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Had A Tearful Conversation With God Last Night And Smelled Roses

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posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 08:18 AM
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To be honest, I was hesitant on posting this thread. I find that some people react weirdly when someone mentions they had experienced a paranormal incident...especially one that involves God.

I'm a former Catholic, having gone to a Catholic elementary and middle school, as well as a Jesuit all boy high school. On my senior year, in 1979, my theology class was taught by Rev. William J. O'Malley, who played the part of Father Dyer in The Exorcist, as well as being the technical advisor for the film. I still chuckle to myself, when I remember him telling me, how he wouldn't be surprised if I became a priest, after reading my theological journal. No such luck, Father.

I stopped attending church in the mid 80's, way before the news on priest sexual abuse made the new's headlines. At the time, I thought it was very hypocritical for the Catholic Church to tell their parishioners to give to the poor, while Vatican City was immersed in opulence. The fact that the Catholic Church was one of the wealthiest institutions on this planet, seemed hypocritical to me, especially after what Jesus said concerning the rich entering Heaven. When the news finally broke, about the abhorrent sexual abuse committed by priests, after decades of silence from the Church, I was convinced I made the right move.

Even though I don't attend church, I am still very spiritual and often converse with God. I like the word "converse" better than the word "prayer," because that is what I feel like I'm doing, when I talk to God about my problems. I never kneel, or pray in front of a crucifix...I just talk about my feelings when I'm in bed. My conversations with God is heartfelt, because deep down, I feel like I've disappointed Him over the years.

Last night, I was up late, as usual, because I've been having issues with insomnia due to finally weaning myself off Paxil, which I finally stopped taking, about ten days ago. It was getting close to 3 AM, when I thought I was tired enough to go to bed. My wife usually goes to bed at 10 PM and gets up for work at 5 AM, so I sneaked into our bedroom and laid beside her. As I feared, I was wide awake and couldn't for the life of me get comfortable enough to doze off.

I then began to talk to God. I remember talking about the withdrawal side effects I was experiencing and then started to tell Him how sorry I was for disappointing Him over the years. I apologized for my mood swings directed at my wife and kids, my lack of patience, my anger issues, as well as me being very judgmental sometimes towards people. I basically told Him that I could've been a better husband, father and friend to those who I've met over the years and felt ashamed of continually letting Him down. While asking for forgiveness, tears began to flow and I mentioned that I felt unworthy of His forgiveness. I should mention here, that I always struggled with self loathing because of my childhood, which probably resulted in the bouts of anxiety and depression I experienced as an adult.

I remember silently bawling, as I glanced at the alarm clock, when my wife suddenly got up to go to the bathroom. It was 3:30 AM and as I wiped the tears from my eyes, I started to smell the fragrance of roses. There I lay, unshowered for 2 days, wearing my workout clothes from several nights back and wondered what the heck I was smelling. My wife returned to bed and I remember leaning over to her side, sniffing the air above her head and pillow, to see if the fragrance was emanating form her, but it wasn't. The fragrance was only on my side of the bed and it certainly wasn't coming from my clothes or body.

I decided, soon after my wife returned to bed, to get up and go into our family room to lie down on the couch. As I descended the stairs, the smell lingered, as if it was following me. I laid on the couch, threw a comforter over me and began to sniff the air once again. This time the scent of roses was starting to dissipate and soon disappeared after several minutes.

This weird experience never happened to me before. From my religious background, I thought the scent of roses could be a sign of God's presence, or perhaps, a sign that an angel may be communicating with me. Was this God's way of telling me he heard my prayer? Has anyone experienced this before? Whatever I experienced, I feel very blessed and realize that God loves each and every one of us, especially when we're in despair.


edit on 3/27/2019 by shawmanfromny because: (no reason given)




posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 08:30 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

God was telling you to forgive yourself. Everything will be fine. Our omnipotent God of unconditional love forgives everyone who is penitent.

Anything that strengthens your faith cannot be a bad thing. Whatever is happening in your life if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. Anytime we cry it cleanses our soul. When we stop judging ourselves, when we forgive ourselves, only then are we open to appreciate all of God's blessings flowing our way. Hopefully, your new found faith will allow you to appreciate the infinite greatness that is God manifesting itself all around you.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 08:30 AM
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Wonderful post and experiance!

My grandmother would attribute this "The Little Rose". She used to tell me tales JUST LIKE THIS when I was a child. She was also a VERY devout Catholic, though she didn't attend church for health reasons. She used to have communion brought to her on Sundays.


Some info on The Little Rose

I will add, I've also read and heard about this relating to the Virgin Mary as well. Usually when relating to a miracle or death coming, or even prayers being answered.



edit on 27-3-2019 by StallionDuck because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 08:30 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

Very heart felt post. I wish you strength. I went cold turkey giving up alcohol about 26 years ago.

wiki


What is the spiritual meaning of roses?

Symbolism of the Rose Flower. The rose is often associated with numerology. ... In the Tarot the rose is considered a symbol of balance. It expresses promise, new beginnings, and hope. Its thorns represent defense, physicality, loss, thoughtlessness



also a warning.


What does it mean when you smell a sweet smell?
“By all means, a phantom smell could mean something serious,” says the psychiatrist and nationally recognized smell and taste expert. ... Brief episodes of phantom smells or phantosmia — smelling something that's not there — can be triggered by temporal lobe seizures, epilepsy, or head trauma


Seeing you stopped Paxil perhaps its best you get some tests done?

BTW I did the AA step giving myself over to a "higher power" ( god/gods ) to let go. That helped enormously



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 08:41 AM
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Something I stumbled upon by looking for information on your experiance:


Odour of Sanctity



An ontological state (a state of being), not usually related to an actual olfactory sensation, indicating that the individual possessing it is in a state of grace.


It's also written:


2 Corinthians 2:15-16
15 For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?




edit on 27-3-2019 by StallionDuck because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 09:12 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

When you first smelled it you thought maybe its your wife. No, it was you... But then when you left your wife's presence, it started to decrease in intensity until it disappeared entirely.

It's not your wife. Its not you, by yourself. Its you, WITH your wife, that makes God pleased and makes up for, or has the potential to make up for whatever disappointments you're worried about. Maybe have a baby or just work on loving your wife (even more) . .. .if you want to please God... Seems to be the message? Maybe?



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 09:14 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

The smell of roses is a sign frequently attributed to the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus....and a positive thing.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 09:19 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

Yes I have had experiences such as you had with "The fragrance". I never understood why or where it would come from. I also am a Catholic and haven't attended church on a regular basis since College. Just funerals. I also survived a Major stroke in 2009 cause by multiple sports concussions. I was in three hospitals for 32 days and yes I had a talk with God when it was happening. I was alone at home. I said WTF to him. I said that I am a good guy and never hurt anyone, never gamed the system. Unlike the neighbor Doctor who cheats on his taxes or the other guy with connections to the Mob I said again WTF. I then told him that if you have come for me now to go F yourself and come back in 30 to 40 years. I am still here. I was initally blind and could not walk while in the hospital and did recover both at 100%.

I am not one to trash the faith even in spite of the butt spanking priests and brothers as evil seems to be all around the world at this point in history. It always was before but now its out in the open.

Paxil. I was on that stuff back in 2000 and stopped taking it. I was misdiagnosed by my doctor. I finally went to the Cleveland Clinic. They found that I have a:




Mitochondrial Diseases | Cleveland Clinic my.clevelandclinic.org... Mitochondrial diseases are long-term, genetic, often inherited disorders that occur when mitochondria fail to produce enough energy for the body to function properly. One in 5,000 individuals has a genetic mitochondrial disease. ... Mitochondrial diseases are chronic (long-term


Since 2003 I take a cocktail of over the counter vitamins daily as prescribed by them and Dr. Julian L Ambrus Jr, MD Look him up. He thinks outside the medical community box. Hes also not a quack.

As far as God goes. I read somewhere that God doesn't want "meek" on earth but rather warriors to fight for him while here. Think about that.

Advice. It seems that you have put yer Big Boy Pants back on. Be leery of many on this site and all others as many have evil intent. Use your common sense. You seem to be on the right path and good luck.
edit on 27-3-2019 by Waterglass because: added



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 09:26 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

I commend you for opening up here, that's rare honesty. I cant relate to your situation emotionally but I sympathize. As per insomnia, I'm a lifelong sufferer.
That said, I once read a story, I believe it was called "The Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage".
I wont go into heavy details, but basically he was an Alchemist searching for truth and would commune with "angels" and "demons".
It said when Angel's were present, the air would take on a sweet smell like flowers and he would feel at ease.
When I saw your post, that was the first thing I thought of.
The will and the emotion put into your prayer and asking is of the same devotion and faith that was supposedly expressed in this story for Abramelin to "summon" these "Angels".
I'm not religious at all, but I can see the spiritual side of this and some of the similarities are striking to me. I doubt I'm on the right track but that's my two cents.
Check out the story if you can find it.
Was quite the read.
Good luck and be well.





posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 09:28 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

My heart tells me that your testimony is real.

Let those conversations with God lead you to the source of the smell of roses.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 10:10 AM
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The smell of roses is the smell of ketones. You may be emitting some acetylaldehyde from ketosis for some reason. Acetylaldehyde couples with other smells, sometimes it gives a fruity or flowery smell. It is actually good that you are getting rid of the chemical from your pores or it might cause you harm. That can be caused by drinking or certain microbes in your gut could be causing the chemical to form. Most times it is harmless, but sometimes it can be more of a problem. A similar ketone called acetone can also be formed by diet, women actually smell like acetone when they are pregnant. That can couple to some scents too, and some perfumes contain ketones, so do some soaps and stuff we put on our bodies. Mixtures of scents can happen. I personally dislike the acetone in fingernail polish and I am aware of the old person smell which is acetelaldehyde based.

I would say the smell is what kept you up, where it came from I do not know. Maybe you were excreting it, maybe your wife was, maybe the fragrance came from the laundry detergent used to wash the sheets, I am only guessing.

Why would talking to god make you sad? It actually makes me feel good, I have little regrets of what I have done in my life and have learned that I have to forgive myself for any minor transgressions I have done that I was unaware I was doing wrong at the time.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 10:16 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

Own your past
As crooked as it is
It is your connection to your beginning.

photo credit: Rzuwig - Crooked Forest



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 10:25 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

Human psychology is very weird and has been known to produce hallucinatory sensations that seem unexplainable therefore supernatural. This is the basis for hypnosis, sugar pills, and the law of attraction. Belief begets beliefs. With that said, what you did was very strong and honorable and you deserve credit for that conversation you had with yourself. Very challenging introspection and accountability and only the first step in a very long journey of self improvement. The next step is committing yourself to the idea that not only should you do it, but you can do it and no one can stop you except the voices in your mind. It all starts and ends with a choice you have to make and keep making every moment of your life. And if you have to say it's god giving you instructions and strength to follow through, it's the product that matters. If you're a better person at the end of the day, the right tools for the job is a conversation to have between you and whatever/whoever you draw inspiration from. Good luck pal.


edit on 27-3-2019 by TzarChasm because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 10:40 AM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny

I feel everything you say.

Never had a formal religious education myself but definitely agree that the wealth Vatican stored could have and should have been used for God's glory which is not and never was in the building of cathedral's but in the helping of his children the poor on the earth but then a church building can indeed serve a great purpose as a focal point for the congregation whom are after all the real church and as a place for there shepherd to offer guidance to the community.

So the building is a tool, when that is it's purpose and that is why many time's the Lord or Our lady made know there wish for a building to be built upon certain site's such as for example Tepeyac hill were one of the greatest conversions of a people ever had it's greatest seed planted when our Lady appeared to Huan Diego and gave him the sign we today call our lady of Guadeloupe (named after another miracle which happened across the Atlantic in Spain).

And I know that many priests are actually creatures of habit whom lost there own faith long ago - perhaps in many cases needing a missionary to go to them - but I do believe that the Church itself which is after all is in fact it's faithful - including it's lost children as well and it's true priests those that serve God with a pure intent (not all ordained by some bishop but many time's in secret by God himself - ever open the bible and it opened at the passage "Now you are become a priest of the order of Melchizedek) and also seek to do as the good shepherd did which was to if necessary leave the 99 and go after the one and whom have undoubtedly been engaged in a long hidden war for the soul of the priesthood itself against those wolves in sheep's clothing that have not only infected the catholic church but indeed every church and indeed ever religion not only Christianity seeking to circumvent the church for there own uses ranging from perversions to political power.
Well I believe the REAL church is very much alive and I do happen also to believe in Our lady.

To my mind that smell of Roses was perhaps an Angel or perhaps even Our lady herself looking down over you, she has not abandoned you and neither has her son, feel there pain when they look at those priests whom abuse THERE children, whom seek to destroy the very soul of those for whom Christ laid down his life.

You have received an affirmation that God is with you and his mother - your mother is praying for you.
www.thoughtco.com...
forums.catholic.com...
www.littleflower.org...

It's a sign, you spoke to God in your heard and he heard, he said to you I am listening and have not abandoned you.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 11:12 AM
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a reply to: StallionDuck

Little Rose lived down the street from me. I remember as a child busloads of people coming to church at certain times. There was a waitress that used to smell roses when reading a book about Little Rose. Very interesting.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 12:23 PM
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a reply to: shawmanfromny



I have smelled lilacs many times. Roses a couple. All at points in my life where I needed my dad/mom.



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 01:09 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

It's all very interesting to think about but never being able to really find an answer from what we imagine we know and what is really taking place. For instance...

As mentioned above, my grandmother was very much a Catholic, rather a cussing Catholic... Beautiful and sweet but mean as hell! Her home was full of the Virgin Mary statues, Christ statues and Crucifixes as well as many statues of the saints. The best gifts to her were holy ones. There was a saint for every issue.

She was VERY superstitious too. Everything had a meaning. I guess a lot of that sank into me, minus the superstition, of course.

Right before she died, I used to sit outside under my carport late at night and have a smoke. Just across the street, there was this shadow that looked exactly like a statue of the Virgin Mary that you see often, a very common statue with the hands spread downward as though speaking to someone.

This shadow was simply part of a small set of steps that led to the back door of the house but the silhouette was so perfect! Each night I saw this and each night I thought to snap a picture with my cell phone but I never took it out with me. I knew that she would have absolutely loved the picture. To her, that would have been a sign of sorts.

Not even a week later, she passed on. I still regret not bringing my phone out to capture the picture. She would have loved it.

Though... Maybe the shadow/silhouette wasn't for her to see but for for me to know that everything was going to be ok. She did very much believe in signs.

Traditionally it is said that when one is passing, the tend to see the faces of their little ones (had they died) or close family members. My grandmother mentioned some short time before that she saw her twins come to her bedside while she was praying her rosary one morning. She had a set of twins that died at childbirth.


It's stuff like this that will not allow me to shake the sense of something fantastic and wonderful in the world in which we do not see and so few experience. Many will say no such fairy tales exist. Tales such as these and experiences of my own throughout life tell me otherwise.



edit on 27-3-2019 by StallionDuck because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 27 2019 @ 02:36 PM
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You were asking for forgiveness. You were at a low point and ready to offer up all that you are and die to yourself to be new. That was your invitation I think. Accept the forgiveness and be made new. You're ready to move on. God doesn't need you to be in church every Sunday. He needs your heart and your willingness to walk with Him wherever you are. You asked Him and He's there.




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