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originally posted by: StallionDuck
originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: Nothin
You inner self can.
Apology not needed.
People have all kinds of reasons which keep them going on in their lives or around which their existence revolves (curiosity, dreams, wishes, desires, beauty of life itself, various goals...). If you personally don't have that then I'm not sure would it be appropriate for me to feel sorry or glad for you (since I don't know you), but in any case...good luck!
You're right. Though, sometimes people run out of reasons or those reasons go away and they tire of life because to them, it has little to no substance.
More to the point of "reasons", I think this is the factor. I think self esteem is also a large factor. It can be the difference between someone going after what they desire and someone taking anything for the sake of not being alone. Along with that... We are what we learn. Sadly. One small trivial thing to you and I could determine the road in which a child walks for the rest of their lives. It is who we are and how we came to be at this point.
For example. I believe that the showering of love that my grandparents had for me is a defining factor of who I am today and it's something I can not change no matter how much therapy I endure. From that experience of always being cuddled or "spoiled" by my grandmother, it turns out that cuddling and that closeness between two people is what I desire most. For one that I care about quite a bit and we're in this sorta "relationship" (because I have no idea what I would call it), she didn't have that and based on events of her childhood, she's 100% the opposite and doesn't like closenessness or cuddles that last more than a minute.
Some think that you can just turn off emotions and feelings. This just isn't true. Just like saying, you can choose who you fall in love with. Any fool in love knows this isn't true either.
I tend to be attracted to the fallen and down trodden because as someone pointed out, and I hate that she is right and it was very hard to admit to myself, that I need to be needed and wanted. That's why I subconsciously find a heavy attraction to those types of persons. Sadly enough... If I looked deep enough, I can probably surmise that I work as much and as hard as I can to have those shiny little pebbles that attracts certain mates. In other words, I work hard to have the ability to take care of someone. It's a sad truth. I don't like it one bit but childhood experience made me this way and I can't shake it. Sure, I can refrain any time I want because I'm stubborn, but it doesn't quelch the longing for the reason I was doing it in the first place... Being wanted and needed.
I like to think I'm a hopeless romantic - like almost on a creepy level ... lol But I just put that much care into one person that I adore. No, I don't stalk, no jealousy or anything like that but I do feel detached from something important when that person isn't around. I tend to find myself conforming around the needs and likes of that person as well. Another sad trait that I hate but... it just feels natural and I don't even know I'm doing it.
If we only looked at our children and SERIOUSLY realised that every moment we spend and every action, every word we say to them will mold them to how they will end up for the rest of their lives. ...and we'd never let them out of our sights In a way, that makes me glad that I don't have my own spawn. No matter how much I'd love to have them.
Great thread btw.
originally posted by: geffry23
Sometimes i think I have a soulmate, but can not contact with that person. I have feeling that I know her all my life