To the Different One - (Soulmate)

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I can make and deliver a vegetarian sandwich and water

A whole lot of men just dropped out of the competition. After reading your answers I'm beginning to see why you are still single.

a reply to: schuyler

"Woman! Where is the bacon in my bacon sandwich???"

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: valiant

Hmm, that couldn't have been me since my rank is a bit higher. You've probably spoken with my half-sister, yeah, a weird human being

Damn ...I always get second best!

Just be mindful of the potential creeps you are inviting with your post, that was my first thought reading the op. Anyways, good luck to you I guess.

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: StallionDuck

I see what you mean. Well, that's why when people click with someone or find themselves to be on the same wavelength with someone, communication+understanding+compromise are important. Even in 'soulmate thing' or 'same frequency thing' there are small differences. I say small cause when your soul loves somebody else's soul (and not only attracted to their looks, their financial status or being with them only for not being lonely and so on...) then all these small differences don't matter cause they cannot influence that kind of love you share with someone.
In the end, it depends on what you want in life and in a person. I agree, it would be better if things were more simple, but we are the ones who influence that.

Perhaps but I think you would have to be disconnected from seeing each other for a year or more and speak every single day before that initiation of 'sight' takes hold. Even then, it might be tough.

I really believe that we're all superficial to some degree. Though, I also feel that many of us want what you want but that superficial side gets in the way. Had we all become blind......

a reply to: Ariel7

The key word in your last sentence is "maybe", you can't know if you don't try and see how you keep in step with your own self and in the end with someone.

I think I see the confusion. You had "maybe" in quotes, so you "perhaps" assumed that the last line after the story was key. Actually, the point of the story was, "When it comes to physical intimacy, I'm all talk and no action."

I think that I just may have gotten the hang of keeping step with my own self about 2015; Kinda, sorta, maybe.

After much thought and soul searching and listening to old favorite songs, I have changed perspective on a song. Major breakthrough!

26 years ago, I listened to this song. Then the words "Many years have passed since those summer days" seemed to be key. I am somewhat embarrassed that I sang this song to 1 or 2, actually 3 different women; the idea being that they would remember me.

Now after these many years, I discover that I am the one doing the remembering. When it comes to soul mates, my definition is far different from the idea of life mate. Some of my soul mates have passed. Some have become lost to me through time and distance. I remember them.


"See the children run as the sun goes down..."

It's not really about me anymore.

Thank you for this thread. It has helped me see a little clearer.

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I can make and deliver a vegetarian sandwich and water

A whole lot of men just dropped out of the competition. After reading your answers I'm beginning to see why you are still single.

Yeah, that's the trouble...they get scared...
...of staying hungry and thirsty...

originally posted by: valiant

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: valiant

Hmm, that couldn't have been me since my rank is a bit higher. You've probably spoken with my half-sister, yeah, a weird human being

Damn ...I always get second best!

Just be mindful of the potential creeps you are inviting with your post, that was my first thought reading the op. Anyways, good luck to you I guess.

Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it.
In the end, this is not a dating ad or 'get to know everyone-then eliminate' ad, it's just about one certain person.

Btw, half-sister is also a catch

originally posted by: StallionDuck

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: StallionDuck

I see what you mean. Well, that's why when people click with someone or find themselves to be on the same wavelength with someone, communication+understanding+compromise are important. Even in 'soulmate thing' or 'same frequency thing' there are small differences. I say small cause when your soul loves somebody else's soul (and not only attracted to their looks, their financial status or being with them only for not being lonely and so on...) then all these small differences don't matter cause they cannot influence that kind of love you share with someone.
In the end, it depends on what you want in life and in a person. I agree, it would be better if things were more simple, but we are the ones who influence that.

I believe that when you meet the right person everything falls into it's place, even the looks and physical attraction you're mentioning.
It's that "something" (that certain vibe) which makes it a whole package (the personality, the looks, attitude towards life and so on...)
You can have great communication and understanding with someone, but only as friends. In that case, there's not this entire package we're talking about needed for the romantic relationship.
Maybe this is just too much theorizing, but when it happens - you just feel it and all the necessary components are there.





Perhaps but I think you would have to be disconnected from seeing each other for a year or more and speak every single day before that initiation of 'sight' takes hold. Even then, it might be tough.

I really believe that we're all superficial to some degree. Though, I also feel that many of us want what you want but that superficial side gets in the way. Had we all become blind......

originally posted by: pthena
a reply to: Ariel7

The key word in your last sentence is "maybe", you can't know if you don't try and see how you keep in step with your own self and in the end with someone.

I think I see the confusion. You had "maybe" in quotes, so you "perhaps" assumed that the last line after the story was key. Actually, the point of the story was, "When it comes to physical intimacy, I'm all talk and no action."

I think that I just may have gotten the hang of keeping step with my own self about 2015; Kinda, sorta, maybe.

After much thought and soul searching and listening to old favorite songs, I have changed perspective on a song. Major breakthrough!

26 years ago, I listened to this song. Then the words "Many years have passed since those summer days" seemed to be key. I am somewhat embarrassed that I sang this song to 1 or 2, actually 3 different women; the idea being that they would remember me.

Now after these many years, I discover that I am the one doing the remembering. When it comes to soul mates, my definition is far different from the idea of life mate. Some of my soul mates have passed. Some have become lost to me through time and distance. I remember them.

"See the children run as the sun goes down..."

It's not really about me anymore.

Thank you for this thread. It has helped me see a little clearer.

Lots of talk, no or little action - I understood you well.
You know, it can also be due to someone not understanding my writing expression or me not understanding somebody's context - English is not my native language, so...

I see you have a story. It helps when you talk about it, just express it in some way. Not even through just talking, but through writing it down also or through songs listening. I'm glad that my thread helped you in any kind of way, if you want you can use it to express yourself even more if it's gonna make things easier for you.
You said "It's not about me anymore"...it's about all of us. Even this thread. All of us reminding each other, affecting each other and our perspectives, helping each other...with the goal of expanding our spirit/inner self/consciousness.

Thank you for reminding me of this beautiful song, haven't heard it for some time.

a reply to: Ariel7

Is it expanding our spirit/inner self/consciousness, or is it expanding our awareness of what was there all along?

FWIW, you could say English is your first language and no one would think twice.

a reply to: Ariel7

I believe that when you meet the right person everything falls into it's place, even the looks and physical attraction you're mentioning.
It's that "something" (that certain vibe) which makes it a whole package (the personality, the looks, attitude towards life and so on...)
You can have great communication and understanding with someone, but only as friends. In that case, there's not this entire package we're talking about needed for the romantic relationship.
Maybe this is just too much theorizing, but when it happens - you just feel it and all the necessary components are there.

On this I agree but still, to an extent. I mean, you have to find that person that you're attracted to but even though looks aren't involved, you're still attracted when you look at their face.

For instance...

I say I'm not a material person, yet I love and own only FAST cars. When I'm driving my car, I love the attention I get from it. It's fulfilling in some weird way. I say I'm really not a shallow person but I tend to only be attracted by a certain appearance or type.

The above can be true and at the same time, not my fault. I can't make myself find someone attractive who I don't feel is, no matter how much conversation we have. Sure, we can be the exact same or she could be everything I've ever wanted but if one small thing is out of my attraction zone, say, she likes Rap and not Metal... She drives a mustang and hates vettes, yeah something silly like that... Or, she has an ear growing in the middle of her forehead. I might be totally uninterested.

I do know from experience that you can 'get used' to a person being around all the time and you will then find some kind of attraction or connection. That can be just as brutal when you go separate ways. I'd say that that's love. You can always grow to love someone but this is a little different.

There is one who I find very attractive who by appearance standards wouldn't be someone I'm normally attracted to but to me, she's absolutely adorable, gorgeous even. Sadly, there are a few things that push me away from pursuing that I find very unattractive. Take that out of the equation, then yes, I would be madly in love I can't tell you what it is that makes me attracted to her. It's not looks or looks alone.

I also have this girlfriend who is absolutely gorgeous, hot even... Yet I can hardly stand to be around her for more than a couple hours and I'm very much NOT attracted to her, though she is to me. I'd say I'm sub par compared to her so yes, I see where you're coming from.

Still, I believe superficial still has a role and it's not something we can correct. I think it's built in. Having all of the same interests, having the same wants and needs wont make it happen. There has to be something else. I can totally love and adore someone physically and make them feel 100% wanted and I can be ok with that, but It could be totally unfelt. I can pretend rather well for the sake of someone else's happiness.

I think many of us do that because we don't find what we want. I know I have.

Idk, I have a feeling I might of had one too many soul mates if reincarnation an actual fact.

Synchronizations and plot twists of fate an what not.

originally posted by: Serdgiam
a reply to: Ariel7

Is it expanding our spirit/inner self/consciousness, or is it expanding our awareness of what was there all along?

FWIW, you could say English is your first language and no one would think twice.

It is expanding of however you want to call it. But, you got the point. Expanding awareness sounds better.

FWIW - thank you!

originally posted by: StallionDuck
a reply to: Ariel7

I believe that when you meet the right person everything falls into it's place, even the looks and physical attraction you're mentioning.
It's that "something" (that certain vibe) which makes it a whole package (the personality, the looks, attitude towards life and so on...)
You can have great communication and understanding with someone, but only as friends. In that case, there's not this entire package we're talking about needed for the romantic relationship.
Maybe this is just too much theorizing, but when it happens - you just feel it and all the necessary components are there.

On this I agree but still, to an extent. I mean, you have to find that person that you're attracted to but even though looks aren't involved, you're still attracted when you look at their face.

For instance...

I say I'm not a material person, yet I love and own only FAST cars. When I'm driving my car, I love the attention I get from it. It's fulfilling in some weird way. I say I'm really not a shallow person but I tend to only be attracted by a certain appearance or type.

The above can be true and at the same time, not my fault. I can't make myself find someone attractive who I don't feel is, no matter how much conversation we have. Sure, we can be the exact same or she could be everything I've ever wanted but if one small thing is out of my attraction zone, say, she likes Rap and not Metal... She drives a mustang and hates vettes, yeah something silly like that... Or, she has an ear growing in the middle of her forehead. I might be totally uninterested.

I do know from experience that you can 'get used' to a person being around all the time and you will then find some kind of attraction or connection. That can be just as brutal when you go separate ways. I'd say that that's love. You can always grow to love someone but this is a little different.

There is one who I find very attractive who by appearance standards wouldn't be someone I'm normally attracted to but to me, she's absolutely adorable, gorgeous even. Sadly, there are a few things that push me away from pursuing that I find very unattractive. Take that out of the equation, then yes, I would be madly in love

I can't tell you what it is that makes me attracted to her. It's not looks or looks alone.

I also have this girlfriend who is absolutely gorgeous, hot even... Yet I can hardly stand to be around her for more than a couple hours and I'm very much NOT attracted to her, though she is to me. I'd say I'm sub par compared to her so yes, I see where you're coming from.

Still, I believe superficial still has a role and it's not something we can correct. I think it's built in. Having all of the same interests, having the same wants and needs wont make it happen. There has to be something else. I can totally love and adore someone physically and make them feel 100% wanted and I can be ok with that, but It could be totally unfelt. I can pretend rather well for the sake of someone else's happiness.

I think many of us do that because we don't find what we want. I know I have.

So, looks or physical attraction is important, to me too. What I said is that I won't search for someone based on physical looks, but some other qualities. Of course, along the way, there has to be chemistry also. If there's not chemistry and I'm not attracted to person in that way, I won't force myself to be with someone for whom I don't have complete feelings. In that case we can be friends due to our great communication, interests, wishes. That's why I've mentioned the whole package.

I understand you and it would be great if you found everything you want and need in one person. People are in relationships for various reasons. It's up to you to decide if your reasons make you satisfied and feel like you're following your real self, if you feel like real you in relationship. Actually, when being with the one who is for you, you'll feel free to be the very person you are in your core and you'll feel happy. I think that's when the person feels like they've found everything or the One.

originally posted by: Specimen
Idk, I have a feeling I might of had one too many soul mates if reincarnation an actual fact.

Synchronizations and plot twists of fate an what not.

It's possible. I believe in reincarnation and therefore soul familiarities.
If someone feels familiar to you on a soul level, it doesn't have to necessarily mean in a romantic way.

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: Nothin

This story does have a lesson.
Just to compare, when I go to the store I know what I want. If the store has what I need I buy it, if it doesn't have what I need I go out empty hands. But, I don't get "seduced" by the big choice of other products there.
I understand what you want to say with this story and how for some people it's never enough but they keep asking for more, that's why it's important to stay strong and modest in your head regarding your beliefs.
In this case it's not about perfection at all or about wanting things from a person that you cannot provide yourself - it's about wanting something/someone that/who is on the same wavelength as you are, which is completely fair.
Also, when it's about soul-to-soul love (bigger level), then there's no need for split hairs (I believe that's the right term) cause differences are normal (smaller level).

How could you know: whether your statements are 'true', or just fiction?
Are they all just beliefs, or some, none, maybe?

originally posted by: Nothin

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: Nothin

This story does have a lesson.
Just to compare, when I go to the store I know what I want. If the store has what I need I buy it, if it doesn't have what I need I go out empty hands. But, I don't get "seduced" by the big choice of other products there.
I understand what you want to say with this story and how for some people it's never enough but they keep asking for more, that's why it's important to stay strong and modest in your head regarding your beliefs.
In this case it's not about perfection at all or about wanting things from a person that you cannot provide yourself - it's about wanting something/someone that/who is on the same wavelength as you are, which is completely fair.
Also, when it's about soul-to-soul love (bigger level), then there's no need for split hairs (I believe that's the right term) cause differences are normal (smaller level).

How could you know: whether your statements are 'true', or just fiction?
Are they all just beliefs, or some, none, maybe?

That's a good question. How can anyone tell that for sure?

You have to stick to something in your life, right? Then why not sticking to things which you believe in, which make you feel like who you really are...regardless, if those are so called "facts", "fiction", "true". If they make you feel like your real self then that means you're living your inner truth, which makes them "true".

You know how miracle stops being miracle when explained? A miracle or a fiction to people is only that which is still not explained or they haven't seen some kind of proof for. I say 'still' cause there's explanation for everything and if not visible /heard now, it will be sometime in the future. The same thing is with my 'soulmate idea' - it's possible I don't meet that person in this lifetime, which doesn't mean he doesn't exist, which doesn't mean that my thoughts/feelings aren't manifested somewhere and sometime.

People (their spirits) are kinda trapped in these physical bodies in Earthly life, but this life isn't the beginning nor the ending. It's a part of the process (in many lives, worlds, realms, dimensions). Maybe our body doesn't have an access to all of these, but our spirit does. You could even say that what is a "fiction" in this realm could already be "true" in some other realm. So, everything I said in my first thread is an expression of my soul which doesn't want to settle for certain limitations, but for that which makes her alive.

originally posted by: Ariel7

originally posted by: Nothin

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: Nothin

This story does have a lesson.
Just to compare, when I go to the store I know what I want. If the store has what I need I buy it, if it doesn't have what I need I go out empty hands. But, I don't get "seduced" by the big choice of other products there.
I understand what you want to say with this story and how for some people it's never enough but they keep asking for more, that's why it's important to stay strong and modest in your head regarding your beliefs.
In this case it's not about perfection at all or about wanting things from a person that you cannot provide yourself - it's about wanting something/someone that/who is on the same wavelength as you are, which is completely fair.
Also, when it's about soul-to-soul love (bigger level), then there's no need for split hairs (I believe that's the right term) cause differences are normal (smaller level).

How could you know: whether your statements are 'true', or just fiction?
Are they all just beliefs, or some, none, maybe?

That's a good question. How can anyone tell that for sure?

You have to stick to something in your life, right? Then why not sticking to things which you believe in, which make you feel like who you really are...regardless, if those are so called "facts", "fiction", "true". If they make you feel like your real self then that means you're living your inner truth, which makes them "true".

You know how miracle stops being miracle when explained? A miracle or a fiction to people is only that which is still not explained or they haven't seen some kind of proof for. I say 'still' cause there's explanation for everything and if not visible /heard now, it will be sometime in the future. The same thing is with my 'soulmate idea' - it's possible I don't meet that person in this lifetime, which doesn't mean he doesn't exist, which doesn't mean that my thoughts/feelings aren't manifested somewhere and sometime.

People (their spirits) are kinda trapped in these physical bodies in Earthly life, but this life isn't the beginning nor the ending. It's a part of the process (in many lives, worlds, realms, dimensions). Maybe our body doesn't have an access to all of these, but our spirit does. You could even say that what is a "fiction" in this realm could already be "true" in some other realm. So, everything I said in my first thread is an expression of my soul which doesn't want to settle for certain limitations, but for that which makes her alive.

Indeed: ..."...How can anyone tell that for sure?..."...

..."...You have to stick to something in your life, right? ?..."...

Sorry: don't agree.
What is the reason for such a statement?

a reply to: Nothin

You inner self can.

Apology not needed.
People have all kinds of reasons which keep them going on in their lives or around which their existence revolves (curiosity, dreams, wishes, desires, beauty of life itself, various goals...). If you personally don't have that then I'm not sure would it be appropriate for me to feel sorry or glad for you (since I don't know you), but in any case...good luck!

originally posted by: Ariel7
a reply to: Nothin

You inner self can.

Apology not needed.
People have all kinds of reasons which keep them going on in their lives or around which their existence revolves (curiosity, dreams, wishes, desires, beauty of life itself, various goals...). If you personally don't have that then I'm not sure would it be appropriate for me to feel sorry or glad for you (since I don't know you), but in any case...good luck!

You're right. Though, sometimes people run out of reasons or those reasons go away and they tire of life because to them, it has little to no substance.

More to the point of "reasons", I think this is the factor. I think self esteem is also a large factor. It can be the difference between someone going after what they desire and someone taking anything for the sake of not being alone. Along with that... We are what we learn. Sadly. One small trivial thing to you and I could determine the road in which a child walks for the rest of their lives. It is who we are and how we came to be at this point.

For example. I believe that the showering of love that my grandparents had for me is a defining factor of who I am today and it's something I can not change no matter how much therapy I endure. From that experience of always being cuddled or "spoiled" by my grandmother, it turns out that cuddling and that closeness between two people is what I desire most. For one that I care about quite a bit and we're in this sorta "relationship" (because I have no idea what I would call it), she didn't have that and based on events of her childhood, she's 100% the opposite and doesn't like closenessness or cuddles that last more than a minute.

Some think that you can just turn off emotions and feelings. This just isn't true. Just like saying, you can choose who you fall in love with. Any fool in love knows this isn't true either.

I tend to be attracted to the fallen and down trodden because as someone pointed out, and I hate that she is right and it was very hard to admit to myself, that I need to be needed and wanted. That's why I subconsciously find a heavy attraction to those types of persons. Sadly enough... If I looked deep enough, I can probably surmise that I work as much and as hard as I can to have those shiny little pebbles that attracts certain mates. In other words, I work hard to have the ability to take care of someone. It's a sad truth. I don't like it one bit but childhood experience made me this way and I can't shake it. Sure, I can refrain any time I want because I'm stubborn, but it doesn't quelch the longing for the reason I was doing it in the first place... Being wanted and needed.

I like to think I'm a hopeless romantic - like almost on a creepy level ... lol But I just put that much care into one person that I adore. No, I don't stalk, no jealousy or anything like that but I do feel detached from something important when that person isn't around. I tend to find myself conforming around the needs and likes of that person as well. Another sad trait that I hate but... it just feels natural and I don't even know I'm doing it.

If we only looked at our children and SERIOUSLY realised that every moment we spend and every action, every word we say to them will mold them to how they will end up for the rest of their lives. ...and we'd never let them out of our sights In a way, that makes me glad that I don't have my own spawn. No matter how much I'd love to have them.



Great thread btw.