Happy Birthday slash Valentine's Day Teri!

As I was growing up and far into my adulthood, valentine's day never meant romance and love and flowers and chocolates and all of that Hallmark bull#. It was my sisters birthday - may she rest in peace.

That's right - February 14th - She was a crazy-ass, funny as hell, witty, mischievous, often times irritating but could always make you laugh Aquarius!
And she'd never let you forget she was an Aquarius either.
She always spoke her mind, always spoke the truth and didn't give a # what anyone thought about it.
She always befriended the elderly and animals.

I miss her.

Each year it was all about the Sunday birthday dinner at Ma's and trying to stick to the traditional birthday themes - with just a few hearts thrown in haha! Each year I'd give her a gift that had something to do with the on-coming warmer months, usually pool or beach themed. One year I gave her a beach bag, inside another small cosmetics bag, inside that a new wallet and in the wallet were some gift cards. She opened it and was laughing saying it was like one of those Russian dolls.

Of course my dad would always bring me one of those heart shaped boxes of chocolate with a teddy bear tied up in a bow. Yup... still have all them teddy bears. And my sister would get jealous.... because I was the little sister and got the little kid stuff and even though she was much older than me, she secretly, and sometimes not so secretly wanted the little kid stuff too.

Anyway, this will be the very first time in my life that my sister isn't around on valentine's day, to celebrate her birthday. I still don't think of February 14th as valentine's day. It's my sisters birthday.

In honor of her memory on her birthday, and because she was selfish enough to die in June and ruin my summer (joke), I am going to buy her a bunch of really cool beach stuff and wrap it. On this coming Sunday I'll make a big Sunday dinner with cake and everything, I'll open that gift and keep it for myself.

She can be jealous from Heaven... or wherever he energy is...

RIP Teri - my sister, my friend - 2/14/1958 - 6/30/2018

I'm sorry for your loss.
Happy birthday Teri!

I’m hugging you Teri...

Lags

originally posted by: caterpillage
I'm sorry for your loss.

Happy birthday Teri!

Lol, it is not the OP's birthday. It is her sister's birthday, the same as Valentine's Day and this is her first year where her sister is not present for what would have been her birthday.

To the OP, yep, "Love Is A Losing Game". At least you experienced her all that time. Try being in a loveless family where everyone is into themselves - not so nice and no cute memories, neither.

I have known loss all my life. Love is indeed a losing game. I could not be like the selfish people. I hunger and thirst for justice and quality life.

Death is perhaps the greatest teacher to humans and the greatest humbler. It teaches us about what really matters. I have lost so many people. All of them had it better than me yet here I am soldiering on like a hard case. My secret weapon is Jesus. He is a great teacher of survivalism and also a great Bereavement Counsellor.

I don't celebrate these funny little days humans have made for themselves so I can't sympathize with you there, but I can empathize with your grief. I come from a hard place and my memories are all mean and tarnished from my childhood. I only have time for love and good feeling, that I am so in deficit of on this earth. They are everything. I will not let any bad influences anywhere near me. They are all banished. Feel blessed that at least you had something beautiful in your life all these years. Many do not even have that much, be sure of it.

a reply to: Skorpiogurl

I sent you a PM. That message is another secret weapon I have against the pain of this life. Great things come in little packages sometimes!

a reply to: caterpillage

Now I have worked it out. You are saying happy birthday to her sister! My mind does not register saying happy birthday to people who have passed away. May be it is a difference of culture? Sorry, my bad! It was the Slash, Teri thing. Saying happy birthday Slash then with Teri at the end. Birthdays and death days! Perhaps death days are a birthday of another kind? Jesus taught that it was so. My own death does not worry me, but having to witness the deaths of close people is a bloody nightmare. I have had enough of that already.

I've got my mind on some problems of my own right now, no nice memories from some experiences. Damn, my life is a constant uphill battle with no relent. I mentioned about a "million hooks" in another thread. Yes, that is how many you have to pull out of yourself. Once you pull out one there is yet another.

I was just thinking that one thing I do is not think too much about death. Life is for thinking about life. May be because it is hard I keep clinging to that as a way to remain enthusiastic? May be we all do that to some degree?

Jesus said a strange thing that we might take offensively if He said it to us just as we were burying a close relative. He told his followers "Let the dead bury the dead". If He told that to me as I was burying my own I would totally understand this and take it as help. It has been a great help to me. He is meaning they have gone, passed on and their lives are no longer here. If we waste all our time on what has gone, that no amount of tears can ever bring back, it is a pointless task. Life is concerned with what is alive. Loss has taught me that death is as common as birth, a universal human experience and as much a part of the universe as birth. Therer is a place for both. Death is totally out of our control. We avoid it like the plague, but it can't be stopped as an inevitability. I have seen it happen a lot in my life and work.

I pin every hope on this Resurrection and the Kingdom Jesus spoke of. Life would be pointless and totally intolerable for a soul like me if there is no future in it. What would be the point of investing anything in a business you know was going to go bust at any time with all your savings in it?

If I did not believe in something more than this I would have no hope or interest. Because I believe in more than this I have enthusiasm, a sense of purpose and the tools to handle the worst kinds of grief and loss this life may present. It is very much like being a soldier in a war for me.

Perhaps this may comfort the OP or she may hate it. For me it is tough talking and comfort to keep me going when I have to answer the emotions grief imposes.

In spite of death, in the shadow of death, I try to keep dancing. It is survivalism. "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

I'm am sorry for your loss. Your sister sounds like she was a great person and meant a great deal to you. I know religion isn't popular (I'm proud of my faith) here these days but I'd like to believe she's in a better place. I sincerely hope that while this date keeps a significant place in your heart , that all future Valentine's days become a day where you receive the same love you've shown here for your sister. Happy Valentine's day, Skorpiogurl.

She was a wonderful gift to you. So sorry she isn't here to appreciate your thoughtful gift to her on her special day.

You sound like a great little sis. Know this is a tough day for you. Hopefully all those great memories will help you through this day.

a reply to: Skorpiogurl

Happy Birthday to your big Sister! I too am sorry for your loss.

Thanks everyone, for the kind replies and the good energy
I would rather celebrate her birth and life than mourn her death.