Parents should have kids throw rocks at them

www.npr.org...

Ok sounds crazy, but this is one way Inuit parents raise their kids and how the entire culture controls their anger.

This is a very long read, but very good.

I'll sum it up. A lady named Jean Briggs traveled to the arctic circle and lived with the Inuit people. She realized quickly
that none of them ever got mad, ever. It was not in their culture to get mad. They never expressed anger, even in situations
that were very frustrating. Mrs. Briggs frustration/anger seems barbaric compared to her hosts.

One day she was going for a walk on a beach and saw an Inuit mom and child. The mom told the toddler to hit her with the rock, hit her hard.
He threw it and she said it hurt very bad.

Bascially, they start teaching their children from a very young age that anger, and agression is not the answer. They do not yell, scold or spank their children. As a result of this, they grow up without anger, or agression. It is as if they train their brains at such an early age that playing, being happy is normal.

It makes me really think about the American culture where many young children grow up with terrible violence at a very young age. The inuit people do not even raise their voices at their children. I'll be the first to admit, I have yelled at and spanked my kids, but i'm wondering if there is a better way. I see a lot of parents act out in frustration. Now that I'm older and I go to the store and I see an exasperated mom or dad with a cranky child and they are yelling at them. I think to myself, boy that isn't helping. Maybe these Inuit people have it all figured out.....

"Children have all kinds of big emotions," she says. "They don't have much prefrontal cortex yet. So what we do in responding to our child's emotions shapes their brain."

I think a lot of it is your surroundings. I assume there isn't the same technology and stress in the Arctic Circle.

Although, I don't want to have rocks thrown at me, ever.

originally posted by: headorheart
I think a lot of it is your surroundings. I assume there isn't the same technology and stress in the Artic Circle.

Although, I don't want to have rocks thrown at me, ever.

Obviously, they don't have teenagers throwing rocks, but what they do with todders, it actually makes a lot of sense.
It teaches them so early, that hurts and you don't want to do that.

I'm sure they don't have the same environment or stresses, but I think the theory is spot on. It would never work in the US as a whole because, it is probably one of those things everyone has to believe/do. We have too many cultures, beliefs and different child rearing ways.

They do not yell, scold or spank their children. As a result of this, they grow up without anger, or agression. It is as if they train their brains at such an early age that playing, being happy is normal.

A friend of mine lived in China for the first couple of years of her son’s life, with her husband’s family. For the first years of a child’s life, toddler stage, they just let them run wild. Zero discipline. They told her “plenty of time for discipline, early childhood is just for play, fun times”

Her son turned out great.

Definition of "artic" from the Urban Dictionary:

A common misspelling of the word "arctic," usually made by people with a fourth-grade education.

Source

originally posted by: schuyler
Definition of "artic" from the Urban Dictionary:

A common misspelling of the word "arctic," usually made by people with a fourth-grade education.

Source

My bad, and corrected, but it says a lot about you that I posted this beautiful story and that's all you got out of it.
Maybe your parents yelled at you too hard while growing up!

The culture views scolding — or even speaking to children in an angry voice — as inappropriate, says Lisa Ipeelie, a radio producer and mom who grew up with 12 siblings. "When they're little, it doesn't help to raise your voice," she says. "It will just make your own heart rate go up."

Even if the child hits you or bites you, there's no raising your voice?

That just makes so much sense. So true.

My son bit me once when he was little. He snuck up on me, so there was a little less guilt from me when I knocked him onto the floor when feeling a searing sharp pain in my leg....

He was ok, I had real teeth marks, and he never bit anyone again.
He got lots of cuddling after the incident, I think I scared him a bit.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Really, really interesting story

Sounds like bite training puppies.
...when you yelp loudly when bit, startling the dog and changing its behavior
Cool

originally posted by: Mandroid7
Sounds like bite training puppies.
...when you yelp loudly when bit, startling the dog and changing its behavior
Cool

I didn't even think about that, it totally sounds like that.
We did that with our dog years ago and it worked so well.

originally posted by: snowspirit

The culture views scolding — or even speaking to children in an angry voice — as inappropriate, says Lisa Ipeelie, a radio producer and mom who grew up with 12 siblings. "When they're little, it doesn't help to raise your voice," she says. "It will just make your own heart rate go up."

Even if the child hits you or bites you, there's no raising your voice?

That just makes so much sense. So true.

My son bit me once when he was little. He snuck up on me, so there was a little less guilt from me when I knocked him onto the floor when feeling a searing sharp pain in my leg....

He was ok, I had real teeth marks, and he never bit anyone again.
He got lots of cuddling after the incident, I think I scared him a bit.

My mom did something similar to me when I bit her as a kid. She bit me back. I never did it again afterwards.

a reply to: dug88

Nice.

Mine just put out smokes on my neck.



Lol, no totally joking

a reply to: JAGStorm

Canadian natives are very, very different from Alaska natives, then. Anger, violence, and abuse is a very real problem in native villages here.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I'll bet the Inuit people have both parents running around helping to raise the kids? I would hazard a guess that kids have responsibility toward the family and/or community from a young age. I would bet a lot of so-called old-fashioned and hateful notions that are being discarded in today's modern and so-called enlightened society still exist in these Inuit communities (not the ones being destroyed by modernity -- drugs and alcohol).

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: JAGStorm

Canadian natives are very, very different from Alaska natives, then. Anger, violence, and abuse is a very real problem in native villages here.

That is mostly alcohol and drug related though. Prior to us introducing our culture to the Inuit's it may have been different.

You are right about the problems here, but I don't think it speaks to the actual Inuit culture.

"Maybe these Inuit people have it all figured out."

You bet they do--and it works great for their culture and social system.


While it's nice to think you could raise your own kids to think and act the same as the Inuits, your kids would be victimized by others that are not of the same mindset. A typical person, incapable of anger, would be incapable of defending themselves.

This sort of thing works well only when the majority of a population behaves in a similar manner.

a reply to: JAGStorm

No.

Parents should not have their children throw rocks at them.

My youngest son will soon be 16. He's typical. Emotional, testosteronal, dramatic.

He asked me (the other day) why he feels like he feels.

I said to look at the source of your feelings. Where do they come from? Where do they originate? What precipitated the feelings?

Try to understand the "how" and "why" you are feeling the way you are feeling.

If you can isolate the source, identify it, you can actually change the way you feel.

Anyway, anecdotal. Just my 2 cents.

originally posted by: TheTruthRocks
"Maybe these Inuit people have it all figured out."



This sort of thing works well only when the majority of a population behaves in a similar manner.

Hence the weakness of diversity.