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You Can’t Feel Like A Girl: An Essay By Jamie Shupe

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posted on Feb, 6 2019 @ 02:05 PM
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a reply to: Boadicea

This is a really hard question to answer, especially from my current perspective. A lot of the feelings have weakened in many ways and it's kind of suffocating to try and bring them up enough to really explain it. I'll try though.

Ability to be more openly empathic and act in ways that are more cute and silly. The ability to cry again rather than convert those emotions into anger or rage. Ability to wear cute dresses without needing to tuck. To be with a man in the way I'm attracted to them. I'm sort of bi in a weird way. I've no interest in male form on male form, and guys that make me aroused are ones that bring out feminine feelings in me. I can't really feel right with a guy in a masculine body but am attracted to some men.

I also really like children, and have strong maternal instincts, I also like that as a woman you can approach and be nice to random children without the social stigma that come with being a man due to pedophiles causing suspicion towards men friendly with children. Is weird but I always admired motherhood and wished to be able to be a mother, including pregnancy something I'm aware transitioning could never make happen.

There are several ways of moving and acting that I would like to do that don't fit a male body. Many which I would define as cute. In order to feel good doing that though I'd need to able to look in the mirror and feel cute. So not only would I need to have become female but a cute one two.

So in other words transitioning would have never worked in any way, I'd need to be sure to be cute or still have body image issues and able to be a mother and bare a child completely impossible. It wouldn't have worked.

This is only some stuff and as said perspective is a bit skewed compared to then at this point due to personal growth and acceptance.




posted on Feb, 7 2019 @ 09:09 AM
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a reply to: Puppylove

Thank you so much for responding... and with so much thought and feeling. I very much appreciate it, and I apologize if I put you in a difficult position. It makes me appreciate your response that much more. And I've gotta say I'm very impressed by your capacity for introspection and understanding your deeper self, perhaps your higher self. I'm sure it wasn't easy or pleasant, but I'm thinking it has helped you shine in many ways. Good for you!!!

You've actually helped me understand much too -- which I also appreciate! I can relate in some ways. I'll bet most people can to one extent or another. Especially in terms of how we fit society's "ideal." I always feel like the proverbial bull in a china shop. I'm not dainty, graceful or classy. I swear like a sailor. I'm not at all into clothes or jewelry or makeup. I've just resigned myself to never being that cute girl society adores... and I have a sister-in-law and daughter that are!

I think we all find society's stereotypes restricting -- and dare I say ridiculous? -- in some way.

I'm wondering how we got to this point. I came of age in the '70s, when gender stereotypes were being smashed to smithereens. And I was raised to be as resourceful and self-sufficient as my brothers, so even at home stereotypes were thrown out the window. I probably "earned" more merit badges than most boy scouts.

What really horrifies me about where the Trans Activism is going though, is that while the worst stereotypes are embraced and glorified, the very real need for safeguarding is thrown out the window. Of course I don't believe that every man -- transgender or otherwise -- is a violent predator. But we know that many men are, and that reasonable and practical safeguards have to be taken. When my kids were young, my husband never ever gave a ride to one of their female friends alone. Either I gave them a ride, or our kids accompanied my husband if he gave them a ride. I never ever for a minute thought my husband was a creeper, but it was a practical and reasonable safeguard to protect everyone and reassure their parents their child was safe. So when I see any and all safeguards ridiculed and minimized -- like single-sex spaces -- it sends up red flags for me.

And when I read (as I did this morning) that Daily Mail has been court-ordered not to report the transgender status of violent criminals, and that Trans Activists in Australia are petitioning to ban all news media from reporting the transgender status of violent suspects/criminals, it scares the bejeezus out of me... which in turn makes me see red.

I don't want to just ramble here. But you've given me much to think about, and I thank you.

And FYI, I realized too late -- so again, my apologies -- that you might get some backlash for sharing your non-Trans Activist approved thoughts. I was very sad to read that another person had gotten grief from the trans cheerleaders here for expressing themselves. If I'm going to engage in this topic -- and I am! -- I need to do better in standing up for others as well. So I just want to promise you I'll have your back. And anyone else in such a position, in this thread or any other.

On the plus side, for whatever reason, the worst of the Trans Activists haven't spewed their crap here on ATS, and I very much doubt the Mods would tolerate it anyway!



posted on Feb, 7 2019 @ 10:10 AM
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a reply to: Puppylove

You know, you are more like my husband in that.

He's the more nurturing of the two of us honestly. He loves kids, but he's also unapologetically male. He'd be more than happy to do the stay at home thing if my job allowed it. He wanted kids before I did although part of that had to do with my health situation, and parenting wise, I am definitely the stern one. Our son knows that when he's pushed daddy over, he's absolutely out of line.

He's aware of the public perceptions of men who like kids, but he's the one who's usually out and about when the neighborhood kids are playing for example.

But again, this is less about anything other than society sending mixed signals on gender roles. On the one hand, they're all bad, but on the other hand, we are absolutely being held to them more than ever it seems.



 
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