You don't know what you've got until it's gone

Why are some people determined to ruin things???? They have things only others could dream of having, yet, they are never satisfied and want to mess everything up.

Where does this self destruct attiude/behavior come from??

If something is good, enjoy it, don't spoil it.

Wow...great question Pocket...

...sometimes I think some people don't feel they deserve happiness, or deserve good things in life...they have a low opinion of themselves and a low self-worth...so when they are presented with golden opportunities, or when they find themselves in a good space, it is unfamiliar...and so in a way they subconsciously seek the familiar...even if that is pain and loss - for that is all they have known and all the believe themselves worthy of...

I've seen it many times...people who just seem to sabotage where they are, turn their back on a good thing and walk away...



Peace,
ALIEN

Do they realise what mistakes they are making and suddenly wake up?

Originally posted by Pocket
Do they realise what mistakes they are making and suddenly wake up?

I would hope so.

But then I think that maybe they aren't even consciously aware of what they are doing...their beliefs are on a subconscious level...and when we believe something, have something that ingrained on a subconscious level, we tend to bring those beliefs into being...whether we are aware of it or not...


...but it sounds like there is much more to this post than meets the eye...whatever it is, I hope it works out for the best...



Peace,
ALIEN

Thanks Alien....

Not really, just seen so many people throw their life away when there's really no need.

What a waste

Originally posted by Pocket
Do they realise what mistakes they are making and suddenly wake up?

Yes, and no.

Yes they know that they are making the same mistakes again - going out with the same sort of abusive partners, making the same sort of abusive statements they made before.

No, they say they can't stop it, that they are not at fault, that everyone is against them. They are locked into a self pitying cycle, without realising that they have the way to get out.

Something I'm very familiar at myself..though I don't really do it deliberately. To explain the answers to the questions you are asking would be my point of view and not the real answers from the person you desire the answers from..

You asks some great questions Pocket, but noone can answer these questions for another. We all do things for our own personal reasons and sometimes we do things for no real reason or intent what so ever..

Everyone feels their own life and looks at their own life through their own eyes..
I'll give you a personal example, that may or may not help you with what you are asking:

I've just divorced my second husband. Noone has agreed with my decision except me. Why? Because they don't live through my eyes, they aren't in my home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They see what they see, from an outside perspective and they base that on what they think I should be doing. They believe our lives to have been perfectly normal in terms of a marriage of only 3 years..infact most think we've given up too easily and too soon. They think I've ruined my life and our childs and even his life, by divorcing him. But what they don't know is that, even though it may *look* as though I've ruined our lives and spoiled a "good thing", I have done quite the opposite. I have closed the door on two people whom I know could never love one another the way we both desire to be loved and in turn, I've opened 2 doors for each of us to find that love that we both need. He needs a certain love that I can/could never provide for him and I need the love that I know he could never give to me. There's more to this story, but I think what I've given should explain the questions you are asking.

Noone should look just at the surface of things, because things aren't always as they would appear..and things aren't always explainable either..sometimes we just *know* and sometimes that's all the explaination we need to decide what we do with our lives. In the long run, or looking back in hind sight, is then that we may see the reason, in it's entirety..
Magestica

sadly so many people dont realise it until its too late, and then are too scared to do anything about it , and end up losing everything!

sometime you have to take risks in life, other people will never have to worry about.

we all come to cross-roads in our life's, but which road we take isnt that easy too choose, and then find out its the wrong one, by then its too late and theres no going back!

i personally have only been through 1 divorce but have been widowed twice, life's full of if's and but's. if i hadnt married A he would still be alive today, as B killed him, thats something i've got too live with the rest of my life, B's doing -time as they say and C was killed not long after we married.

But if i hadnt married A and gone through all the pain and #, I wouldnt have a loving son now. something good came out of my bad past, but past's dont always stay there do they, and they can come back and bit you in the ass, just when you thought your life was getting straight.

If you have the choice, take that chance, it maybe your last?



blackwidow

[Edited on 7-7-2003 by blackwidow666]

Its an old proverb/saying to 'remind' oneself that good things don't always last. Many take 'things' for granted and when things are going good, have a tendency to 'forget' the bad or how things were before. Its like saying: "Never forget were you came from."

regards
seekerof

What great stories! Thanks for sharing ....

Self destructive actions are rooted in self hate. Either you don't believe that anything good should happen to you, so you sabotage things that ARE good. Or you expect the worst because its been your lot in the past. Or your past is so 'bad' that you feel you have to atone for it for the rest of your life.

The hardest person to love in the world is yourself, truely, because you are so aware of the mistakes you made / the failings you posess / the opportunities you have lost.

Coming to an acceptance of yourself and a recognition that you deserve better just because of whom you are, a person loved by God, respected by others, brings a freedom to love others for whom THEY are, and not for what they provide.

Its one of the hardest of lifes lessons for some people..

Some people are driven by war, upheaval, power, disharmony and the need to put others down.



Other people are drama queens.



Me, I try to be happy with what I've got. But sometimes it's nice to throw it all away for the hell of it and do it again, differently. I don't like complacency.