parent beats her, calls her names and there's no or very little affection showing. The child feels disgusted with herself, like she's worth nothing and of course - the self-esteem problem rises. With years she becomes aware of her intelligence, character, physical looks...she realizes who she actually is and who her parent(s) was(were) and what they did to her. She understand things about herself and them, about the consequences it had on her so she starts to 'reprogram' herself - to be who she feels she really is and towards what she wants. What happened is she understood herself (became aware) and therefore had the power to change that.

I agree with you how careful towards children we should be. I think that trying to be the best person as you can to someone - as a parent, as a friend, as a partner - is enough, that's your limit.

What's also great is your understanding (awareness) of the situation, of yourself and of the girlfriend. I wanted to say that understanding/knowing yourself gives you power over yourself and therefore tools to make changes if you wish...but, then you say it's not possible for you to change something you want to...yeah, it's possible, but I'm also thinking is it really that you can't or you just don't want to because you like feeling wanted and needed?
Smokers, for example, it's not enough for them to just know smoking is not good for them and they would like to stop, but they actually don't want to cause it feels better for them when they smoke...but having a real will to stop and then stop is something else.
Anyway, how you described yourself in a relationship (cuddling, being romantic, giving attention to a partner and taking care of them)...(I understand the reasons) it sounds great to me, what's there not to love :-) And wanting to feel needed, I don't see anything wrong there as well...there are lots of people who are driven by that reason.

originally posted by: geffry23
Sometimes i think I have a soulmate, but can not contact with that person. I have feeling that I know her all my life

Hello

Well, the same thing is with me. I feel that person all around me and in my heart, like it's someone I already know and he's somewhere out there, but I just cannot see him. I guess that's the kind of feeling feeling you meant.
That's also the reason I posted this. It's not a dating ad nor I'm interested in online relationships, but it's a way of maybe him 'hearing' the vibes through this writing.

Hey Ariel7, check your PM if still around.

a reply to: Ariel7

Very deeply and thoroughly said. It's funny how the universe may sometimes make us feel isolated from the rest, or even ourselves. Be proud of who you are; the deep connection you have with your own soul. You are one of a kind, and there is a "soulmate" out there somewhere. Someone who will connect on your level, share your same thoughts and ideals. It's a large world we live in; someway or somehow, the universe will unite you with "your person."

Wow, people actually learning to NOT SIMP??

Maybe there IS some hope for humanity, even on this half-animal-populated planet..