DBCowboy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

The day started as normal. Get up at 0430 and let the dogs out. (Yes, it was me.) The dogs usually bark a bit, scaring away the stray twig or leaf that might have had the temerity to invade our land. We live fairly isolated, no close neighbors, no big deal.
I then let the dogs in and noticed a different "odor" permeating from our hounds. Ignoring the encroaching reality I attempted to run to the "lav" so I could start my morning toilet when , naked and delicate, my wife grabbed me from my sanctum in order to scream at me in person.

Apparently one of our dogs, a small Welshie, got into a bit of a disagreement with a skunk.

Our dog apparently ran straight to our bedroom attempting to clean off his little pup snout.

Let me tell you. . . . memory foam bed toppers do have a memory.

I did attempt to get dressed so I could hide in my office for the day but unfortunately, my wife knows the combination to our gun safe. So out of the kindness of my heart and a deep fear of a beating or shooting, I chose to stay at home today and help my wife clean.

I did notify Gunther who (too happily) encouraged me to take more time off if needed. I need to beat him more.

I did take all linen and towels and clothing to a coin-operated laundromat where I had a wonderful discussion on the merits of dental hygiene with a purveyor of meth.

Our dog was shampoo'd multiple times with a shampoo mixture of Dawn dish detergent, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda.

I have saved the tomato juice to hide the large amounts of vodka I'm imbibing to deaden my sense of taste and smell.

More to follow. . . . . .

a reply to: DBCowboy

I hope your day gets better.

If it doesn't though, please share more. Your writing makes me giggle.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Enjoy your time in the dog-house. Make the best of it you can.

At least you didn't say "Worst day ever!" or "Could this day get any worse?"

a reply to: DBCowboy

A chemist by the name of Paul Krebaum discovered a solution that chemically neutralizes skunk odor. The for- mula is: 1 quart 3 percent hydrogen peroxide (fresh bottle) 1/4 cup baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) 1-2 teaspoons liquid dish soap.

To wash the dog.

Placing bowls of vinegar around the house will help neutralize the smell.


Get well soon.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Oh jeezuz...
I know that smell all to well.

Our old dog Loki took the Skunk squirt to the face more than once.
The first time he ran into the house and started rubbing his face on the couch.

The second time I saw it happen.
And as he was running to the back door I slammed it closed just in time.
Complete with a yelp from the blinded, stinking dog as he ran face first into the door.

I left him out there for probably 45 minutes as I got dressed and headed to Walmart to grab the peroxide.

He was a long haired Alaskan Malamute.
I took 2 large bottles to get all the stink off him.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Oh, my. Been there many many times.

The only thing I've found that really works is a product called 'skunk off'. Some pet stores and vet clinics carry it. But the trick is to use it first, and only it.
I keep a bottle on hand.

My last encounter, the dogs trapped a skunk in the crawl space under the mudroom. My main way in and out of the house. Needless to say every jacket, coat, shoe, etc smelled like skunk for months.

Good Luck, DB !

a reply to: Grimpachi

Yes. Because after he let a skunky smelling dog into the bedroom his wife will trust him with the cleaning duties at all. In fact I can see some doggy behaviour approaching. Someone sleeping on the couch, for example...

a reply to: DBCowboy

Sorry to hear about this day man, this happened to my mom recently.

Don't beat yourself up about not noticing the smell though. Many people say it's just an odd smell at first, it then transforms into a burning chemical or rubber smell, and then alas, the indistinguishable stinky smell of skunk or illegal herbs.

Vodka will help the situation though DB, as you so wisely pointed out.

However, may I suggest mixing your wife a drink as well to take her edge off, and protect your physical well being. (A little bit of benadryl goes a long way, we call it a Bill Cosby here).

a reply to: DBCowboy

If the skunk just sprayed the dog you are lucky. Wife and I were watching a movie at night so I let Kelly out to take a wiz. The back door goes onto a wood deck. Skunk was on the deck and sprayed Kelly in the face and over her through the back screen door and into the home. Took Kelly to the Vets for the special bath and she slept in the garage for over a week. We could also not live in the home for over a week and stayed in our condo. It took over one year for the skunk smell to leave the home. Good luck. Most serious thing is that the skunk stuff can make the dog lose its eyesight. You may want to call a vet. We were told to use eye drops and some other soothing rinse that was a prescription. I cannot remember

To add;

We've chopped up apples in bowls and have them all over the house.

Currently it smells like a skunk sh#t a Waldorf Salad.

Nature's Miracle Skunk Odor Remover helps.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Hope your ol' lady lets you live to see another day!

Hope the day gets better and look forward to the rest of the story!

I once worked with a girl, whose dog got chased by a skunk, into their house. A now smelly dog, and a skunk still with enough spray left for the living room of this small one bedroom house.

Insurance company paid for new furniture, new carpeting, some of her clothing, repainting.....

She couldn’t get all the smell off herself for over a week, and she still had to come in to work. It smelled like someone was smoking herb in that workplace for some time 😂

Skunks are so much fun...

originally posted by: DBCowboy
To add;

We've chopped up apples in bowls and have them all over the house.

Currently it smells like a skunk sh#t a Waldorf Salad.

LMAO😆😆
Go get a Unicorn, they have powers..

good luck

Worst smell on earth. I caught one in a leg trap as a kid. It was in my chicken pen trying to get to the eggs or something. You could smell it a quarter mile away. After I shot it....green slime ran out of its ass. That pen was like chernobyl for 3 days.


My wife is british and i took her back to visit my mama in Ky....she was like JEESUS H CHRIST! What is that smell. Road kill skunk.....that snip has a 35 square mile raius of unholy nastiness.


Soak the house in tomato juice man...and good luck.

If you get skunks regularly why not invest in a skunk proof fence around your property. needn't be an expensive anti tiger proof fence but probably some cheap meshing.
DB, don't go against the wife, you have to live with her.

Have you ever noticed, that when your dog gets too close to the skunk, I mean butt biting close, that it makes your dog smell almost burnt?
Kind of a burnt skunk smell.
Had a once a week occurrence of this, for a month straight. Because, in the country, apparently people think baby skunks make cute pets, until they don't, and they just let them loose. No longer scared of animals or people.

Hubby actually got paid to come home one of these times, as he was making other employees sick. LOL He had gotten used to it.

I don't envy you. It is awful. Skunk away shampoo doesn't work for crap either.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
To add;

We've chopped up apples in bowls and have them all over the house.

Currently it smells like a skunk sh#t a Waldorf Salad.

Sounds like you all are still quite busy.

Might be a good time to start my conspiracy thread I've been working on for a while.

"DBcowboy, and his slow transition to socialism, an expose on extreme partisan shifts."

a reply to: DBCowboy

WTH is that supposed to do? That's like bringing a cinnamon stick to a paper mill.