posted on Mar, 23 2019 @ 05:30 PM
Haven't posted in a while, but here goes...
So I've been through a very rough twelve months, with some up's and many low's... it's really been tough...
I was raised as... I wouldn't quite say agnostic or atheistic, but more "believe what you'd like to believe" kind of mindset.
The past few months I've started feeling... something... I don't know what it is, but for someone who's never been a firm believer in anything,
it's quite intimidating...
Anyways, back to topic...
So this evening I had a fairly in-depth discussion with a friend of mine who's going through a similar situation to me... and theology came up (by
the way, she's the one who made me question my views and opinions on the whole subject).
Now, after coming in from my balcony, I was sitting before my confuser waiting for youtube to load, and had my hands together in a semi-prayer (palms
together and fingers locked over the tops of my hands). While sitting like so, I put my head down on my closed hands (it's past midnight here so I'm
quite tired) to close my eyes a bit. after a minute or so I opened my eyes, head still rested on my fists, and I saw, through my tear-blurred eyes, a
near exact mirror of myself on my hands.
Granted, it WAS just my hands that I saw; however, the creases and wrinkles matched exactly how my face would be, including one distinguishing feature
of mine - I'm pretty much blind in my left eye, and in the visage that I saw, there was no crease to the mirror-image's left "eye". The right eye
had detail matching my own eye-shape, and there was even my trademarked downturned mustache.
I sat up after a few moments staring at this "mirror image" of myself, and clamped my hands together again just as they were, but I could not get
the same result.
Am I going crazy? Did I just imagine the wrinkles on my hands looked like me? Or did I have some "reflect on yourself for a moment" moment? Did I
get a moment of something higher saying to me, "Look at yourself and observe who you are"?
I hope someone can help with this - as I mentioned, I've been going through what might be called a crisis of faith here, whereby I'm starting to
FIND faith, and not losing it.... and that in itself is quite intimidating....