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Once again. . . . Behind enemy lines

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posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:29 PM
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Once again I find myself behind enemy lines.

Unfortunately, business has taken me to Sacramento. Which is Dutch for "Greta's Spleen".

I'm try to be cool here since I'm here most of the week, but my first day I almost screwed up by requesting a straw for my beverage at a restaurant. Fortunately, they've eased up on cigarette smoking since EVERYONE HERE is smoking pot now.

And I mean everyone.

Seating areas in the restaurant I went to was, "Munchies" or "Dorito's" sections.

I did try to see the new governor today but apparently I'm not "white" enough to be in his neighborhood so I was told to leave.

But they did give me a guaranteed salary for doing nothing and I was able to punch someone wearing a MAGA hat (just to fit in mind you).

I did smuggle in toilet paper since they don't believe in that anymore as well as some red meat I had in my suitcase.

My visa for visiting California is only until Thursday but since I'm from Oregon they might let me leave without paying 90% tax on everything here.

I'm frightened but confident that I can survive the ordeal.

This is my story if I don't make it out alive. God help me if they ever find out that I voted for "He that shall not be named".






posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:35 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Godspeed soldier....godspeed.



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:37 PM
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Good God man!! If you don’t make it out alive, I’ll recommend you for the metal of honor, God speed Cowboy!!



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:39 PM
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Man-Bun or Bust---reeeee-reeeeee---Russia!



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:43 PM
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Throw on that Maga hat, walk into a restaurant, 6 months in court.......never have to work again......



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:48 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Sacramento... three hundred miles up the a**hole of Kalifornia.

Keep your powder dry, my friend.

And just remember.. trust no one.

I hope you make it back alive.




posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:49 PM
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a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

I bruise easy.




posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:57 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

If you drove, and it was summer...omg, the smell of ammonia and sh#t driving near Sacremento is ungodly!



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:58 PM
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a reply to: BlueJacket

I flew. Alaskan Air. Love that airline.

Had lunch and too many Bloody Mary's at Beaches in PDX.




posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 09:59 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

California?!

Farewell forever my friend..




posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:00 PM
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So, you are trying to deceive people into believing you are a liberal Democrat.

In California they are used to believing in deception, it is the birthplace of Hollywood after all. Everyone there acts every day so nobody will know you are trying to deceive them about this. If they start to start wondering if you are a conservative, just act gay or say you are an illegal alien and they will not question your actions anymore. Start talking about some new social program and ask them to support a tax and they will think you are working for the state.

Good luck, trick anyone in order to get back out of the state so they do not tax you to death.



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:02 PM
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a reply to: rickymouse

It is California.

I'll just tell them I'm working on a screenplay.



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:03 PM
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originally posted by: knowledgehunter0986
a reply to: DBCowboy

California?!

Farewell forever my friend..



Oh damn, a Doctor Who sadness meme?





posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:05 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

It's funny. Last year we were asked if we wanted to work in Sacramento or Portland. It's like asking if you want to walk 10 miles barefoot over broken glass or broken legos.




edit on 11-3-2019 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:06 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

youre the man, now I want a tasty beverage



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:45 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Lol, you have a way of making things truly warm and hilarious. The skunk thread is going to stick with me.

While I don't question you being uncomfortable in the belly of the beast, as I couldn't live in Asheville or Austin, they're my favorite places to visit.

Take away the fact I'm a native Texan so Austin gets every pass available , Asheville is a restaurant and beer mecca with a casino. Here I am, torn.

My guess is you're a delightful teddy bear DBCowboy. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

I bet you have plenty of lib buddies where you live.

I bet when you are a guest, you're off-puttingly polite in the bestest of ways.

You're an open minded convicted believer.



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 10:54 PM
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a reply to: CriticalStinker

Don't harsh my buzz, dood!

(I had to say that in case someone was listening)


My man-bun wig disguise.




posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 11:07 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Don't put the bad juju of your buzz at risk on me, I don't have the constitutional fortitude to be able to deal with such weight.

Seriously though, it's like the wizard of Oz in Cali.

If ever it's too much, just put on a red hat, tip it three times and say "there's no place like home" and poof, you're kicked out. 😉



posted on Mar, 11 2019 @ 11:59 PM
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Greta’s was a decent little restaurant in the “Grid” section of midtown; great desserts, but they closed more than a decade ago.

Now it’s a Chipotle. Sigh!

Last I heard, the Governor had moved into the restored mansion over on 21st Street downtown; the “white folks” tend to live farther east in the “Fabulous Forties” or south of Broadway in the Land Park neighborhood; both are very “old money”.

Pick up toilet paper at Costco, we buy in bulk to save money for our lattes and avocado toast.

Take your suitcase full of meat to Ruth’s steakhouse over by the state university. Take lots of money, they are expensive!

If your “visa” expires, California is a sanctuary state - even Oregonians are, mostly, welcome.

However, rest assured that everything you earned while in California is subject to California income taxes as a non-resident.

If you receive a W-2, make sure your employer “breaks out” the wages you earned while “over the border” to assist you in filling your California tax return.

Hasta la vista, baby!
edit on 12-3-2019 by Bhadhidar because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 12 2019 @ 12:15 AM
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a reply to: Bhadhidar

lol #$@&% thats all I got



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