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How do you get over someone that you love?

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posted on Mar, 13 2019 @ 10:49 PM
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originally posted by: underwerks

originally posted by: Bigburgh

originally posted by: infolurker
a reply to: underwerks

There are 2 cures to this condition.

Time and finding another girl.


You're half right...
Time and Distance...

I had an Epiphany and found peace with myself. Single and perfectly HAPPY since 2005.


That's true, but every other time I've been in a similar situation I've moved thousands of miles away. Maybe that isn't the solution this time. Maybe it is. I dont know.

All I know is that I'm tired of running


No need to run. If you're running, you'll only end up at square one.
Be honest with yourself, and continue to be honest with yourself. Don't change for anyone and don't expect anyone to change for you.







You're somebody.




posted on Mar, 13 2019 @ 10:57 PM
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originally posted by: KansasGirl

originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: KansasGirl

Thank you for your reply. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. And yes it was sudden. One day we were fine, and the next it was over.

I can't help but to question everything she told me at this point. Even though I believe deep down that she meant everything she said about us, her actions say something completely different than her words.

Anybody can say anything, but actions will always tell the true story.


I knew it. That out of the blue thing makes it worse, and like you said, it gives you the added hell of going back and questioning everything. I did too! Forgot about that shippy part.

I know you don't believe it, but I promise you will feel normal again and you WILL be with another woman again whom you love as much as Ms. Sudden Breakupper. In fact, I bet money that you will end up with someone who is a million times better than Ms. Didnt-have-the-guts-to-bring-anything-up-until-the-last-minute-and-just-ran-like-a-12 year old-Girl. I'm also gonna bet money that you'll be with a woman so much better that you will look back and wonder why the hell you ever loved this one. Happened to me! 😃😃😃


Thank you. That does make me feel better. I hope you're right, but right now I can't picture myself with anyone else. Maybe that will change with time, but I'm not so sure this time around. I can't even begin to describe what she means to me. And where I'm at right now I don't ever see that changing.

I really hope you're right.



posted on Mar, 13 2019 @ 11:31 PM
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originally posted by: underwerks
I've recently gotten out of a relationship. I love this woman more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. She was my entire world, every part of it. I really believed we would spend the rest of our lives together, have kids, everything. She was all I ever wanted and then some. And now its over.

I haven't eaten since Monday, haven't slept since then, and I'm a wreck. Physically and emotionally. I couldn't tell you which way is up or down. She's the only thing I can think about, and no matter what I do I can't stop that. We genuinely had a soul to soul connection, and that is such a rare thing to find. How is someone supposed to start getting over something like this? My instinct is to drink, but I realize that will probably only make things worse. And the last thing I need to do is send her some crazy drunk messages.

I dont know. I've been in love before but it was never like this. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her, and now it feels like my world is completely broken in half.

I feel like there is no future or hope for anything at this point. She was my light at the end of the tunnel, and now it's gone. How do you even begin to start letting go of someone that means that much?


You don't get over it...You learn to live with it...You may find that you don't need that level of love to be happy...In fact, that level of love can be dangerous to you...

I know from experience that the best thing to do is to turn to God/Jesus Christ...Ask God to help you...

Loving someone that deep and then being rejected can and sometimes does lead to psychological issues...Some men/women start beating themselves up for not being good enough...That's part of the danger I'm speaking of...

It's normal to go out and meet other women to (1) get your mind off you ex and (2) to prove to yourself that you are still desirable to the opposite sex...And that does help...And it could be you'll run into someone who is equally or more attractive to you as your ex...

Good luck to ya...



posted on Mar, 13 2019 @ 11:36 PM
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Had a nasty break up with a girl that I was ready to spend my life with. It wrecked me for a little bit. Didn’t eat much, drank too much. But my friends wouldn’t leave me alone. They would show up at my house on my days off and drag me out of the house to do stuff. It was stuff like going to the museums in philly or New York. Going to these tourist cavern walk throughs getting drug through flea markets. But it really helped. If you have friends to lean on, then lean on them. Hope you start feeling better. But it does take time.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 07:56 AM
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originally posted by: underwerks
I've recently gotten out of a relationship. I love this woman more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. She was my entire world, every part of it. I really believed we would spend the rest of our lives together, have kids, everything. She was all I ever wanted and then some. And now its over.
How do you even begin to start letting go of someone that means that much?


When I got divorced from my first wife I was pretty cut up about it. And then someone said to me the first to you are with another woman things will not seem so bad. It took awhile and several women but eventually what they were saying is true.

I've come to the conclusion women are part of some giant Jungian Archetype called Woman. The way women think is practically identical. It's really quite amazing. So the painful love you feel you lost with the girl you broke up with you will find the same elements of joy in loving another woman.

However, what is important for you so you don't end up with the same result is to work on your relationship skills. Even though you will be with a different woman you will still be the same person with the same hang-ups. I would suggest you read a number of self-help books or watch some videos to try to improve your character. Everyone has character weaknesses and imperfections. But if we are aware of these imperfections they can become a source of our greatest strengths.

Here's a really good book that would help you turn you character weaknesses into strengths so in your next relationship you will be more successful:

www.amazon.com...

This is the book that helped me the most. Maybe it's not the right one for you. But you should try to do something to work on who you are in relationship.


Here's a really scary thought. I once heard a comedian do a bit where he said, "you are not like your parents. You ARE your parents!" He then went on to talk about how you have all your parent's strengths and weaknesses. So what happens in relationship, we ignore our parent's strengths because we take the strengths in our own character as givens. But for our parent's weaknesses we usually find them to be very annoying. Most people have hang-ups around their parent's weaknesses because they are our own weaknesses. And strangely, we only hate and criticize in other people what we do not like about our own character.

So my advice to you is with 7.5 billion people on the planet you are not alone and will most definitely find love again. It will happen probably sooner than you think. And you should really work on your own character weaknesses now so you will be ready to be fully available for your next great love.

This song is very insightful:



"'Till you drop that heavy baggage you're dragging behind,
there won't be room for us to both go this ride"


edit on 14-3-2019 by dfnj2015 because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 07:59 AM
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I just want to say thank you again to everyone in this thread. I keep reading over the advice here, and its helping me make sense of things.

Thank you



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 08:35 AM
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originally posted by: ParasuvO
a reply to: underwerks

First thing is delete her number from phone...delete facebook and everything that ties..don't make that mistake cause you will likely drink and its too easy to text dumb snip.

Second thing is delete all pictures, friends and talk to noone she knows.

Third play sports when you can, workout and find a mission in life that has nothing to do with what other people do.

Wish I had done those things alot sooner...glad i did after few months.


I deleted all social media last night, and that was the hardest thing so far. I can't keep looking at her profiles all day long, that isn't healthy. It hurts not being able to see her, but I'm hoping it's for the best in the long run.

I haven't deleted any of our personal pictures yet. I know I should but I can't bring myself to do that right now.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 08:38 AM
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a reply to: underwerks

You need to get your mind occupied on something else. Take a second night time job in the mall. Working for minimum wage is like mental floss.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 08:41 AM
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a reply to: Justso


My suggestion is to play what I call the "as if" game. Walk through the next few days living "as if" nothing has happened and you are carefree and happy. First time's a struggle but then the act begins to feel natural. Don't play any old tapes in your head featuring your ex-she's the past, the ex.


This is what I'm going to try to do today. I haven't really left my room since Monday so I'm going to get out and try to see some people.

Thanks for the advice.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 08:45 AM
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originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: underwerks

You need to get your mind occupied on something else. Take a second night time job in the mall. Working for minimum wage is like mental floss.


I'm going to try to do something like that as soon as I can. Me and my stepbrother are starting a business soon disassembling log cabins that are hundreds of years old and salvaging the wood. Hopefully that will help take my mind off of things.

I'm not sure if I can be around people yet at this point. But today I'm going to try.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 05:25 PM
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You got to get out and get busy, its a hard lesson but don't let anybody effect you so much. Ive been there I know its not worth it and just keeps you from being happy and finding somebody else.




posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 06:15 PM
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a reply to: putnam6

Dammit that was right on. Thanks for sharing that video. That actually helped alot.

And for anyone else that may read this later that is going through the same thing, I found something weird that helped me. War movies. I have no idea why. Maybe it's just me or maybe its because I'm a man, but I didn't really think about her at all while I was watching Apocalypse Now and Platoon.

I have no idea why.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 06:24 PM
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originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: putnam6

Dammit that was right on. Thanks for sharing that video. That actually helped alot.

And for anyone else that may read this later that is going through the same thing, I found something weird that helped me. War movies. I have no idea why. Maybe it's just me or maybe its because I'm a man, but I didn't really think about her at all while I was watching Apocalypse Now and Platoon.

I have no idea why.


Because those movies put life into serious perspective. There can be much worse things in life than a breakup.

Happy to see you in better spirits.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 07:24 PM
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Thats good man you got this,LOL got to watch Full Metal Jacket,Saving Private Ryan obviously. Hamburger Hill very good also



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 10:17 PM
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originally posted by: KKLOCO

originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: putnam6

Dammit that was right on. Thanks for sharing that video. That actually helped alot.

And for anyone else that may read this later that is going through the same thing, I found something weird that helped me. War movies. I have no idea why. Maybe it's just me or maybe its because I'm a man, but I didn't really think about her at all while I was watching Apocalypse Now and Platoon.

I have no idea why.


Because those movies put life into serious perspective. There can be much worse things in life than a breakup.

Happy to see you in better spirits.


I'm still torn apart but I'm trying to stay busy and not spend every moment thinking about her. She's an 8th grade English teacher, so I'm used to waking up at 5 am every morning and talking to her while she gets ready for work. I find myself still walking up at 5 am on the dot every morning whether I want to or not. I can't help it.

It kills me to do that, because all I can do is lie awake and think about her.



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 10:23 PM
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a reply to: underwerks

You are not alone mate, take some time out to do what you always wanted to, re-discover yourself.
This community will help you too.

Use it, learn from it, lean on the nicer people on here, and let yourself get over it in your own time not anyone elses


This site restored my faith in humanity recently.


edit on 14-3-2019 by XXXN3O because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 10:30 PM
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a reply to: underwerks

Have a watch, might not seem like it will help, but it will in time...




posted on Mar, 14 2019 @ 10:43 PM
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a reply to: XXXN3O

Thanks for the reply and the link. That video really puts things in perspective.






posted on Mar, 15 2019 @ 01:46 AM
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a reply to: underwerks

While everyone is busy reinforcing you and that is nice the simple fact of the matter is that clearly you were missing the signs that your feelings weren't being reciprocated otherwise she'd still be there, maybe you where suffocating her as clearly you where smitten, only down the road self analysis hindsight will reveal the truth.
Until then, turn that love into love for yourself and pride for yourself in the fact that your not gonna act like a thirteen year old who thinks life cannot go on without her.
Clearly she's not worthy of your mourning for her.
Get on with it, be the man the next women needs and not the man the last one didn't.
It's all about you, pass the test.



posted on Mar, 15 2019 @ 02:14 PM
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a reply to: underwerks

Take a drive, a vacation, just take a week off of work and head out on the road. Don't plan anything. Just get out of your surroundings for a week and de-compress.

Love is tough to get over, but you will eventually look back and smile at what you really did miss, an obvious bad relationship.

Drive.

Fred..




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