Foods that get you a one way ticket to hell

A very important subject was brought up in another thread, I didn't want to derail it, but I am also worried of some of our members salvation.

I'm going to compile a list of sacrilegious foods that might as well be satan worshiping. These will be ordered in bad to worse sins, please feel free to add.

-As stated in another thread, cannoli that is not cannoli, if it is mass produced, you are spitting into the face of God by eating it.

-(Augustus, but I agree) Eating pizza with a fork.... It's a handheld food people, eat it with your hands, most even come with a handle, sometimes you have to fold it. (also, pineapple on pizza while I say is a sin, it is possible it just makes you get judged hard for other things)

-A properly cooked steak requires no sauce. A1 is acceptable on some burgers, but not steak.

-Putting meat in a crockpot or oven with high fructose corn syrup and calling it BBQ, ladies and gentleman, not only will this get you a one way ticket to hell, you get VIP torture when you get there. You can call the above dessert meat, but if you label it as BBQ and serve it to people with that title, it's right there with murder, seriously.

Please feel free to add.

*Disclaimer- I am not a reasonable person, so the above should be taken with knowledge of such, while I may be wrong and you may not go to hell, if you say any of the above is OK, we will make fun of you )

a reply to: CriticalStinker

How about this? Would it get somebody in the hot seat?

a reply to: CriticalStinker

Using Uncle Bens rice in any form - go straight to hell


edit to add, I seriously only eat pizza with a fork and knife, sorry!

a reply to: Skid Mark

Amen, add it to the list.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: CriticalStinker

Using Uncle Bens rice in any form - go straight to hell

Single moms can cheat and use Uncle Bens rice...

Any able bodied adult = Hell, straight to hell.

a reply to: CriticalStinker

On the pineapple on pizza thing, I would like to point out that an Italian who ran the local pizza place (he had an Italian accent when speaking Dutch) advised my ex to have pineapple on pizza to reduce the "grease feel" on her 4 cheese pizza. She tried it once and after that always ordered 4 cheese with pineapple. To each their own I guess.

As for pea and mayonnaise pizza, kill it with fire!

ETA The Dutch eat fries with mayo, it's awful, add to list.

Not the food but the way you eat the food

Colombians using plastic gloves to eat chicken, struth

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

On the pineapple on pizza thing, I would like to point out that an Italian who ran the local pizza place (he had an Italian accent when speaking Dutch) advised my ex to have pineapple on pizza to reduce the "grease feel" on her 4 cheese pizza.

The man sounds like a false prophet.

ETA The Dutch eat fries with mayo, it's awful, add to list.

The list has been updated.... PEOPLE, THERE IS NO NEED TO DIP YOUR FRIES IN EGG/OIL DRESSING!!! You'll go to hell

🤣🤣🤣🤣

a reply to: Raggedyman

Colombians using plastic gloves to eat chicken, struth

Context is key... Is it possible they still have solvents on their hands from making illegal substances?

I've seen people put ketchup on biscuits and gravy, which is absolutely disgusting.

originally posted by: Middleoftheroad
I've seen people put ketchup on biscuits and gravy, which is absolutely disgusting.

I'm repulsed.

That is truly what an uncivilized heathen would do.

Straight to hell.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

ETA The Dutch eat fries with mayo, it's awful, add to list.

That is a very European thing, especially Belgian & French.
Fries dipped in a garlic mayo is absolutely magnifient!!
Keep in mind American French fries and European frites are not even comparable.
The best American french fry can't hold a candle to European fries. I'm a true patriot and love all things American,
but on this I have to tell the truth. Pomme Frites are the bomb!

a reply to: CriticalStinker

Eating ortolan songbirds has got to be pretty high on the list:

The customary way of eating ortolan, a delicate songbird, involves the diner covering his or her head with a large napkin. Tradition dictates that this is to shield – from God’s eyes – the shame of such a decadent and disgraceful act.

...the rarity of the bird is not the only reason why killing it is so controversial. It is the method in which they are dispatched. Hunters catch the birds using traps set in fields during their migratory season (when they fly to Africa). They are then kept in covered cages, encouraging them to gorge on grain in order to double their size. It is said that Roman Emperors stabbed out ortolans’ eyes in order to make the birds think it was night, making them eat even more. They are then thrown alive into a vat of Armagnac, a trick that manages to both drown and marinade the animal at the same time. Killing two birds with one glug, as it were.

^ From this first link
link

Link 2

a reply to: JAGStorm

Ma'am.... I'm going to have to ask you to keep your satanic chanting down in this thread.

We are wholesome folk here

a reply to: CriticalStinker

Is dipping fries in a frosty, at Wendys a mortal sin, as well?

originally posted by: FamCore
a reply to: CriticalStinker

Eating ortolans has got to be pretty high on the list

link

Link 2

Hmmmm, that one is kind of like suckling pig... Tricky, very tricky.

originally posted by: Mach2
a reply to: CriticalStinker

Is dipping fries in a frosty, at Wendys a mortal sin, as well?

While I don't mind Wendy's food, sometimes I enjoy it...

You can do whatever you want with it... It's fast food, the shame we basque in while eating it is punishment enough.

-A properly cooked steak requires no sauce. A1 is acceptable on some burgers, but not steak.

Surely , you jest .
Ketchup , and a lot of it , all the way

originally posted by: Gothmog

-A properly cooked steak requires no sauce. A1 is acceptable on some burgers, but not steak.

Surely , you jest .
Ketchup , and a lot of it , all the way

Really strange way to say hail Satan.

You're a savage sir. Nothing I can do for your soul 🤣

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: JAGStorm

Ma'am.... I'm going to have to ask you to keep your satanic chanting down in this thread.

We are wholesome folk here

Watch this! sooo yum!!!
As the guy put it, so good it was moonwalking on his tongue!!! LOL