I can’t explain what I just experienced.

Having trouble sleeping tonight. Usually I read myself to sleep. But tonight, I just couldn’t fall asleep. To be transparent, I’ve had sleep issues in the past but never falling asleep. I’ve suffered sleep paralysis and woken up to sleep hallucinations. The hallucinations are always spiders crawling around in various places and disappear within moments of my realization of my surroundings. I haven’t had sleep paralysis in quite sometime. Between the two of them I’ve learned to recognize them and even control aspects of the sleep paralysis. What happened tonight was neither. I can confidently say that.

Around 11pm, I finally started to quite my mind and find some rhythmic breathing. I dozed off briefly before I woke back up. I did some more reading and spent about an hour trying to fall back asleep. During that hour, things started to get weird. My brain went hyperactive and I couldn’t slow it down. I was thinking about tragedies happening within my family. To be fair, I relate this to my families personal struggles as of late.

My Dad recently broke character and told me he had a bit of a mental health breakdown. He’s not committed or anything, but he is seeing a therapist and he’s essentially retired from work because of it. In short, he’s taken care of my grandmother/his mother for a year and half since she had a medical incident leaving her permanently hospitalized. He’s had to deal with all of it mostly on his own. Without spending time breaking it all down, he deserves a medal for all he’s had to do for her in spite of his own brother leaving my grandmother for dead. All the while, working full time.

Before that happened he basically cared for my brother and his two kids for several years. They lived with him. My brother, at the time, was lacking the skills to care for himself, let alone two kids. He was a self-centered, angry, 38 year old man-child who blamed the world for his inadequacies. My dad deserves a lifetime of gold and riches for doing all he did for them. (This is a lengthy post so I’m trying to summarize these two stressful points in his life)

Now, my grandmother is stable and comfortable. At 95 years old she may still outlive us all. My brother has since received his associates degree and is living on his own in Missouri. There are still stresses,but nothing like what my dad has had to endure. I’ve been afraid it was all too much for him to handle for months. I live 1,000 miles from him and can do little to help him other than be an ear for him to vent too.

Tonight, at exactly 12:30 I awoke to a sense of doom. I felt what I can only describe as a presence pass through me. It shook me. I was awake, coherent, and terrified. It was not sleep paralysis and it was not a hallucination. I then laid there for some time trying to get a grasp on what was happening. My brain was in overdrive again. I couldn’t stop it from bouncing from topic to topic. Then, suddenly, and without provocation,I started to write my dads eulogy in my head. I practiced speaking it in front of an imaginary audience at a funeral. I defined what a father was and spoke stories of everything we all loved about him.

For 10 minutes, I laid there awake and unable to stop it from happening. I had this genuine feeling of sadness and mourning. I got up, went to get a glass of water, and decided I had to type this up somewhere.

Feeling something pass through you like that is enough to question yourself but to lose control of my own thoughts like that right after it...I can’t explain it. Perhaps it was an evolution of sleep paralysis. Perhaps it’s as simple as my real life concern for my fathers well being. Perhaps it’s somethkng in the realm of paranormal.i dont know. All I know is the entire chain of events was completely foreign to me and has left me a bit out of sorts.

Anyone experienced anything like that before?

It wasn't supernatural, that much I can give you my opinion on. It sounds like anxiety, possibly with a panic mechanism thrown in, triggered by the stress of being involved in the family situations emotionally which is normal if you care to the level that I'm sure you do.

Having thoughts of your dad passing away is a part of that. The grandmother is about to pass away, he's pushing himself extra hard with the situations while working full time at an older age. You want to be the one to give the eulogy at his funeral, even subconciously prepare for it in an anxious emotional moment while you're attempting to sleep.

originally posted by: r0xor
It wasn't supernatural, that much I can give you my opinion on. It sounds like anxiety, possibly with a panic mechanism thrown in, triggered by the stress of being involved in the family situations emotionally which is normal if you care to the level that I'm sure you do.

Having thoughts of your dad passing away is a part of that. The grandmother is about to pass away, he's pushing himself extra hard with the situations while working full time at an older age. You want to be the one to give the eulogy at his funeral, even subconciously prepare for it in an anxious emotional moment while you're attempting to sleep.

I enjoyed your response and thank you for taking the time to write it. I enjoyed the longer version more than the shorter version. Lol.

It’s certainly a rational response and I’m going to have to look into some of the terms you mentioned to educate myself on it better.

It makes sense. I do feel the strain of it but not nearly to the level he has. If it is an anxiety/panic attack...WOW! I hope I never lose control like that again. What are some things you’ve done to relieve it?

consider it first contact,and buckle your seatbelt...
coz rerality is going bay,bay...

originally posted by: Assassin82
Having trouble sleeping tonight. Usually I read myself to sleep. But tonight, I just couldn’t fall asleep. To be transparent, I’ve had sleep issues in the past but never falling asleep. I’ve suffered sleep paralysis and woken up to sleep hallucinations. The hallucinations are always spiders crawling around in various places and disappear within moments of my realization of my surroundings. I haven’t had sleep paralysis in quite sometime. Between the two of them I’ve learned to recognize them and even control aspects of the sleep paralysis. What happened tonight was neither. I can confidently say that.

Around 11pm, I finally started to quite my mind and find some rhythmic breathing. I dozed off briefly before I woke back up. I did some more reading and spent about an hour trying to fall back asleep. During that hour, things started to get weird. My brain went hyperactive and I couldn’t slow it down. I was thinking about tragedies happening within my family. To be fair, I relate this to my families personal struggles as of late.

My Dad recently broke character and told me he had a bit of a mental health breakdown. He’s not committed or anything, but he is seeing a therapist and he’s essentially retired from work because of it. In short, he’s taken care of my grandmother/his mother for a year and half since she had a medical incident leaving her permanently hospitalized. He’s had to deal with all of it mostly on his own. Without spending time breaking it all down, he deserves a medal for all he’s had to do for her in spite of his own brother leaving my grandmother for dead. All the while, working full time.

Before that happened he basically cared for my brother and his two kids for several years. They lived with him. My brother, at the time, was lacking the skills to care for himself, let alone two kids. He was a self-centered, angry, 38 year old man-child who blamed the world for his inadequacies. My dad deserves a lifetime of gold and riches for doing all he did for them. (This is a lengthy post so I’m trying to summarize these two stressful points in his life)

Now, my grandmother is stable and comfortable. At 95 years old she may still outlive us all. My brother has since received his associates degree and is living on his own in Missouri. There are still stresses,but nothing like what my dad has had to endure. I’ve been afraid it was all too much for him to handle for months. I live 1,000 miles from him and can do little to help him other than be an ear for him to vent too.

Tonight, at exactly 12:30 I awoke to a sense of doom. I felt what I can only describe as a presence pass through me. It shook me. I was awake, coherent, and terrified. It was not sleep paralysis and it was not a hallucination. I then laid there for some time trying to get a grasp on what was happening. My brain was in overdrive again. I couldn’t stop it from bouncing from topic to topic. Then, suddenly, and without provocation,I started to write my dads eulogy in my head. I practiced speaking it in front of an imaginary audience at a funeral. I defined what a father was and spoke stories of everything we all loved about him.

For 10 minutes, I laid there awake and unable to stop it from happening. I had this genuine feeling of sadness and mourning. I got up, went to get a glass of water, and decided I had to type this up somewhere.

Feeling something pass through you like that is enough to question yourself but to lose control of my own thoughts like that right after it...I can’t explain it. Perhaps it was an evolution of sleep paralysis. Perhaps it’s as simple as my real life concern for my fathers well being. Perhaps it’s somethkng in the realm of paranormal.i dont know. All I know is the entire chain of events was completely foreign to me and has left me a bit out of sorts.

Anyone experienced anything like that before?

Part of the dreaming process is to guide us through situations of danger and stress that we may possibly encounter. From a primitive perspective, we need to react without stopping to consider the best path for us. Preparing, so that we have already taken time to consider the best outcome, before the danger happens, makes sense. Consider, when dreaming, how we often replay the sequence until we 'get it right'.

This could be the modern equivalent of our brain just doing what it does.

Also, I like your avatar picture.

a reply to: chr0naut

Haha...thanks! When I came across it the first thing I had to do was put it on my ATS profile.

a reply to: Assassin82

Who, really, can explain dreams? I can assure you that your dream is not outside the realm of human experience. I myself have unsettling dreams from time to time. I have also had dreams that showed me jobs I was going to work months before I got them. This happened 3 or 4 times over my lifetime. The details were uncanny.

When I get a disturbing dream, I usually try to forget about it. 99% of the time it does not happen. Still, I have an ominous foreboding for a couple days that gradually fades.

When we realise the inevitability that life ends, it does things to our subconscious thinking. And that you say your father has changed in the past year, opening up about mental health, dealing with family, retiring, I'd consider that you are becoming more aware that things will keep changing. And the one thing that not even medical magic can fix, is old age.

I've had the very same experience as you. Waking up with a sense of impending doom that just doesn't abate. Thoughts racing, as if being drowned in them, like a tornado is inside of you and all you can feel is terror and panic. The thoughts that just won't be calmed.

My old mum is getting on, unstable on her feet, needing more and more help. It's one thing to become ill, people can get better... there is no getting better from old age. Once you see the signs, and with that realisation that things will end, those things start to bubble out of the subconscious.

I would say that it is how your subconscious is allowing you to deal with this. And, it changes you, a little..

a reply to: gallop

After reading the responses to this post, and another online posting I made with the same concern, it's looking more and more like anxiety resulting from these thoughts and concerns to which you speak of.

My Grandmother is one of my favorite people. She's forever set to live her remaining days in a wheelchair occupied by a mind none of us recognize. My brother finally started to get his life together; but he's still got a long ways to go and I know my Dad will always worry about his oldest son and those two kids.

And my Dad, he's tried to help countless people better themselves in life only to get burned time and time again. It took him 60 years to find a relationship where he's actually happy. But I know his past relationships, my own mother included, took a great toll on him. Financially he's secure, but he's always had to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for my siblings various needs. It's prevented him from living an enjoyable life. He's worked damn near everyday of his life since he was 13.

Plus, he's a heavy smoker, a regular drinker (not a heavy drinker), and his diet isn't the best. I worry about him more than anyone. So it makes since that anxiety would start to kick in after hearing he had a breaking point. He's always been a "man's man" in the sense that he refused to go to the Dr for anything, was tough as nails, and never showed weakness in front of his kids. When a person holds all that in for too long, their breaking point is gonna be heavier.

In all fairness, I've been blessed as it pertains to losing loved ones. I lost my two of my grandparents when I was young and before I could build a strong relationship with them. My grandmother and father are the closest family to me and I could see them both passing relatively close to each other all things considered. I hope not, but it's not inconceivable.

My first thought after your post was anxiety, but coupled with hallucinations it didn't quite fit. I know you believe you were awake when you experienced the sensation that something passed through you, but sleep disorders can be tricky in that way. I'd hazard a guess that you're suffering from a sleep parasomnia.

Medications can often have strange side effects on some individuals; so if you've started using any new medications, you might want to bring this matter to your physician's attention. Do you have a family history of Narcolepsy or mental illness?

I'm not trying to discount or minimize what your saying, but it's always best to explore other possible causes than the paranormal. Hope you get sleeping better soon!

originally posted by: LLoyd45
My first thought after your post was anxiety, but coupled with hallucinations it didn't quite fit. I know you believe you were awake when you experienced the sensation that something passed through you, but sleep disorders can be tricky in that way. I'd hazard a guess that you're suffering from a sleep parasomnia.

Medications can often have strange side effects on some individuals; so if you've started using any new medications, you might want to bring this matter to your physician's attention. Do you have a family history of Narcolepsy or mental illness?

I'm not trying to discount or minimize what your saying, but it's always best to explore other possible causes than the paranormal. Hope you get sleeping better soon!

No, no history of mental illness in my family other than my dads own recent anxiety complications. And I’m not on any new medications other than a multi-vitamin. I know what you mean though, I have experienced neurological side effects from medication in the past. I’ve never been on a lengthy prescription for anything.

My guess in anxiety. I called my dad today just to see how he was doing and he sounded great. I passed on some good news to him to relieve both of our stress levels. I’ll be keeping a close eye on myself to make sure I don’t let my mind lose control again.

Not to get too far off topic, but you're the only other person I've ever seen mention hallucinating spiders. This has happened to me for years. Only when waking up from sleep, usually in the middle of the night (when it's too dark for me to even see what I think I'm seeing). I've learned to just live with it, and gotten much better at telling myself it's not real even though it's scary. I had no idea this was a thing! I thought I was the only person this happened to, and had no idea why. Now I'm googling, and it sounds like it's not nearly as uncommon as I thought. So strange to see you post something I haven't ever heard anyone else talk about that I've been experiencing all this time.

originally posted by: Weagle
Not to get too far off topic, but you're the only other person I've ever seen mention hallucinating spiders. This has happened to me for years. Only when waking up from sleep, usually in the middle of the night (when it's too dark for me to even see what I think I'm seeing). I've learned to just live with it, and gotten much better at telling myself it's not real even though it's scary. I had no idea this was a thing! I thought I was the only person this happened to, and had no idea why. Now I'm googling, and it sounds like it's not nearly as uncommon as I thought. So strange to see you post something I haven't ever heard anyone else talk about that I've been experiencing all this time.

Yeah, it’s a thing. I don’t know why spiders. I’m not afraid of them, except when I hallucinate them. At first I would wig the “F” out. Launch myself out of bed, beat the crap out of whatever the imaginary creatures are crawling on, then think of how stupid I look.

Now, like you, I just deal with it. Not a cause for concern.

a reply to: Assassin82

Have you ever considered you are feeling the "life forces" of thee people and the planet that are going through some kind of flux --- a disturbance in The Force if you will?

For I too have had a few very strange days and then yesterday the thought happened "you've got this" and I Knew that I did (I have a bunch of very hard work to do that's been stressing me out Until yesterday after thinking aboutit a bit and I KNEW ... "I've got this!")

The two things you can give away and never lose are what you know and how you feel. Be smart and kind and people will love you just becoz *that' what you Are!*